Plans for a 6-year-old marriage...

Sazerac · 10-27-2001, 12:19 AM

A six-year-old boy told his father, "I want to marry the little girl across the street."

The father being modern and well-schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind his hand. "That's a serious step," he said, "Have you thought it out completely?"

"Sure," his young son answered. "We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers. It's right across the street, so I can run home if I get lonely in the night."

"How about transportation?" the father asked.

"I have my wagon and we both have our tricycles," the little boy answered. The boy had an answer to every question the father raised.

Finally, in exasperation, the man asked, "What about babies? When you're married, you're liable to have babies, you know."

"We've thought about that too", the little boy replied. "We're not going to have babies. Every time she lays an egg, I'm going to step on it !!!

------------------

Patience, my BUTT...I'm going to KILL something!!!

Larry_OHF · 10-27-2001, 12:25 AM

That's a good one, Saz! Can't wait to tell my wife in the morning when she wakes up, and I cook eggs for breakfast.

------------------

3rd Member of the Ancient OHF
Diamond Ranger of the ALSB (secretarial position & Ambassador)
Father of the wicked but cute child known as MaryBeth

Padre de una niña bien traviosa pero guapa
---------------------
Aisukuríimu ga tabetái desu.

Nachtrafe · 10-27-2001, 12:32 AM

ROFLMAO!!!!!

Along similiar lines.

************************************************** *******************
HOW TO TAKE A SHOWER

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN

1. Take of all clothing and place it in a sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups.

4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.

5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

6. Wash your hair again to make sure its clean.

7. Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner enhanced with Natural Avocado Oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.

8. Wash your face with Crushed Apricot Facial Scrub for ten minutes until red.

9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.

10. Rinse conditioner off hair(you must make sure that it has all come off).

11. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decided to get it waxed instead.

12. Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you lose water pressure.

13. Turn off the shower.

14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.

15. Get out of the shower. Dry with towel the size of small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.

16. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit. Tweeze hairs.

17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. I you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

18. Spend an hour and a half getting dressed.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed. Leave them in a pile.

2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake Mr Happy at her while making the 'woo-woo' sound.

3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Suck in your gut, and check to see is you have pecs(no). Admire the size of Mr Happy in the mirror and scratch your ass.

4. Get in the shower.

5. Don’t bother to look for a washcloth, you wont use it anyway.

6. Wash your face.

7. Wash your armpits.

8. Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water rinse it off.

9. Crack up at how loud your farts sound in the shower.

10. Spend the majority of your time washing Mr Happy and his two buddies.

11. Wash your butt, leaving coarse butt hairs on the soap bar.

12. Shampoo your hair. Conditioner?? HAH!

13. Make a shampoo Mohawk.

14. Peek out of shower curtain and look at yourself in the mirror again.

15. Pee...in the shower.

16. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time.

17. Partially dry off.

18. Look at yourself in the mirror. Flex Muscles. Admire the size of My Happy again.

19. leave shower curtain open, and wet bath mat on the floor.

20. Leave bathroom light and fan on.

21. Return to the bedroom with wet towel around your waist. If you pass your wife, pull off the towel, shake Mr Happy at her, and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

22. Throw the wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get dressed.

------------------
"In Memorium of those who are gone, and all those that bought our freedom with their hearts blood!"

"May the Colors of Liberty never run"

Sazerac · 10-27-2001, 12:38 AM

Ghe-e-e-ehhhk....I look at that and wonder how most average men and women ever manage to GET married, much less STAY that way!

Good one, Nachtrafe!

------------------

Patience, my BUTT...I'm going to KILL something!!!

Lifetime · 10-27-2001, 04:24 AM

LOL! Great stuff! True too!

------------------
No-Name Face

Moiraine · 10-27-2001, 05:06 AM

Nachtrafe, I can't wait to hear Clouddy's reaction ...

------------------

The world is my oyster !

Moiraine · 10-27-2001, 05:20 PM

* BUMP BUMP* for Clouddy !

------------------

The world is my oyster !

DiabloRex · 10-27-2001, 06:58 PM

*helps Moiraine bump*

10-27-2001, 07:04 PM

Nice one Sazerac ! I think we should officially dub you the 'king-of-laffs' here at Ironworks

------------------

Formidable Flirty Fishy Sorcerer of the HADB

Istaron · 10-27-2001, 07:10 PM

Gotta add a step to How men shower. Between #8 and #9.

"Laugh hystericly when doing a BIG fart in the shower. Calm down, but begin again when the smell reaches your face"

Thank you

------------------
We call him Bobby Corwen

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10-27-2001, 12:19 AM	#1
Sazerac Ironworks Moderator Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Monroe, LA Age: 60 Posts: 7,387	A six-year-old boy told his father, "I want to marry the little girl across the street." The father being modern and well-schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind his hand. "That's a serious step," he said, "Have you thought it out completely?" "Sure," his young son answered. "We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers. It's right across the street, so I can run home if I get lonely in the night." "How about transportation?" the father asked. "I have my wagon and we both have our tricycles," the little boy answered. The boy had an answer to every question the father raised. Finally, in exasperation, the man asked, "What about babies? When you're married, you're liable to have babies, you know." "We've thought about that too", the little boy replied. "We're not going to have babies. Every time she lays an egg, I'm going to step on it !!! ------------------ *Patience, my BUTT...I'm going to KILL something!!!*

10-27-2001, 12:25 AM	#2
Larry_OHF Ironworks Moderator Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Midlands, South Carolina Age: 48 Posts: 14,759	That's a good one, Saz! Can't wait to tell my wife in the morning when she wakes up, and I cook eggs for breakfast. ------------------ 3rd Member of the Ancient OHF Diamond Ranger of the ALSB (secretarial position & Ambassador) Father of the wicked but cute child known as MaryBeth Padre de una niña bien traviosa pero guapa --------------------- Aisukuríimu ga tabetái desu.

10-27-2001, 12:32 AM	#3
Nachtrafe Red Wizard of Thay Join Date: August 9, 2001 Location: Upstate NY, USA Age: 51 Posts: 889	ROFLMAO!!!!! Along similiar lines. ************************************************ ***************** HOW TO TAKE A SHOWER HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN 1. Take of all clothing and place it in a sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups. 4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone. 5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 6. Wash your hair again to make sure its clean. 7. Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner enhanced with Natural Avocado Oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes. 8. Wash your face with Crushed Apricot Facial Scrub for ten minutes until red. 9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash. 10. Rinse conditioner off hair(you must make sure that it has all come off). 11. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decided to get it waxed instead. 12. Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you lose water pressure. 13. Turn off the shower. 14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. 15. Get out of the shower. Dry with towel the size of small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel. 16. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit. Tweeze hairs. 17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. I you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 18. Spend an hour and a half getting dressed. HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN 1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed. Leave them in a pile. 2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake Mr Happy at her while making the 'woo-woo' sound. 3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Suck in your gut, and check to see is you have pecs(no). Admire the size of Mr Happy in the mirror and scratch your ass. 4. Get in the shower. 5. Don’t bother to look for a washcloth, you wont use it anyway. 6. Wash your face. 7. Wash your armpits. 8. Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water rinse it off. 9. Crack up at how loud your farts sound in the shower. 10. Spend the majority of your time washing Mr Happy and his two buddies. 11. Wash your butt, leaving coarse butt hairs on the soap bar. 12. Shampoo your hair. Conditioner?? HAH! 13. Make a shampoo Mohawk. 14. Peek out of shower curtain and look at yourself in the mirror again. 15. Pee...in the shower. 16. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time. 17. Partially dry off. 18. Look at yourself in the mirror. Flex Muscles. Admire the size of My Happy again. 19. leave shower curtain open, and wet bath mat on the floor. 20. Leave bathroom light and fan on. 21. Return to the bedroom with wet towel around your waist. If you pass your wife, pull off the towel, shake Mr Happy at her, and make the 'woo-woo' sound again. 22. Throw the wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get dressed. ------------------ "In Memorium of those who are gone, and all those that bought our freedom with their hearts blood!" "May the Colors of Liberty never run"

10-27-2001, 12:38 AM	#4
Sazerac Ironworks Moderator Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Monroe, LA Age: 60 Posts: 7,387	Ghe-e-e-ehhhk....I look at that and wonder how most average men and women ever manage to GET married, much less STAY that way! Good one, Nachtrafe! ------------------ *Patience, my BUTT...I'm going to KILL something!!!*

10-27-2001, 04:24 AM	#5
Lifetime Red Dragon Join Date: March 3, 2001 Location: Scotch College, Melbourne Posts: 1,503	LOL! Great stuff! True too! ------------------ No-Name Face

10-27-2001, 05:06 AM	#6
Moiraine Anubis Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Up in the Freedomland Alps Age: 59 Posts: 2,474	Nachtrafe, I can't wait to hear Clouddy's reaction ... ------------------ The world is my oyster !

10-27-2001, 05:20 PM	#7
Moiraine Anubis Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Up in the Freedomland Alps Age: 59 Posts: 2,474	* BUMP BUMP* for Clouddy ! ------------------ The world is my oyster !

10-27-2001, 06:58 PM	#8
DiabloRex Elminster Join Date: July 2, 2001 Location: Denmark Posts: 460	helps Moiraine bump

10-27-2001, 07:04 PM	#9
Sorcerer Alex Guest Posts: n/a	Nice one Sazerac ! I think we should officially dub you the 'king-of-laffs' here at Ironworks ------------------ Formidable Flirty Fishy Sorcerer of the HADB

10-27-2001, 07:10 PM	#10
Istaron Banned User Join Date: June 16, 2001 Location: Uppland Posts: 711	Gotta add a step to How men shower. Between #8 and #9. "Laugh hystericly when doing a BIG fart in the shower. Calm down, but begin again when the smell reaches your face" Thank you ------------------ We call him Bobby Corwen

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