Silly Song

[skywalker]

For some odd reason, this song was running through my mind on my way home from errands today. And I have to share the lyrics:

ARTIST: Tom Lehrer
TITLE: Poisoning Pigeons In the Park

Spring is here, a-suh-puh-ring is here
Life is skittles and life is beer
I think the loveliest time of the year is the spring
I do, don't you, of course you do
But there's one thing that makes spring complete for me
And makes every Sunday a treat for me

All the world seems in tune
On a spring afternoon
When we're poisoning pigeons in the park
Every Sunday you'll see
My sweetheart and me
As we poison the pigeons in the park

When they see us coming, the birdies all try and hide
But they still go for peanuts when coated with cyanide
The sun's shining bright
Everything seems all right
When we're poisoning pigeons in the park
La la, dum de da da da doo deedeedee

We've gained notoriety and caused much anxiety
In the Audubon Society with our games
They call it impiety and lack of propriety
And quite a variety of unpleasant names
But it's not against any religion
To want to dispose of a pigeon

So if Sunday you're free
Why don't you come with me
And we'll poison the pigeons in the park
And maybe we'll do
In a squirrel or two
While we're poisoning pigeons in the park

We'll murder them all amid laughter and merriment
Except for the few we take home to experiment
My pulse will be quickenin' with each drop of strych-a-nin'
We feed to a pigeon
It just takes a smidgen
To poison a pigeon in the park


(Apologies to all pigeon and squirrel lovers!)




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Still The Most Humbly Prideful (?) Member Of The Illuminati!

Mark

[MILAMBER]

He's great!! Did you know he used to be a math professor? I love "The New Math" and "The Vattican Rag".

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"The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his."
-General George Patton (1885-1945)

Member of CLAN HADB

[skywalker]

Originally posted by MILAMBER: He's great!! Did you know he used to be a math professor? I love "The New Math" and "The Vattican Rag".

Love the Vatican Rag, too!

ARTIST: Tom Lehrer
TITLE: The Vatican Rag

First you get down on your knees
Fiddle with your rosaries
Bow your head with great respect
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect

Do whatever steps you want if
You have cleared them with the Pontiff
Everybody say his own kyrie eleison
Doin' the Vatican Rag

Get in line in that processional
Step into that small confessional
There, the guy who's got religion'll
Tell you if your sin's original

If it is, try playin' it safer
Drink the wine and chew the wafer
Two, four, six, eight
Time to transubstantiate

So get down upon your knees
Fiddle with your rosaries
Bow your head with great respect
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect

Make a cross on your abdomen
When in Rome do like a Roman
Ave Maria, gee it's good to see ya
Gettin' ecstatic an' sorta dramatic an'
Doin' the Vatican Rag

I have not heard "New Math" though:

ARTIST: Tom Lehrer
TITLE: New Math

You can't take three from two
Two is less than three
So you look at the four in the tens place
Now that's really four tens
So you make it three tens
Regroup, and you change a ten to ten ones
And you add them to the two and get twelve
And you take away three, that's nine
Is that clear?

Now instead of four in the tens place
You've got three
'Cause you added one
That is to say, ten, to the two
But you can't take seven from three
So you look in the hundreds place

From the three you then use one
To make ten tens
And you know why four plus minus one
Plus ten is fourteen minus one
'Cause addition is commutative, right?
And so you've got thirteen tens
And you take away seven
And that leaves five

Well, six actually
But the idea is the important thing

Now go back to the hundreds place
And you're left with two
And you take away one from two
And that leaves

Everybody get one?
Not bad for the first day

Hooray for new math
New-hoo-hoo-math
It won't do you a bit of good to review math
It's so simple
So very simple
That only a child can do it

Now actually, that is not the answer that I had in mind because the
book that I got this problem out of wants you to do it in base eight.
But don't panic. Base eight is just like base ten really, if you're
missing two fingers. Shall we have a go at it? Hang on...

You can't take three from two
Two is less than three
So you look at the four in the eights place
Now that's really four eights
So you make it three eights
Regroup, and you change an eight to eight ones
And you add them to the two
And you get one-two base eight
Which is ten base ten
And you take away three, that's seven
OK?

Now instead of four in the eights place
You've got three
'Cause you added one
That is to say, eight, to the two
But you can't take seven from three
So you look at the sixty-fours

"Sixty-four? How did sixty-four get into it?" I hear you cry. Well,
sixty-four is eight squared, don't you see? Well, you ask a silly
question, and you get a silly answer.

From the three you then use one
To make three eights
And you add those eights to the three
And you get one-three base eight
Or, in other words
In base ten you have eleven
And you take away seven
And seven from eleven is four
Now go back to the sixty-fours
And you're left with two
And you take away one from two
And that leaves

Now, let's not always see the same hands. One, that's right.
Whoever got that one can stay after class and clean the erasers.

Hooray for new math
New-hoo-hoo-math
It won't do you a bit of good to review math
It's so simple
So very simple
That only a child can do it

Come back tomorrow night, we're gonna do fractions.

But I loved the "L-Y" from the Electric Company TV show:

ARTIST: Tom Lehrer
TITLE: L-Y

You're wearing your squeaky shoes,
And right there taking a snooze
Is a tiger, so how do you walk on by?
[loud whisper]
Silently, silently, Silent L.Y.

You're a secret agent man
Who's after the secret plan.
How do you act so they don't know you're a spy?
[acting suspiciously]
Normally [whistle], normally [whistle], Normal L.Y.

At an eating contest you boast
That you can eat the most.
How do you down your fiftieth piece of pie?
[nauseated]
Eagerly (ugh!), eagerly (yech!), Eager L.Y.

On the lake your boat upset,
And your clothes got soaking wet.
How do you stand and wait for them to dry?
[shivering]
D-d-d-d-d-d-patiently, D-d-d-d-d-d-patiently, D-d-d-d-d-d-patient L.Y.

In the public library
You fall and hurt your knee.
But the sign says QUIET PLEASE, so how can you cry?
[crying]
Quietly [sniff], quietly [sniff], Quiet L.Y.

As you walk along the street
A porcupine you meet.
How do you shake his hand when he says "hi"?
[warily]
Ah, carefully, carefully, Careful L.Y.

You enter a very dark room,
And sitting there in the gloom
Is Dracula.
Now how do you say goodbye?
Immediately, immediately, Immediate L.Y.
Bye bye!




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Still The Most Humbly Prideful (?) Member Of The Illuminati!

Mark

[skywalker]

DOES YOUR CHEWING GUM LOSE IT'S FLAVOR ON THE BEDPOST OVERNIGHT

By Lonnie Donegan

Oh me oh my oh you
Whatever shall I do?
Hallelujah, the question is peculiar
I'd give a lot of dough
If only I could know
The answer to my question
Is it yes or us it no?

Does your chewing gum lose it's flavor
On the bedpost overnight?
If your mother says don't chew it,
Do you swallow it in spite?
Can you catch it with your tonsils,
Can you heave it left and right?
Does your chewing gum lose it's flavor
On the bedpost overnight?

Here comes a blushing bride
The groom is by her side
Up in the altar,
Just as steady as Gibraltar
The groom has got the ring and
It's such a pretty thing
But as he slips it on her finger
The choir begins to sing:

Does your chewing gum lose it's flavor
On the bedpost overnight?
If your mother says don't chew it,
Do you swallow it in spite?
Can you catch in on your tonsils
Can you heave it left and right?
Does your chewing gum lose it's flavor
On the bedpost overnight?

Now the nation sings as one
To send their wanted son
Up to the White House,
Yes the nations's only White House
To voice their discontent
Unto the Pres-I-dent
The bonny burning question
What has swept this continent?

(If tin whistles are made of tin,
What do they make fog horns out of?)
On the bedpost overnight
(Hello there, I love you
And the one who holds you tight)
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday,
Thursday, Friday, Saturday night!
On the bedpost overnight
(A dollar is a dollar
and a dime is a dime
He'd sing another chorus but he
Hasn't got the time)
On the bedpost overnight, yeah!


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Still The Most Humbly Prideful (?) Member Of The Illuminati!

Mark

[DragonMage]

LOL! I have a tape of Dr. Demento's with the chewing gum song on it! I LOVE that one!

I also like Ray Stevens stuff!

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Alureth...Dragon friend of Breanna, Mage and Advisor in the Court of Lady Lioness

Co-Owner/Operator of the Evil Petting Zoo and devout member of the HADB clan.
Commander of the Dragon Fleet, IW Peacekeeping Force
Sublime Sister of the Illuminati - may the Light shine forever!
Second Historian and Scribe of IW. Mother Hen of IW.
Mage extraordinair, Pin-Up Girl for the OLD-COOTS
Magey-Wagey: performer in the Nekked Dancing Trio of the ORT.

Hopeless Romantic *sigh*

[Encard]

Hmm... I'd suggest going to http://www.electricfunstuff.com/efs_band.html and checking some of those songs. The Has Anybody Here Seen My Corpse? song is particularly funny...

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The Eternal ChAos-bringer of

HADB

CCCCCCcccccccHHHHHHHHhhhhhhAAAAAAAaaaaaaaOOOOOOOoo oooooSSSSSSSsssssss.............

[This message has been edited by Encard (edited 10-26-2001).]

[skywalker]

Anyone remember this song?


Chick-A-Boom (Don't Ya Just Love It)
Daddy Dewdrop


Last night I had a crazy dream
'bout a chick in a black bikini, ugh!
Ah, she looked so good, she couldn't be real
She must be a magic genie!

But she disappeared around the corner
All I saw were three doors and the top of her bikini
I made it through the first door, there was a party goin' on
I asked about the chick but what they said was freaky...

Chick-a-boom, chick-a-boom, don't ya just love it
Chick-a-boom, chick-a-boom, don't you just love it
Chick-a-boom, chick-a-boom, don't ya just love it
Chick-a-boom, chick-a-boom-boom-boom

I found the bottom part behind the second door
Which took me to Africa, I presume
This really far-out cat was screamin' half-crazy
"Whomp-bobba-looba ba-lomp-bam-boom"
I said, "Hey man, cut that jive and tell me where the chick went"
But he looked at me, as spaced as could be
And said these words but I wonder what he meant...

Chick-a-boom, chick-a-boom, don't ya just love it
Chick-a-boom, chick-a-boom, don't you just love it
Chick-a-boom, chick-a-boom, don't ya just love it
Chick-a-boom, chick-a-boom-boom-boom

Ah, don't ya just love it
Um hmm, don't ya just love it
Don't ya love it, don't ya love it
Oh yeah, don't ya love it

Don't ya just love it now

I opened the third door and there she was
And she whispered so sexy and low Ooo!
I tried to do the same and impress her with my style
But why I said this, I'll never know...

Chick-a-boom, chick-a-boom, don't ya just love it
Chick-a-boom, chick-a-boom, don't you just love it
Chick-a-boom, chick-a-boom, don't ya just love it
Chick-a-boom, chick-a-boom-boom-boom

Chick-a-boom, chick-a-boom, don't ya just love it
Chick-a-boom, chick-a-boom, don't you just love it
Chick-a-boom, chick-a-boom, don't ya just love it
Chick-a-boom, chick-a-boom-boom-boom

Chick-a-boom, chick-a-boom, don't ya just love it
Chick-a-boom, chick-a-boom, don't you just love it
Chick-a-boom, chick-a-boom, don't ya just love it
{fade...}




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Still The Most Humbly Prideful (?) Member Of The Illuminati!

Mark

[skywalker]

I found it! [Edit} Sung with a little kid voice!

Do You Wanna Buy A Bunny?

Spike Jones

My 'rithmatic is gettin' bad.
I don't know what to do.
I bought a little bunny,
Then I bought another bunny.
Don't one and one make two?

Now when I'm lookin' at the funnies
I get as mad as mad as I can be
'Cause now there are so many bunnies --
Oh me, Oh my, YA WANNA BUY A BUNNY?"

And when I'm eating bread and honey
Those silly little bunnies pester me
'Cause all the bunnies beg for honey --
Oh gee, Oh gosh, YA WANNA BUY A BUNNY?"

When we're playing hide and seek
At my heels they sneak, sneak, sneak,
When I hide they peek, peek, peek,
I get so mad I could shriek: EEEEK!

If you want a fuzzy bunny
That's got a wigg'ly nose and cotton tail
I wish that you would buy a bunny
'Cause I got lots of bunnies for sale.

An' when I get up early in the morning to go out to the chicken house
to feed my little tiny baby chickens, all those crazy little bunnies just
follow around after me, just hop-hop-hop-hop-hop-hop-hoppin' like the
dickens.
Here, chicky, chicky, chicky, chicky! Get away from me, bunny. Ya
bother me. Get outa here, ya crazy little bunnies!"

And when I sneak my little tiny puppy dog, Rover, upstairs with me to bed, the bed is full of them silly little bunnies, from the foot up to the
head. Get out of my bed, you bad little bunnies! Go on, now, bunnies! Get
outa here! Go on, now!

Bunnies, bunnies, bunnies, bunnies, everywhere.
There's bunnies on the table and there's bunnies on the chair.
Bunnies on the sofa and there's bunnies on the floor,
And there's some new ones coming through the door: more?!"

Please come on and buy a bunny.
I'd even like to sell you two or three.
But if you don't have any money,
I'll give you a bunny.

'Cause there's just too darn many bunnies for me! There's bunnies all
over the place.
Bunnies under my feet, bunnies on my bed.
Every place that I go, those
silly little bunnies...

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Still The Most Humbly Prideful (?) Member Of The Illuminati!

Mark

[This message has been edited by skywalker (edited 10-26-2001).]

[Silver Cheetah]

Originally posted by skywalker: For some odd reason, this song was running through my mind on my way home from errands today. And I have to share the lyrics: ARTIST: Tom Lehrer TITLE: Poisoning Pigeons In the Park Spring is here, a-suh-puh-ring is here Life is skittles and life is beer I think the loveliest time of the year is the spring I do, don't you, of course you do But there's one thing that makes spring complete for me And makes every Sunday a treat for me All the world seems in tune On a spring afternoon When we're poisoning pigeons in the park Every Sunday you'll see My sweetheart and me As we poison the pigeons in the park When they see us coming, the birdies all try and hide But they still go for peanuts when coated with cyanide The sun's shining bright Everything seems all right When we're poisoning pigeons in the park La la, dum de da da da doo deedeedee We've gained notoriety and caused much anxiety In the Audubon Society with our games They call it impiety and lack of propriety And quite a variety of unpleasant names But it's not against any religion To want to dispose of a pigeon So if Sunday you're free Why don't you come with me And we'll poison the pigeons in the park And maybe we'll do In a squirrel or two While we're poisoning pigeons in the park We'll murder them all amid laughter and merriment Except for the few we take home to experiment My pulse will be quickenin' with each drop of strych-a-nin' We feed to a pigeon It just takes a smidgen To poison a pigeon in the park (Apologies to all pigeon and squirrel lovers!)

I know it I know it (Cheetah said excitedly......)

Also Oedipus something.....

Tracey likes Tom Leara lots.... it was she who introduced me to him...


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Most Ecstatic Mistress of the Illuminati Not to Mention Sensuality Incarnate (if Somewhat Flea-bitten Right Now..)

Feisty Kitten Mascot and Succourer of the Waifs and Strays Hugging and Smooching Club

[skywalker]

Originally posted by Silver Cheetah: I know it I know it (Cheetah said excitedly......) Also Oedipus something..... Tracey likes Tom Leara lots.... it was she who introduced me to him...

Por Vous (Is that spelled right?)


ARTIST: Tom Lehrer
TITLE: Oedipus Rex

From the Bible to the popular song
There's one theme that we find right along
Of all ideals they hail as good
The most sublime is Motherhood

There was a man, though, who it seems
Once carried this ideal to extremes
He loved his mother and she loved him
And yet his story is rather grim

There once lived a man named Oedipus Rex
You may have heard about his odd complex
His name appears in Freud's index
'Cause he loved his mother

His rivals used to say quite a bit
That as a monarch he was most unfit
But still in all they had to admit
That he loved his mother

Yes he loved his mother like no other
His daughter was his sister and his son was his brother
One thing on which you can depend is
He sure knew who a boy's best friend is

When he found what he had done
He tore his eyes out one by one
A tragic end to a loyal son
Who loved his mother

So be sweet and kind to Mother
Now and then have a chat
Buy her candy or some flowers, or a brand new hat
But maybe you had better let it go at that

Or you may find yourself with a quite complex complex
And you may end up like Oedipus
I'd rather marry a duck-billed platypus
Than end up like old Oedipus Rex




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Still The Most Humbly Prideful (?) Member Of The Illuminati!

Mark