Saddam's moustache

Kaltia · 10-09-2002, 03:45 PM

Note: this was taken from a British satire magasine known as the Private Eye. i thought it was damned funny but if anyone takes offence then I'll remove it [img]smile.gif[/img]

DOES SADDAM POSSESS A MOUSTACHE?
By Our defense Staff Brig. John trumper-Smythe

The Dossier released last week by Tony Blair contains conclusive evidence that Saddam Hussein has the capacity to grow a moustache in 48 hours. In fact he may already have one.
Intelligence reports from deep inside iraq suggest that the iraqi Moustache Project (codenamed SADMOUST) is already highly-advanced.
details of the project could not be included in the dossier in case they comprimised valuable intelligence sources (poss G. Bush).
Cat and moustache.
Saddam has a long history of playing "cat and mouse" games with UN Moustache Inspectors. Sometimes they are allowed into the Presidential Palace-At other times they are told it is closed "for repairs".
Said one former inspector; "Saddam cannot be trusted. he could easily have a moustache by now. But we would not neccesarily know."

Horatio · 10-09-2002, 03:46 PM

Lol, send in the Barber Elite [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]

johnny · 10-09-2002, 03:48 PM

That's pretty terrifying.

Timber Loftis · 10-09-2002, 04:05 PM

On a related note:

Defense Department Typo Results In U.S. Attack On Ira
ARLINGTON, VA—The U.S. Defense Department apologized to Skokie, IL, dentist Ira Nussbaum Tuesday following a bombing campaign aimed at removing the 37-year-old from power. "Apparently, the intelligence source who drafted the attack plan against Iraq failed to strike the 'Q' key hard enough," Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said. "The 'Q' was always a little stubborn on that keyboard. Sorry." This marks the first military action taken against Nussbaum since a malfunctioning shift key prompted Ulster Unionists to detonate his Ford Taurus in 1998.

(From today's ed. of The Onion - www.theonion.com)
[img]graemlins/thewave.gif[/img]

Timber Loftis · 10-09-2002, 04:17 PM

And addressing US National Security:

American People Shrug, Line Up For Fingerprinting
WASHINGTON, DC—Assuming that there must be a good reason for the order, U.S. citizens lined up at elementary schools and community centers across the nation Monday for government-mandated fingerprinting. "I'm not exactly sure what this is all about," said Ft. Smith, AR, resident Meredith Lovell while waiting in line. "But given all the crazy stuff that's going on these days, I'm sure the government has a very good reason." Said Amos Hawkins, a Rockford, IL, delivery driver: "I guess this is another thing they have to do to ensure our freedom."

Oh please, oh please, install a chip in MY child's wrist - so I always know they're save and secure.

The future I imagine is one where you walk in McD's and a retinal or chip scan hits you before you even know it. You get to the register, and the cashier (looking at a printout) says "Good Morning Mr. Loftis, would you like your usual #2 combo?" Scary.

Same issue of The Onion (I'm too lazy to search further today).

Calaethis Dragonsbane · 10-09-2002, 04:17 PM

Kat dear, where DO you find this stuff? *looks shocked*

still pretty funny tho [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Kaltia · 10-10-2002, 02:44 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Calaethis Dragonsbane:
Kat dear, where DO you find this stuff? *looks shocked* still pretty funny tho [img]tongue.gif[/img]

The private eye!

norompanlasolas · 10-10-2002, 04:34 AM

also from the onion. sad but true.
http://www.theonion.com/onion3837/starving_masses.html

LennonCook · 10-10-2002, 04:49 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by norompanlasolas:
also from the onion. sad but true.
http://www.theonion.com/onion3837/starving_masses.html

Am I the only one who imagined Gaal from BG2 when I read that ??

10-09-2002, 03:45 PM	#1
Kaltia Jack Burton Join Date: May 2, 2002 Location: Canterbury, England Age: 36 Posts: 5,817	Note: this was taken from a British satire magasine known as the Private Eye. i thought it was damned funny but if anyone takes offence then I'll remove it [img]smile.gif[/img] *DOES SADDAM POSSESS A MOUSTACHE?* By Our defense Staff Brig. John trumper-Smythe The Dossier released last week by Tony Blair contains conclusive evidence that Saddam Hussein has the capacity to grow a moustache in 48 hours. In fact he may already have one. Intelligence reports from deep inside iraq suggest that the iraqi Moustache Project (codenamed SADMOUST) is already highly-advanced. details of the project could not be included in the dossier in case they comprimised valuable intelligence sources (poss G. Bush). Cat and moustache. Saddam has a long history of playing "cat and mouse" games with UN Moustache Inspectors. Sometimes they are allowed into the Presidential Palace-At other times they are told it is closed "for repairs". Said one former inspector; "Saddam cannot be trusted. he could easily have a moustache by now. But we would not neccesarily know." __________________ The wolf is as cunning as he is ferocious; once he's had a taste of flesh then nothing else will do.

10-09-2002, 03:48 PM	#3
johnny 40th Level Warrior Join Date: April 15, 2002 Location: Utrecht The Netherlands Age: 58 Posts: 16,981	That's pretty terrifying. __________________

10-09-2002, 04:05 PM	#4
Timber Loftis 40th Level Warrior Join Date: July 11, 2002 Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 11,916	On a related note: Defense Department Typo Results In U.S. Attack On Ira ARLINGTON, VA—The U.S. Defense Department apologized to Skokie, IL, dentist Ira Nussbaum Tuesday following a bombing campaign aimed at removing the 37-year-old from power. "Apparently, the intelligence source who drafted the attack plan against Iraq failed to strike the 'Q' key hard enough," Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said. "The 'Q' was always a little stubborn on that keyboard. Sorry." This marks the first military action taken against Nussbaum since a malfunctioning shift key prompted Ulster Unionists to detonate his Ford Taurus in 1998. (From today's ed. of The Onion - www.theonion.com) [img]graemlins/thewave.gif[/img] __________________

10-09-2002, 04:17 PM	#5
Timber Loftis 40th Level Warrior Join Date: July 11, 2002 Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 11,916	And addressing US National Security: American People Shrug, Line Up For Fingerprinting WASHINGTON, DC—Assuming that there must be a good reason for the order, U.S. citizens lined up at elementary schools and community centers across the nation Monday for government-mandated fingerprinting. "I'm not exactly sure what this is all about," said Ft. Smith, AR, resident Meredith Lovell while waiting in line. "But given all the crazy stuff that's going on these days, I'm sure the government has a very good reason." Said Amos Hawkins, a Rockford, IL, delivery driver: "I guess this is another thing they have to do to ensure our freedom." Oh please, oh please, install a chip in MY child's wrist - so I always know they're save and secure. The future I imagine is one where you walk in McD's and a retinal or chip scan hits you before you even know it. You get to the register, and the cashier (looking at a printout) says "Good Morning Mr. Loftis, would you like your usual #2 combo?" Scary. Same issue of The Onion (I'm too lazy to search further today). __________________

10-09-2002, 04:17 PM	#6
Calaethis Dragonsbane Legion Symbol Join Date: May 29, 2002 Location: Somewhere in between Age: 39 Posts: 7,029	Kat dear, where DO you find this stuff? looks shocked still pretty funny tho [img]tongue.gif[/img] __________________ Skydracgrrl: Cruelty, thy name is Cal! --- There are none so blind as those who refuse to see, none so deaf as those who refuse to hear, and none so smelly as those who refuse to bathe.

10-09-2002, 03:46 PM	#2
Horatio Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice Join Date: September 19, 2001 Location: Behind these metal bars Age: 41 Posts: 3,117	Lol, send in the Barber Elite [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img] __________________ I <b>am</b> the party!!<br /> [img]\"http://zert0.net/iuti/img2/1381585-vi.gif\" alt=\" - \" />

10-10-2002, 04:34 AM	#8
norompanlasolas Avatar Join Date: November 13, 2001 Location: madrid, spain... made in argentina Age: 47 Posts: 569	also from the onion. sad but true. http://www.theonion.com/onion3837/starving_masses.html __________________ no

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