09-17-2003, 07:31 PM | #1 |
Jack Burton
Join Date: March 21, 2001
Location: Philippines, but now Harbor City Sydney
Age: 41
Posts: 5,556
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got this from the email, pretty funny but i edit the last part to try and make it more umm.. considerate.. ..
------------------------------------------ >something we should all understand... > >From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this: What makes 100%? >What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people >who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings >where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? > >Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these >questions: > >What makes up 100% in Life? > >If: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ > >is represented as: > >1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 > >Then: H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K > >8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11=98% > >K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E > >11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5=96% > >A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E > >1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5=100% > >However: > >B-U-*-L-*-H-*-T > >2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20-103% > >and, look how far ass kissing will take you. > >A-$-$-K-*-$-$-I-N-G > >1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7=118% > >So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that: While hard work and >knowledge will get you close, and attitude will get you there, bu*l $h*t and >a$$ k*s*ing will put you over the top! > >I guess this is something we always knew. However, isn't it great to be >able to mathematically prove it? edit: rather than putting another joke from the email to a new post decided to put it here.. ------------------- ORIGINAL QUOTE If you love someone, Set her free... If she comes back, she's yours, If she doesn't, it was never meant to be.... THE NEW VERSIONS... Pessimist: If you love someone, Set her free ... If she ever comes back, she's yours, If she doesn't, as expected, she never was. Whatever gave you the idea that she would anyway? Optimist: If you love someone, Set her free ... Don't worry, she'll come back. Suspicious: If you love someone, Set her free ... If she ever comes back, ask her why. Impatient: If you love someone, Set her free ... If she doesn't come back within a week forget it. Patient: If you love someone, Set her free ... If she doesn't come back put your life on hold and sit and wait. Playful: If you love someone, Set her free ... If she comes back, and if you love her still, set her fr ee again, repeat* The Human Ecologist: If you love someone, Set her free, In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!! Lawyers: If you love someone, Set her free, Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a - 1 in the second amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that... Bill Gates : If you love someone, Set her free, If she comes back, I think we can charge her for re-installation fees and tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade. Biologist : If you love someone, Set her free, She'll evolve. Statisticians : If you love someone, Set her free, If she loves you, the probability of her coming back is high. If she doesn't, your relation was improbable anyway. Schwarzenegger's fans: If you love someone, Set her free, SHE'LL BE BACK! Over possessive person: If you love someone, don't set her free. The FBI agent: If you love someone, set her free. Then put bug on her phone and surveillance cameras in her house. The Pathetic: If you love someone, set her free. Who wants to be stuck with a loser like you anyway? The Lawyer: If you love someone, set her free. Then sue her for emotional distress. The Psycho: If you love someone, set her free. If she doesn't come back shoot her. The Creepy Sociopath: If you love someone, stalk her. The geeky programmer: IF you love someone THEN set her free ENDIF DO UNTIL she comes back wait ENDDO [ 09-17-2003, 07:49 PM: Message edited by: Harkoliar ]
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09-17-2003, 07:37 PM | #2 |
Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice
Join Date: September 5, 2001
Location: House of Freelight
Age: 48
Posts: 3,159
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[img]tongue.gif[/img] I think I came across this briefly before, but it's still funny
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09-17-2003, 08:04 PM | #3 | |
Takhisis Follower
Join Date: April 30, 2001
Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now)
Posts: 5,089
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Quote:
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09-17-2003, 09:32 PM | #4 |
Quintesson
Join Date: August 7, 2002
Location: Oakville (next to the T.O.), Ontario, Canada
Age: 35
Posts: 1,097
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Lol, some funny stuff.
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09-18-2003, 04:33 AM | #5 |
Gold Dragon
Join Date: May 19, 2002
Location: Blessed are those who are not....
Age: 43
Posts: 2,556
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Great! I'll go and challenge all my teachers with this stuff! I will rule supreme (I hope?!.....)
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09-18-2003, 05:13 AM | #6 |
Avatar
Join Date: August 2, 2002
Location: St. Louis
Age: 49
Posts: 529
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LOL! I guess I'm giving 103% to the boss today.
I liked the Pyshopath and Creepy Sociopath ones.
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09-18-2003, 05:52 AM | #7 |
Emerald Dragon
Join Date: May 12, 2002
Location: Sweden
Age: 35
Posts: 992
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too much teeext....
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