General useless magic items inventory

The Collective · 07-17-2002, 08:29 PM

The Bots of Nasty Taffer - these Boots meuk yu speuk luke thus

Boots of Speed - only you've got two left ones (sorry, forgot to remove the feet)

One Boot of Speed and one of Elvenkind - makes you run in circles really fast and really quietly

The Bard's Lute - The artist's Dream - makes you an exquisite corpse. (will kill you, but makes you look good while doing it - Bluff check!!!)

The Realistically sized Boots - they never come in the right size

Lefthanded broadsword - only usable by righthanded characters

Armour of Speed - red go-faster stripes down the side

Improved sword of Fire - with a burning handle - doubles as cigarette lighter

Hand of the Bard - attracts all electricity in a 100' radius for a nice OJ haircut

Robes of Invisibility - we've got lots but we can't find them

Armour of Flossy +2 - attracts all ovines in the area
- comes with velcro gauntlets and green wellies. Only usable by the following kits: Welshman and Kiwi

[ 07-17-2002, 08:31 PM: Message edited by: The Collective ]

johnny · 07-17-2002, 08:33 PM

ROTFLMAO [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img]

The Collective · 07-17-2002, 08:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by johnny:
ROTFLMAO [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img]

Sorry but that isn't a magic item, it is cursed. How easy do you think it would be to manage without an arse?

Ladyzekke · 07-17-2002, 08:46 PM

Snicker! Boots of Tripping - Causes wearer to stumble and Avoid Enemies, Dexterity 19, improved Critical Hit, -5 Constitution penalty.

Only 25,000 Gps, will trade for a decent Overalls of Alcohol.

The Collective · 07-17-2002, 08:52 PM

Robe of Flatulence +2, available in any colour as long as it's red.

Monk Robes of Chan, sadly Charlie, not Jackie.

AzRaeL StoRmBlaDe · 07-17-2002, 08:52 PM

How about some kind of singing sword of backstreet: only sings Boy Band Tunes.
the magical slippers of oil: allows the wearer to always walk as if the ground is as slick as an oiled up slip and slide.
The Eye Of Gargamel: allows one to see as gargamel does, unfortunately he was blind.

The Collective · 07-17-2002, 08:55 PM

Tentacles of Groping +5, unfortunately still attached to original owner.

Willard · 07-17-2002, 08:55 PM

Boots of Grounding- they send you to your room roght away.

50% off boots of nastiness- filled with al the nasty stuff you can think of: mother in-laws, next door neighbors, slugs, etc.
only half off the never-before-used price of 13456 gp!

Belt of Mermaidman-shrinks all your enemies, at the low price of 12234 gp!
(p.s- nobody knows how to work it)

Cloak of Spam- instantly creates many fun-filled posts for you, such as "hi", "sup?" and "lol", without you lifting a finger! Gradually transforms you into a different rank! Half off! (previous price: 198 trillion gp)

Ladyzekke · 07-17-2002, 08:57 PM

ROTFL Willard!

Ladyzekke · 07-17-2002, 09:03 PM

Bottle of Firey Explosions - Must uncap 50 feet away, only two trolls toes, no refunds..

07-17-2002, 08:29 PM	#1
The Collective Manshoon Join Date: July 14, 2002 Location: Table of Doom, somewhere near the European Alps. Posts: 196	The Bots of Nasty Taffer - these Boots meuk yu speuk luke thus Boots of Speed - only you've got two left ones (sorry, forgot to remove the feet) One Boot of Speed and one of Elvenkind - makes you run in circles really fast and really quietly The Bard's Lute - The artist's Dream - makes you an exquisite corpse. (will kill you, but makes you look good while doing it - Bluff check!!!) The Realistically sized Boots - they never come in the right size Lefthanded broadsword - only usable by righthanded characters Armour of Speed - red go-faster stripes down the side Improved sword of Fire - with a burning handle - doubles as cigarette lighter Hand of the Bard - attracts all electricity in a 100' radius for a nice OJ haircut Robes of Invisibility - we've got lots but we can't find them Armour of Flossy +2 - attracts all ovines in the area - comes with velcro gauntlets and green wellies. Only usable by the following kits: Welshman and Kiwi [ 07-17-2002, 08:31 PM: Message edited by: The Collective ] __________________ I am Dyslexia of Borg, prepare to have your ass laminated.

07-17-2002, 08:33 PM	#2
johnny 40th Level Warrior Join Date: April 15, 2002 Location: Utrecht The Netherlands Age: 58 Posts: 16,981	ROTFLMAO [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img] __________________

07-17-2002, 08:46 PM	#4
Ladyzekke Ironworks Atomic Moderator Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Virginia, U.S.A. Age: 57 Posts: 9,005	Snicker! Boots of Tripping - Causes wearer to stumble and Avoid Enemies, Dexterity 19, improved Critical Hit, -5 Constitution penalty. Only 25,000 Gps, will trade for a decent Overalls of Alcohol. __________________ Reality Show Recaps

07-17-2002, 08:52 PM	#5
The Collective Manshoon Join Date: July 14, 2002 Location: Table of Doom, somewhere near the European Alps. Posts: 196	Robe of Flatulence +2, available in any colour as long as it's red. Monk Robes of Chan, sadly Charlie, not Jackie. __________________ I am Dyslexia of Borg, prepare to have your ass laminated.

07-17-2002, 08:52 PM	#6
AzRaeL StoRmBlaDe Hathor Join Date: October 11, 2001 Location: At My Computer Age: 43 Posts: 2,217	How about some kind of singing sword of backstreet: only sings Boy Band Tunes. the magical slippers of oil: allows the wearer to always walk as if the ground is as slick as an oiled up slip and slide. The Eye Of Gargamel: allows one to see as gargamel does, unfortunately he was blind. __________________ Now the swinging bridge<br />Is quieted with creepers. . . <br />Like our tendrilled life. -Basho

07-17-2002, 08:55 PM	#7
The Collective Manshoon Join Date: July 14, 2002 Location: Table of Doom, somewhere near the European Alps. Posts: 196	Tentacles of Groping +5, unfortunately still attached to original owner. __________________ I am Dyslexia of Borg, prepare to have your ass laminated.

07-17-2002, 08:55 PM	#8
Willard Fzoul Chembryl Join Date: June 14, 2001 Location: Vermont Age: 32 Posts: 1,752	Boots of Grounding- they send you to your room roght away. 50% off boots of nastiness- filled with al the nasty stuff you can think of: mother in-laws, next door neighbors, slugs, etc. only half off the never-before-used price of 13456 gp! Belt of Mermaidman-shrinks all your enemies, at the low price of 12234 gp! (p.s- nobody knows how to work it) Cloak of Spam- instantly creates many fun-filled posts for you, such as "hi", "sup?" and "lol", without you lifting a finger! Gradually transforms you into a different rank! Half off! (previous price: 198 trillion gp) __________________

07-17-2002, 08:57 PM	#9
Ladyzekke Ironworks Atomic Moderator Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Virginia, U.S.A. Age: 57 Posts: 9,005	ROTFL Willard! __________________ Reality Show Recaps

07-17-2002, 09:03 PM	#10
Ladyzekke Ironworks Atomic Moderator Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Virginia, U.S.A. Age: 57 Posts: 9,005	Bottle of Firey Explosions - Must uncap 50 feet away, only two trolls toes, no refunds.. __________________ Reality Show Recaps

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