One Liner Derangements

[John D Harris]

One liners
1. Jesse Jackson, Jim Baker, and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book ... It's called: "Ministers Do More Than Lay People."

2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary!

3. The difference between the Pope and your boss. The Pope only expects
you to kiss his ring.

4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.

5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in
the bathroom.

6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once, the seat folded up, the drink spilled, and that ice really chilled the mood.

7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course,
there's shipping and handling too.

8. A husband is someone who after taking the trash out gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.

9. My next house will have no kitchen---just vending machines and alarge trash can.

10. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn-signal fluid."

11. I'm so depressed... My doctor refused to write me a prescription
for Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a
condemned building.

[Ronn_Bman]

Too funny, especially "sex in the movies"

[WillowIX]

LLAO! Great jokes John! [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img]