Ever had wife/girlfriend, but no manual? Provided herein as a public service ;-)

[J.J.]

Dear Tech support.
>
> Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that
> the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot
> of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was
> included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs
> itself into all other programs and launches during system
> initialization, where it monitors all other system activity.
> Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and
> Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever
> selected. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while
> attempting to run some of my other favorite applications.
> Also it appears to have self installed some kind of system destroying
> application called Mother-In-Law 2.5, which appears interfear with
> all other applications I attemp to run?
> I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but uninstall does
> not work on this program. Can you help me!!
>
> Thanks Joe
>
>
>
> Dear Joe:
>
> This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to
> a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to
> Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES &
> ENTERTAINMENT" program.
>
> Wife 1.0 is an "OPERATING SYSTEM" and designed by its creator to run
> everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and
> still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within
> your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing
> is gained.
> It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files
> from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0
> because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to
> install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than
> the original system.
> Look in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support". I
> recommend you keep Wife1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having
> Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire
> section regarding General Partnership Faults (PS). You must assume
> all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur,
> regardless of their cause.
>
> The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\ APOLOGIZE.
> The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all
> the PS.
> Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider
> buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I
> recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0.
>
> Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary with Short Skirt
> 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely
> to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
>
> There is an application called Mistress 2.1 which may help, but we
> warn you, this MUST be installed using STEALTH MODE!! As again this
> is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
>
> Best of Luck.
> Tech Support

[LordKathen]

LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!! Very cool man! I have the wife 5.0 system, and let me tell you, I would not trade It for any other system.

[Megabot]

Lol maby i shall "upgrade" my gf to she is at level +5.0 i think so i shall se!

[Kaltia]

LOL! I saw one lke that before...so funny!

[johnny]

May i suggest a format ?

[VulcanRider]

Important tip: Wife 1.0 does not support networking between machines. If you try to set up a PC at one location with this software, and set up another PC somewhere else running either the Girlfriend app or another copy of Wife, YOU MUST KEEP THESE MACHINES TOTALLY SEPARATE. Violating this rule, depending on the severity, may trigger the Wife OS to display the blue screen of death. The most common message is DC$$$$$ -- the Divorce Court series of messages are normally fatal and permanent, meaning you usually lose your whole machine.

[Calaethis Dragonsbane]

Originally posted by Kaltia: LOL! I saw one lke that before...so funny!

*runs, hides,* and nessy wanted to do this to me?

[B_part]

LOL!

[Kaltia]

Originally posted by Calaethis Dragonsbane: quote: Originally posted by Kaltia: LOL! I saw one lke that before...so funny!

*runs, hides,* and nessy wanted to do this to me?[/QUOTE]*Giggles* uh-huh [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[Yorick]

I've seen that before JJ. It's very very funny. Many a true word is said in jest. I love it.