a romantic question nonetheless - Page 2

Bahamut · 06-04-2001, 02:04 AM

ahh... that sux RD...

but amen to you brotha!!(Writes notes in his notebook ;D)

------------------

You know what happened. We are ONE, WE ARE, ahh.. er... I AM ...wehehehe and... Stay ahead of the Avalanche or risk being buried...

adam warlock · 06-04-2001, 02:06 AM

wish I knew...

still single

kiwidoc · 06-04-2001, 02:33 AM

Well I am sad to say the little things count - things like making himself a cup of coffee and not getting me a cup of tea; walking in when I am reading and turning on the telly volume way up; leaving all the bills etc for me; blaming me when his clothes aren't washed but they are under his bed; finding the copy of my latest short story I gave to him to give to his paremts crumpled on the floor and used as scratch paper; losing his PIN numbers 6 times running so he CANT handle the finances when we are on holiday; refusing to talk to me or the dog for hours when his PC crashes; if the dog barks loud enough at night to wake him but not me screaming and throwing things at Max loud enough to not only wake me up but get the adrenaline flowing so much no way can I sleep for hours; refusing to admit he can't do the networking between our PCs so he has a printer and cable access but I don't; telling every ine he made his own web site when I did it; not bothering to look at the new version of my web site ... etc, etc, etc......

Sad and sh***** line up isn't it.

------------------
There is only one kiwidoc, accept no substitutes

STANDARD OPERATING PROCEEDURE
www.judyhope.co.uk

06-04-2001, 03:22 AM

Trust, respect and honesty are the foundation for any good relationship...you destroy one and the rest crumble...with these things intact, you don't really need the little things at all, although they make for excellent maintenance techniques. The little things are building blocks toward them and polish to keep them in good condition.

Little things lead to bigger things and an overall better relationship. For some reason, there is more trust and ease with a person who will take time out to acknowledge your presence.

If I have enough of the little things, I wouldn't want the bigger things.

Lack of the smaller nice-ities in a relationship (even if it is just a light intentional touch as he/she passes you on their way elsewhere) can make a lot of difference in how lonely the other person feels or how much they are willing to give back.

Currently single, and living in the same house with my ex at the same time, if I find myself missing those little things, the bigger things (dinners, movies, shopping, etc.) don't make up for it.

I have had a discussion about this with my him but it appears that the action he has taken beyond all the agreeing with me during the conversation proves he could care less so we remain just friends. Good friends, but deep down, I need those little intimate gestures if we are ever going to move forward.

Mind you, crossing a line where some big things are involved (i.e. lack of respect as in not letting the other person speak in their defense when verbally attacked in front of the other person's family members) can really take a good thing in a backward direction and keep it there for a while, if not ruin it altogether. (If I had been at fault to begin with, perhaps I could understand, but it was a no-fault situation and I was doing my best to repair it.)

Do I sound confused and lonely? LOL I don't feel like I am but this pairing, as a relationship certainly has become so.

Moni

------------------

06-04-2001, 03:47 AM

In a word... yes

------------------
In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is pimp.
http://lordraptor0.tripod.com/index.html

kiwidoc · 06-04-2001, 04:26 AM

Moni it sounds like you and me are pretty much in the same boat, an dits a really s*** boat to be in.

Want a big, warm, comforting hug?

Donut · 06-04-2001, 05:57 AM

As the song says:

Blow me a kiss from across the room,
Say I look nice when I'm not,
Touch my hair as you pass my chair;
Little things mean a lot,

Kneel with me at the side of the bed
Call me at six on the dot
A line a day when you're far away
Little things mean a lot

Give me the warmth of a secret smile
To show me you haven't forgot
That always and ever, now and forever
Little things mean a lot.

------------------

Save Chip - Don't let Sarah win!
Official Titterer of the Laughing Hyenas

Wulfere · 06-04-2001, 07:48 AM

I did the little things...I wasn't enough
I felt all the things I should have...it wasn't enough
I told her all the things I should have...it wasn't enough
19 years flushed away...and I would do it again. Because once it was enough.
Those were wonderful times. That is what I remember.
The pain is gone and life moves you along so fast, so fast you barely notice
whats happened and how far you have come. The pain is gone.
I have moved on...and the little things are enough.

------------------

Charean · 06-04-2001, 08:09 AM

Had to post... going through a divorce and all...

Yes, Rude Dawg... I hear ya. Believe me.

The little things do mean a lot... it is when you stop doing things together, and stop enjoying each other's company - stop talking about things, whether large or small... watching a relationship that was very tight slowly slip into roommates... and then you are leading separate lives. Yes, we grew apart over several months and didn't see it happen till it was too late. I needed to go in one direction and he, another.

At least we are parting amicably and wishing each other well... it could be worse.

To answer your question, Bahamut, everything matters. The big and the small. The small can errode or build a strong foundation...but the most important thing is trust. For without trust, you don't talk. And communication is paramount.

------------------

Defender for the Light -
Goodness knows there is a lot of Dark out there!! - Where are my matches?!?
Wandering Soul - Finding my life's calling is Bodhisattva
Looking for lost brain - I left it only for a moment....and there it goes... rolling under the table!!
Noticing that the Light has gotten further down a Dark Tunnel than expected... Time to get the Lantern... Knowing sooner or later - I will get to the End of this Tunnel to the Open Air once again...

06-04-2001, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by kiwidoc:
Moni it sounds like you and me are pretty much in the same boat, an dits a really s*** boat to be in.

Want a big, warm, comforting hug?

kiwidoc,
Thanks for the hug and I return one to you!

It ain't so bad here with emotional ties so severed, he just pisses me off on days like today when we make plans (as friends) and two days later he is still putting it off until tomorrow. I hate my time being wasted.

Moni

------------------

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06-04-2001, 02:04 AM	#11
Bahamut Iron Throne Cult Join Date: March 12, 2001 Location: Manila, Philippines Age: 39 Posts: 4,864	ahh... that sux RD... but amen to you brotha!!(Writes notes in his notebook ;D) ------------------ You know what happened. We are ONE, WE ARE, ahh.. er... I AM ...wehehehe and... Stay ahead of the Avalanche or risk being buried...

06-04-2001, 02:06 AM	#12
adam warlock Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: I live inside of my mind..... Age: 53 Posts: 3,234	wish I knew... still single

06-04-2001, 02:33 AM	#13
kiwidoc Zhentarim Guard Join Date: May 31, 2001 Location: UK Posts: 385	Well I am sad to say the little things count - things like making himself a cup of coffee and not getting me a cup of tea; walking in when I am reading and turning on the telly volume way up; leaving all the bills etc for me; blaming me when his clothes aren't washed but they are under his bed; finding the copy of my latest short story I gave to him to give to his paremts crumpled on the floor and used as scratch paper; losing his PIN numbers 6 times running so he CANT handle the finances when we are on holiday; refusing to talk to me or the dog for hours when his PC crashes; if the dog barks loud enough at night to wake him but not me screaming and throwing things at Max loud enough to not only wake me up but get the adrenaline flowing so much no way can I sleep for hours; refusing to admit he can't do the networking between our PCs so he has a printer and cable access but I don't; telling every ine he made his own web site when I did it; not bothering to look at the new version of my web site ... etc, etc, etc...... Sad and sh***** line up isn't it. ------------------ There is only one kiwidoc, accept no substitutes STANDARD OPERATING PROCEEDURE www.judyhope.co.uk

06-04-2001, 03:22 AM	#14
Moni Guest Posts: n/a	Trust, respect and honesty are the foundation for any good relationship...you destroy one and the rest crumble...with these things intact, you don't really need the little things at all, although they make for excellent maintenance techniques. The little things are building blocks toward them and polish to keep them in good condition. Little things lead to bigger things and an overall better relationship. For some reason, there is more trust and ease with a person who will take time out to acknowledge your presence. If I have enough of the little things, I wouldn't want the bigger things. Lack of the smaller nice-ities in a relationship (even if it is just a light intentional touch as he/she passes you on their way elsewhere) can make a lot of difference in how lonely the other person feels or how much they are willing to give back. Currently single, and living in the same house with my ex at the same time, if I find myself missing those little things, the bigger things (dinners, movies, shopping, etc.) don't make up for it. I have had a discussion about this with my him but it appears that the action he has taken beyond all the agreeing with me during the conversation proves he could care less so we remain just friends. Good friends, but deep down, I need those little intimate gestures if we are ever going to move forward. Mind you, crossing a line where some big things are involved (i.e. lack of respect as in not letting the other person speak in their defense when verbally attacked in front of the other person's family members) can really take a good thing in a backward direction and keep it there for a while, if not ruin it altogether. (If I had been at fault to begin with, perhaps I could understand, but it was a no-fault situation and I was doing my best to repair it.) Do I sound confused and lonely? LOL I don't feel like I am but this pairing, as a relationship certainly has become so. Moni ------------------

06-04-2001, 03:47 AM	#15
Lord Shield Guest Posts: n/a	In a word... yes ------------------ In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is pimp. http://lordraptor0.tripod.com/index.html

06-04-2001, 04:26 AM	#16
kiwidoc Zhentarim Guard Join Date: May 31, 2001 Location: UK Posts: 385	Moni it sounds like you and me are pretty much in the same boat, an dits a really s*** boat to be in. Want a big, warm, comforting hug?

06-04-2001, 05:57 AM	#17
Donut Jack Burton Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Airstrip One Age: 40 Posts: 5,571	As the song says: Blow me a kiss from across the room, Say I look nice when I'm not, Touch my hair as you pass my chair; Little things mean a lot, Kneel with me at the side of the bed Call me at six on the dot A line a day when you're far away Little things mean a lot Give me the warmth of a secret smile To show me you haven't forgot That always and ever, now and forever Little things mean a lot. ------------------ Save Chip - Don't let Sarah win! Official Titterer of the Laughing Hyenas

06-04-2001, 07:48 AM	#18
Wulfere Red Wizard of Thay Join Date: March 20, 2001 Location: Lincoln, Nebraska USA Age: 63 Posts: 893	I did the little things...I wasn't enough I felt all the things I should have...it wasn't enough I told her all the things I should have...it wasn't enough 19 years flushed away...and I would do it again. Because once it was enough. Those were wonderful times. That is what I remember. The pain is gone and life moves you along so fast, so fast you barely notice whats happened and how far you have come. The pain is gone. I have moved on...and the little things are enough. ------------------

06-04-2001, 08:09 AM	#19
Charean Hathor Join Date: March 6, 2001 Location: Waxahachie, TX Age: 60 Posts: 2,201	Had to post... going through a divorce and all... Yes, Rude Dawg... I hear ya. Believe me. The little things do mean a lot... it is when you stop doing things together, and stop enjoying each other's company - stop talking about things, whether large or small... watching a relationship that was very tight slowly slip into roommates... and then you are leading separate lives. Yes, we grew apart over several months and didn't see it happen till it was too late. I needed to go in one direction and he, another. At least we are parting amicably and wishing each other well... it could be worse. To answer your question, Bahamut, everything matters. The big and the small. The small can errode or build a strong foundation...but the most important thing is trust. For without trust, you don't talk. And communication is paramount. ------------------ Defender for the Light - Goodness knows there is a lot of Dark out there!! - Where are my matches?!? Wandering Soul - Finding my life's calling is Bodhisattva Looking for lost brain - I left it only for a moment....and there it goes... rolling under the table!! Noticing that the Light has gotten further down a Dark Tunnel than expected... Time to get the Lantern... Knowing sooner or later - I will get to the End of this Tunnel to the Open Air once again...

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