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05-10-2002, 09:00 AM
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#1 |
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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A single fly has been buzzing around me for the past week whenever I sit down at the computer. I'm at my wit's end - I've tried reasoning, cajoling, compromization, coaxing - nothing seems to work. It will not leave me alone. For the first couple of days we had a love/hate relationship - it seemed to love me and I hated it. But now my anger towards it has slowly but surely slipped into a semi Nebuchadnezzan rage. I've been actively trying to swat it with every type of object imaginable this morning. It escapes me each and every time.
Now this subject may seem incredibly trivial to some of you - but I feel that this particular fly has deserved a post here at Ironworks. If an ordinary winged insect can cause the demise of an intelligent human being then it has certainly deserved its thread. Oh and before I forget... does anybody have any fly-swatting tips for me? [img]tongue.gif[/img] |
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05-10-2002, 09:05 AM
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#2 |
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Jack Burton
 Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Airstrip One
Age: 40
Posts: 5,571
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Wait till it gets dark then turn off all of the lights and open a window. The fly will fly out to the lights outside then close the window.
Does it have a name?
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[img]\"http://www.wheatsheaf.freeserve.co.uk/roastspurs.gif\" alt=\" - \" /> <br />Proud member of the Axis of Upheaval<br />Official Titterer of the Laughing Hyenas<br />Josiah Bartlet - the best President the US never had.<br />The 1st D in the D & D Show |
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05-10-2002, 09:07 AM
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#3 | |
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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Quote:
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05-10-2002, 09:23 AM
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#4 |
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Harper
 Join Date: October 2, 2001
Location: Aberdeen, Scotland
Age: 42
Posts: 4,774
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Sugar Cube.
Sledgehammer. Nuff said.
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[img]\"http://www.sighost.us/members/Zvijer/andrewas.gif\" alt=\" - \" /> |
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05-10-2002, 09:28 AM
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White Dragon
  Join Date: October 19, 2001
Location: York, UK.
Age: 41
Posts: 1,815
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Quote:
(boom! boom!)
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[img]\"http://img1.ranchoweb.com/images/sproutman/certwist.gif\" alt=\" - \" /><br /><br /><i>\"And the angels all pallid and wan,<br />Uprising, unveiling, affirm,<br />That the play is the tragedy, man,<br />And its hero the Conquerer Worm.\"</i><br /> - Edgar Allan Poe |
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05-10-2002, 11:40 AM
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#6 |
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Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice
 Join Date: August 31, 2001
Location: Land of the Britons
Age: 37
Posts: 3,224
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Well, the mistake most people make is to raise the swatter high, the bring it down on the fly, but because flies see everything almost in slow motion, they see it coming a mile off (they have alomst 360 vision and we're far too bog to get directly in their miniscule blind spot.)
So what I do, I get as close to it as I can without it flying off, lift the swatter without bringing your arm too far up or back, then just quickly and sharply tap it. You don't have to pelt it hard, they aren't the strongest things and a well-placed tap should either stun them or damage their wings to the point of not being able to fly any more. Then they are at your mercy!! Muhahahaha!! [img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]
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Resident cantankerous sorcerer of the Clan HADB<br />and Sorcerous Nuttella salesman of the O.R.T<br />  <br /><br />Say NO to the Trouser Tyranny! Can I drill you about this?
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05-10-2002, 11:54 PM
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#7 |
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Elminster
 Join Date: January 24, 2002
Location: Virginia Beach
Age: 39
Posts: 467
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have you tried spraying it with something? spray him, and then hes all yours for REVENGE! pull his wings off, fling him around with a spoon, and then drown him in orange juice! and tack him to the wall as a warning to any other hoodlum flies that try to torment you
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05-10-2002, 11:56 PM
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#8 |
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Gold Dragon
 Join Date: March 29, 2002
Location: Canada
Age: 51
Posts: 2,534
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Ever tried a .357 magnum? It could be incredibly satisfying!
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It\'s all fun and games until somebody loses an eye...then it becomes a sport.<br /> [img]\"http://members.shaw.ca/mtholdings/bsmeter.gif\" alt=\" - \" /> |
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05-10-2002, 11:58 PM
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#9 |
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Unicorn
 Join Date: May 14, 2002
Location: Oklahoma, USA
Age: 33
Posts: 4,238
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I say the fly is Indiana Jones in a fly costume. [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img]
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\"I firmly believe that any man\'s finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is the moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious.\"<br />-Vince Lombardi |
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