The horrors of bullying...

[slicer15]

I just heard on the news that an 11 year-old boy took his life by overdosing on painkillers because people bullied him at school for being clever! Can you believe that? The poor guy had his entire life ruined by bullying, and thought it was best to take it. Man, stuff like this really agravates me. I hope the people responsible actually feel responsible. His poor parents...

I apologize for not providing an article, I only heard it on the radio this morning, and it isn't big enough for an online article I don't think. Trust me, it happened...

[The Hierophant]

His parents must be distraught. Hurts to be them...
He must have had incredible resolve though, for an 11 year old to go through with a suicide, remarkable.

[slicer15]

Originally posted by The Hierophant: His parents must be distraught. Hurts to be them... He must have had incredible resolve though, for an 11 year old to go through with a suicide, remarkable.

It also shows that the bullying must have been bad. I mean, I probably didn't know what suicide meant when I was 11. And I hope the bullies realize what they've done and how much pain they've caused. But it also makes you think, why wasn't anything done? I think they said he did complain a little...

[The Hierophant]

Originally posted by slicer15: It also shows that the bullying must have been bad. I mean, I probably didn't know what suicide meant when I was 11. And I hope the bullies realize what they've done and how much pain they've caused. But it also makes you think, why wasn't anything done? I think they said he did complain a little...

Yeah, kids do complain some. But it can be hard to distinguish between genuine bullying and some little tyke merely 'telling tales' so to speak. We'd really need to hear the official lowdown on this story before we can cast any real judgement as to what 'should have been done'. Either way, this little guy is never going to find out for himself that things are never as bad as they seem. Ah well, more likely than not he's in a better place, getting some long-overdue peace it would seem.

[Zero Alpha]

Originally posted by The Hierophant: Yeah, kids do complain some. But it can be hard to distinguish between genuine bullying and some little tyke merely 'telling tales' so to speak. We'd really need to hear the official lowdown on this story before we can cast any real judgement as to what 'should have been done'. Either way, this little guy is never going to find out for himself that things are never as bad as they seem. Ah well, more likely than not he's in a better place, getting some long-overdue peace it would seem.

i cannot belive the bullying could be as bad as to drive someone to suicide, and nobody notice. surely if he took his own life thats proves he was bullied, but someone should have noticed before hand [img]graemlins/saywhat.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/madhell.gif[/img] i find it hard to accept anyone is that hartless as to bully somone that much. it really sickends me to see that side of humanity [img]graemlins/saywhat.gif[/img]

[Kakero]

sad that one life has lost because of bullying, well the kid could have told someone about it and this matter could have been properly resolved. gee..

[The Hunter of Jahanna]

originaly by : slicer15

Man, stuff like this really agravates me. I hope the people responsible actually feel responsible. His poor parents

You hit the nail on the head,IMHO his parents ARE partly responsible for this. How did they not notice that their child was depressed all the time. Why did they leave pain killers within easy reach of a child. Also why didnt they teach their child to stand up for himself?? The poor kid who killed himself was probably never given the tools or skills to stick up for himself and make the bullying stop. When I was a wee tyke , if someone realy bullyed you busted his lip open. After that the bullying stopped and half the time you became friends with your former bully. Nowadays kids are bombarded from preschool with messages that hitting is wrong, so instead of getting into a fight they come to school with a shotgun or get all kinds of psychological problems. If you have ever read "Lord of the Flies" , we are raising a nation of kids who act like "Piggy". Unfortunately, they are easy prey for the "Jacks" of the world who want to drop stones on their heads.

[Melusine]

Originally posted by slicer15: I apologize for not providing an article, I only heard it on the radio this morning, and it isn't big enough for an online article I don't think. Trust me, it happened...

It was in my paper today, Slicer.
What a sad story - poor kid. Of course we don't know the whole situation - how bad the bullying was, how his home situation was, if the child was prone to feeling low anyway. Whatever lead him to suicide, I'm sure he could have been helped. Poor little guy, feeling desperate enough to think he couldn't be helped.
Hunter - bullying is also very common in certain jobs. A lot of adults get bullied at work and while I do believe it might be a specific type of person that gets picked on, I truly doubt it's as easy as "sticking up for yourself" to make it stop. I don't suppose you think adults should start busting eachother's lips open at work too, or do you?
I think it's pretty sad that even adults can be bullies...

[The Hunter of Jahanna]

I don't suppose you think adults should start busting eachother's lips open at work too, or do you? I think it's pretty sad that even adults can be bullies..

unfortunately , I do think that past a certain point adults should bust each other up as well. It is one thing if you work a job where everyone teases and picks on everyone else. That can be just a harmless way of blowing off a little steam with your co-workers. If it gets out of hand ,just saying something will usualy fix it. It is another thing entirely if you are singled out and tormented day after day. Most of the time, with people like that, a civilized "Hey thats not acceptable/funny" doesnt work. In a situation like that you can either try to get your tormentor fired, quit yourself, or bust his lip.
Talking is a great way to solve problems, but not all problems can be solved by talking. When you try to talk to someone you must assume that they are resonable and smart enough to take it to heart. Past a certain point talking is useless and a diffrent tactic has to be applied.

[ 07-04-2003, 11:56 AM: Message edited by: The Hunter of Jahanna ]

[Cerek the Barbaric]

Melusine - I'll have to agree with Hunter on this issue. Bullies generally fall into two categories: 1) they have an inferiority complex themselves, so they pick on kids smaller and weaker to make themselves feel "big", or 2) they are just a$$holes - plain and simple - who like to shove other people around.

In either case, the LAST thing they expect (or want) is for their victim to turn around and bust them in the mouth. Once you stand up to a bully, he/she knows that you are no longer an "easy target". As Hunter said, you often end up becoming friends with them, because the bully now has a new-found respect for you. Of course, this doesn't work every time and you certainly have to choose your battles carefully.

I was very small all through school and I was "picked on" by bullies many times. I didn't have the size or strength to stand up to them, so I had to endure a lot. I learned other ways to deal with them. One method that worked for me was to tell a mutual friend that I wasn't go to fight the person because I knew he could kick my a$$ and I didn't need to actually get the bruises to prove it. That worked in a couple of cases....but looking back now, I can see there were a couple of times I should have just knocked the ever-lovin' daylights out of bully.

Because I never stood my ground in high school, it has made it hard for me to do it as an adult too. I still struggle with standing up for myself (ain't that a shock [img]graemlins/wow.gif[/img] ) and I really don't like to have confrontations. Now I realize there were a couple of times when I should have thrown the first punch and then just took my lumps - or hopefully give them out. Even if I had lost, I would have had more respect for myself afterwards.

As for adult bullies on the job...absolutely, you should bust their lip... IF it can be done without jeapordizing your job (maybe catch them way from work ). I had a coworker at my former job that decided he didn't like me for whatever reason, and he went out of his way to be a total jerk everyday. I put up with it as long as I could, then I finally went to the boss about it. That eased the problem temporarily, but it didn't last. So I would go to the boss to report each new incident as it occurred. I was afraid of a physical confrontation because I didn't want to lose my job {and the boss had said before that if there was ever a fight in his department, BOTH people would be fired with no questions asked}. But it eventually got to the point that going to the boss wasn't doing any good any more. So I went into his office one last time and told him "This is the last time I'm bringing this problem to you. The next time he does something, I'm gonna take care of it myself." That was the last time I had a problem with him. Fortunately, it didn't have to come to blows, but it did come very close..and I was serious about taking care of business myself. This guy and I got in a heated argument one day and almost came to blows that time. He was bigger and stronger than me (aren't they always [img]graemlins/dontknowaboutyou.gif[/img] ) and I didn't know if I would come out on top or not...but I was gonna make sure he knew he had been in a fight before it was over with.

It's like Olivian Newton John once sang....sometimes, you just have to Get Physical!