I have a complaint to make

AzureWolf · 06-21-2002, 09:53 AM

This is something that has been the bane of my life, much as some of you may find it so. The one thing that can ruin your day anytime, whether it be on a date, in the school classroom or even as impossible as it may seem a sunny day on the beach.
This terrible plague upon mankind that I have a grudge against is none other then the gut-dropping natural fuel.
There is nothing worse then say for example being in a situation like an end of year school exam when this is happening. I mean really, there you are sitting at the desk concentrating on one of the most important times in your early life, focusing yourself on your work thinking to yourself "I am going to do this!". But then like calling down a curse upon yourself, and it could be none other then a horrible death dealing curse it suddenly happens.
Some random guy/gal lifts their leg and with a rip roaring snort lets go what I can only describe as a blood-curdling, credible imitation of a shit demon coming to life in your classroom. Yes, that ripe rotten arse belch springing forth from your fellow classmates uniform is truly mankinds greatest enemy.
So there you are sitting at your desk all peaceful with a quiet tranquility surrounding you ready to get on with your exam when said person lets go what can only be a product of cliffs gut-buster brownies. I mean how the hell are you meant to do an exam in such conditions, when all you can think about is being the first to get to the door and take a breath of fresh air before you succumb to the noxious gases.
I propose that this here is the biggest thread mankind will ever face and if we dont face up to it we are surely doomed to a life of misery.
Anyone else dont like it? [img]smile.gif[/img]

[ 06-21-2002, 09:54 AM: Message edited by: AzureWolf ]

johnny · 06-21-2002, 10:02 AM

You worry too much !

Memnoch · 06-21-2002, 10:05 AM

Hold your breath for however long it takes.

TAOWolf · 06-21-2002, 10:10 AM

*ROTFLMFAO* [img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]
absolutely awful, I agree.....

When I was stationed at McConnell AFB, Kansas, we had a crew-chief in our unit that was one of those types......

I was inside the intake of an F-4, checking the engine blades ((note, that you have to SQUEEZE yourself in there, and I'm not fat by any means, so you can't just turn around and haul ass out)), when this guy comes up, sticks his butt in the opening, and lets one of the most gawd-awful farts rip............. I thought I would pass out before I could get out of that intake!!!

He also cleared the hangar during Commander's Call one time...
The Commander chased him across the flightline *LMAO*

Mouse · 06-21-2002, 10:10 AM

Nose filters, gas masks and handy little "eau de Cologne" sprays all may offer a solution to your distress.

That or breathing through your mouth

dizzy · 06-21-2002, 11:24 AM

lol, great post. lol id go with the mouse on this one....

Megabot · 06-21-2002, 11:54 AM

great AzureWolf you are a thinking man i am to so don`t be sad this is the way the life is for all of us!!

[ 06-21-2002, 11:55 AM: Message edited by: Megabot ]

SomeGuy · 06-21-2002, 12:01 PM

You mean a fart right AzureWolf?

06-21-2002, 01:08 PM

ther eis only onw solution - YOU MUST RELEASE ONE OF YOUR OWN!!!!

Horatio · 06-21-2002, 03:33 PM

I agree totally. Butt plugs should be sold immediatly.
I was once on a date with a girl at the cinema. We were sitting in the back row getting BIZZ-AY (nudge, wink) when suddenly the guy in the row in front (a little to my side) lets off a gut wrenching fart. I mean, this thing was like a napalm bomb. It could have flattened London if not confined to OUR TWO ROWS!!!!
Anyway, I snort in laughter (come on, you have to laugh at times like that) and the girl pulls away. Suddenly I realise, SHE THINKS IT WAS ME!!!! The guy is sitting on my side, and she thinks it was ME! Oh god, the humiliation!!!

06-21-2002, 10:02 AM	#2
johnny 40th Level Warrior Join Date: April 15, 2002 Location: Utrecht The Netherlands Age: 58 Posts: 16,981	You worry too much ! __________________

06-21-2002, 10:05 AM	#3
Memnoch Ironworks Moderator Join Date: February 28, 2001 Location: Boston/Sydney Posts: 11,771	Hold your breath for however long it takes. __________________

06-21-2002, 10:10 AM	#4
TAOWolf White Dragon Join Date: December 1, 2001 Location: Mountains of Arkansas, US Posts: 1,887	ROTFLMFAO [img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] absolutely awful, I agree..... When I was stationed at McConnell AFB, Kansas, we had a crew-chief in our unit that was one of those types...... I was inside the intake of an F-4, checking the engine blades ((note, that you have to SQUEEZE yourself in there, and I'm not fat by any means, so you can't just turn around and haul ass out)), when this guy comes up, sticks his butt in the opening, and lets one of the most gawd-awful farts rip............. I thought I would pass out before I could get out of that intake!!! He also cleared the hangar during Commander's Call one time... The Commander chased him across the flightline LMAO __________________ May the moon always shine upon your face, and your imagination soar to the heavens.... Chan ann leis a’chiad bhuille thuiteas a’chraobh.

06-21-2002, 10:10 AM	#5
Mouse Ironworks Moderator Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Scotland Posts: 2,788	Nose filters, gas masks and handy little "eau de Cologne" sprays all may offer a solution to your distress. That or breathing through your mouth __________________ Regards Mouse (Occasional crooner and all round friendly Scottish rodent)

06-21-2002, 11:24 AM	#6
dizzy Mephistopheles Join Date: January 18, 2002 Location: Baumholder Germany Age: 39 Posts: 1,434	lol, great post. lol id go with the mouse on this one.... __________________ An Army of fun. <br /><br />\"The worst thing about being in Germany in the Army is having to wakeup everyday\" <img border=\"0\" title=\"\" alt=\"[Wink]\" src=\"wink.gif\" />

06-21-2002, 09:53 AM	#1
AzureWolf 20th Level Warrior Join Date: May 3, 2001 Location: . Age: 40 Posts: 2,762	This is something that has been the bane of my life, much as some of you may find it so. The one thing that can ruin your day anytime, whether it be on a date, in the school classroom or even as impossible as it may seem a sunny day on the beach. This terrible plague upon mankind that I have a grudge against is none other then the gut-dropping natural fuel. There is nothing worse then say for example being in a situation like an end of year school exam when this is happening. I mean really, there you are sitting at the desk concentrating on one of the most important times in your early life, focusing yourself on your work thinking to yourself "I am going to do this!". But then like calling down a curse upon yourself, and it could be none other then a horrible death dealing curse it suddenly happens. Some random guy/gal lifts their leg and with a rip roaring snort lets go what I can only describe as a blood-curdling, credible imitation of a shit demon coming to life in your classroom. Yes, that ripe rotten arse belch springing forth from your fellow classmates uniform is truly mankinds greatest enemy. So there you are sitting at your desk all peaceful with a quiet tranquility surrounding you ready to get on with your exam when said person lets go what can only be a product of cliffs gut-buster brownies. I mean how the hell are you meant to do an exam in such conditions, when all you can think about is being the first to get to the door and take a breath of fresh air before you succumb to the noxious gases. I propose that this here is the biggest thread mankind will ever face and if we dont face up to it we are surely doomed to a life of misery. Anyone else dont like it? [img]smile.gif[/img] [ 06-21-2002, 09:54 AM: Message edited by: AzureWolf ]

06-21-2002, 11:54 AM	#7
Megabot Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice Join Date: October 18, 2003 Location: Oslo, Norway. Age: 61 Posts: 3,360	great AzureWolf you are a thinking man i am to so don`t be sad this is the way the life is for all of us!! [ 06-21-2002, 11:55 AM: Message edited by: Megabot ]

06-21-2002, 12:01 PM	#8
SomeGuy Unicorn Join Date: May 14, 2002 Location: Oklahoma, USA Age: 33 Posts: 4,238	You mean a fart right AzureWolf? __________________ \"I firmly believe that any man\'s finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is the moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious.\"<br />-Vince Lombardi

06-21-2002, 01:08 PM	#9
Lord Shield Guest Posts: n/a	ther eis only onw solution - YOU MUST RELEASE ONE OF YOUR OWN!!!!

06-21-2002, 03:33 PM	#10
Horatio Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice Join Date: September 19, 2001 Location: Behind these metal bars Age: 41 Posts: 3,117	I agree totally. Butt plugs should be sold immediatly. I was once on a date with a girl at the cinema. We were sitting in the back row getting BIZZ-AY (nudge, wink) when suddenly the guy in the row in front (a little to my side) lets off a gut wrenching fart. I mean, this thing was like a napalm bomb. It could have flattened London if not confined to OUR TWO ROWS!!!! Anyway, I snort in laughter (come on, you have to laugh at times like that) and the girl pulls away. Suddenly I realise, SHE THINKS IT WAS ME!!!! The guy is sitting on my side, and she thinks it was ME! Oh god, the humiliation!!! __________________ I <b>am</b> the party!!<br /> [img]\"http://zert0.net/iuti/img2/1381585-vi.gif\" alt=\" - \" />

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