Nice guys don't finish last....

[Zeeke75]

Ok, many people have shared stories about themselves, so I thought that I would share with you something has been taking place in my life for awhile...

Once upon a time, in a place far, far away.....no, that's not right....um, let me start over again...

So, there's this woman....I know, I know, you've all heard a story start out like this before...but, please, hear me out...

Well, there is this woman that I met through her mother. I've been really good friends with her mother for awhile, and eventually I started chatting with her daughter. We immediately hit it off, and became very good friends, very quickly. She was in a relationship at the time, so it was simply friendship.

Over the months, we became closer and closer friends. We talked about everything....there was no subject that we couldn't openly talk about. I opened up to her and "showed her the real me", and that is something that I rarely do - at least without a significant amount of hesitation. No hesitation on this one.

Well, eventually, the inevitable happened. I fell in love with her. HARD. Hopelessly, completely, madly. I honestly don't remember EVER feeling this way about a woman, and I was married for 4 years (divorced now). I talked to a LOT of people about it, mainly to keep my sanity. I guess now would be a good time to thank Reeka and Charean for keeping my head from exploding. THANK YOU!!!!!!!

Since she was in a relationship, I decided that I didn't want to ruin that, and/or take the risk of losing her friendship. So, I kept quiet, and just continued to be myself, and show her what the "real me" was really like - with the hope that she might develop some feelings for me as well.

This went on for about a 2 months. We'd talk and talk and talk, and spend time together, and talk some more. I started to suspect that she had some feelings for me, but she wasn't saying anything, and was still with her boyfriend, so I continued to keep my mouth shut. I asked for lots of advice, to see if I was reading things correctly.

Then, one day, things got really intense in a conversation that we were having, and I got the overwhelming urge to tell her how I felt. I chickened out before I did, but the feeling wouldn't go away. Once I got some time to clear my head, and listen to what my heart was saying, I realized that it was time to tell her how I felt. I'd been listening to my heart for the path to take up until this point, so I knew that I wouldn't be doing the wrong thing.

So, I finally told her that my feelings went deeper than friendship, but that I didn't want to lose her friendship, because that was very important to me. I said a lot of things, but those were for her ears only, so I won't repeat them. Her response was that she wanted to try to make things work with her boyfriend, but that she cared very deeply for me, and wanted to remain friends.

Yes, it hurt to hear those words, but I respected her decision and thoughts, and I told her that. I told her that I just needed to let her know how I felt, and that what I said came with no strings attached. I didn't expect her to drop her boyfriend and run to me, I just wanted her to know how I felt. She told me that she had been slowly realizing that she was thinking more about me that her boyfriend, and that I was her best friend and not him, etc.

To make a very long conversation short, we left it that she needed to decide what she wanted to do about her boyfriend, and that I would wait for her decision. Then, if she did end things with her boyfriend, I would still be there, waiting, until she decided whether or not she really wanted to be with me. However, I told her that I didn't know how long I would/could wait.

Then, a funny thing happened. Her boyfriend messed up big time. First, he did something that he promised her he would never do again. And then, he pushed her to talk about things. Long story short again, she broke it off. She had decided that she didn't want to live like that anymore. There are many reasons, but the end result was that she couldn't be with him anymore.

Well, we are approaching the end of my story. With the conversations that we had since I first told her how I felt, I've been getting more and more hints that she really does want to be with me, and I know in my heart that it's only a matter of time before we are together.

Anyway, the point to the story...

Listen to and follow what your heart says, and it will not lead you astray. It might not be an easy path to follow, but it will lead you to happiness.

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Always listen to your heart, for it will never lead you astray.
All bow and cower before the Triumvirate!!!

Great Story and Great Advice!
Thanks for sharing it and Good Luck!
*HUGS*
Moni

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[Sazerac]

Zeeke: I wish you every bit of the best in your relationship. Both you and she sound like very special people. And your advice is very sage. I waited for 10 years for the lady I'm with. I don't regret a moment of it.

Thanks for sharing that.

[MILAMBER]

Wow, it's cool when things work out like that. Good for you man! I hope things work out.

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"The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his."
-General George Patton (1885-1945)

Member of CLAN HADB

[Reeka]

Big Bro!!!

You know how happy I am for you that things are turning out this way. I am just thankful that I could be there for you when you needed someone. Always will be too, Bro.

Love 'ya!
Little Sis

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Order of the Holy Flame
Member of Clan HADB

[Zeeke75]

Thanks, everyone! I'm happy to share.

Saz, I agree. I don't regret a second of waiting, even though it wasn't 10 years (btw, DAMN, i know how hard 2+ months was, I can't imagine 10 years....).

Sis, you're the best. I know you'll be there if I need ya. And same goes for me with you.

I don't know exactly where things are going to go from here, but it certainly does looking promising.

Actually, there is one more thing I'd like to say....THANK YOU to everyone that posted to my "How do you know if it's love?" thread. You guys really helped to solidify my belief in what my heart was telling me. I can't thank you enough.

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Always listen to your heart, for it will never lead you astray.
All bow and cower before the Triumvirate!!!

[This message has been edited by Zeeke75 (edited 06-28-2001).]

[Waluin]

What a great story, bully for you!

I just hope that good fortune embraces me in a similar fashion, but the way life usually treats me I doubt that'll ever be the case. Ah, such is life.

:: sighs and hugs a cat ::



[This message has been edited by Waluin (edited 06-28-2001).]

[Wah]

Fascinating.........truly! I hope all goes well

Still young - but I'll take the advice like gold!



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Zeeke75, man do you got it bad as they say. Have you ever watched an old Star Trek episode where spock had the blood lust thing going on and almost killed the captain to get to his girl...sounds like you have had an experience with the" got it bad thing"..Now lets look at this from a neutral point of veiw.
You have known her for 2 months now on a freindship basis. This is not a very long time. I did not take the proper time to court my first wife, did not know her good, and I was only 21. The blood lust thing..well you already know about that.
I say to you now, that you should ask her out on a formal date. Dont cut yourself off from the rest of the world, freinds, and family. Slow things down a little. Take a cold shower ,re-group, do the things that you like to do.See if she likes the sports or activity's you do...and do them! You can start seeing the real person she is and not the one you or her have been talking about. After some time you will see if it really is love. Only a fool rushes in...that was me at one time ..please don't let it be you..I married my second wife after we dated formerly for 7 months than lived together for 9 months. I still went a little fast but that worked for me. We have been married for 3 years now and things are pretty good. We still love each other and respect one another greatly. We dont always agree and have our differences like any other couple out there.But we agreed to disagree on a nice basis.
Personally, I think that ladies are gifted at finding faults in men.If they want to find one...well..just pick one out. Your friends ex-bf is probably thinking to himself "what the hell just happened".She likes you!Thats what happened. The faults were pointed out, get your nice clothes out of the closet and start dateing her!! Good luck and I hope to god I didn't make anyone mad here.Good luck Zeeke75! Let us know small details, thats what life is all about.

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Conan

[This message has been edited by Conan (edited 06-28-2001).]

[Zeeke75]

Conan,

Boy, do I understand what you are saying. My ex and I only dated for 2 months, and then got engaged. Never really got to know each other, and ended up having a really bad marriage. I don't plan on repeating that. Thank you very much for the advice, and sharing your experience. Your points are duly noted, I promise that. It's good to have reality checks once in awhile. Now, I would like to expand upon some of the things you said...

As far as the current situation, I haven't given up anything in my life. I'm still going out with my friends and doing the things that I like to do. Actually, since I've met her, I've been doing a lot more of that than I ever remember doing, and she encourages me to do it. We've done a lot of talking about what each of us likes to do, etc, and have found out that we have almost identical interests.

I'm not going to ask her out right now, because she just broke up with somebody. We needs some time to deal with and get over that, then we'll see where things are from there. I've already told her that as much as I want to be with her, I'm going to put some serious brakes on things until she's had time alone. We can hint and flirt all we want about being together, but I'm not going to let things go to far to quickly. Not only do I want this to work, but I've also got my beliefs and morals to think about. And right now, doing anything with her than just being her friend would put those in serious jeopardy.

Thanks again for the advice, I will definitely keep it in mind, and I will definitely keep people posted on what happens.

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Always listen to your heart, for it will never lead you astray.
All bow and cower before the Triumvirate!!!