Board Opinion on Relationship

[TheThing]

Originally posted by onthepequod: I think it is important to keep in mind that the health of a relationship is something measured on a continuum. Relationships are not simply good or bad. Some are better than others (therefore healthier), which most of the time is dictated by aspects such as intimacy and depth. IMHO.

yeah, agree. but that doesnt contradict what I am asking ^^

[ 04-10-2002, 04:53 PM: Message edited by: TheThing ]

I think....ummmm never mind [img]smile.gif[/img]

Ok I decided to post after all...After reading Charean's post I just had to put something in here.

There are sincerely UNHEALTHY people out there who are completely incapable of forming any kind of beneficial relationship. There are also a LARGE number of "healthy" people, meaning people who fit within a certain statistical "norm" who can but not WILL have healthy relationships...the problem with the term "Healthy" is that it is a reletive/subjective term and not an absolute.

As for accepting people for who they are without judgement...that is sheer maddness, to accept pedofiles and rapists and psychotic killers into ones society is asking for destruction loss and UNHEALTHY occurrances.

[img]smile.gif[/img] There [img]smile.gif[/img] that being said, I wouldn't condemn Charean if he/she wishes to accept those people as ok, its his/her choice.

[ 04-10-2002, 05:05 PM: Message edited by: MagiK ]

[onthepequod]

Originally posted by TheThing: a physically unhealthy person can still participate in healthy exersize.

Agreed. But as you recall my point as applied to this arguement would be the physically unhealthy person is still less heathly than a healthy person. You see, my entire post was solely in response to your statement "The individual healthiness does not determine the healthiness of relationship. however, the intimacy and depth of bond does rely on individual's healthniess."

Originally posted by TheThing: you see, if two individuals in a relationship do not try to work towards each other, end of the story. It doesn't matter if both parties are healthy. however, the opposite is true when both are willing to cooperate.

I also agree with this point. That was why I made my arguement "ceteris peribus" (meaning all other things held constant). Athough I would argue that ones willingnes to work toward another is more than likely reflective of ones emotional health. Consequently, this would be another potential relational hiderance of an emotionally unhealthy person.

Originally posted by TheThing: so individual healthiness is not a required elemante.

I never said that individual health was requisite for a healthly relationship. What I argued was; the healthier the participants, the healthier the relationship (as a general rule of thumb) as opposed to "The individual healthiness does not determine the healthiness of relationship."

Ultimately, my point was this; you state "The individual healthiness does not determine the healthiness of relationship. however, the intimacy and depth of bond does rely on individual's healthniess." I on the other hand am saying you cannot say intimacy and depth of relationship are reliant on the health (emotional etc...)of the individuals in the relationship while the relationship itself is not. This, IMHO, cannot be the case because the health of a relationship is dependant on its depth and intimacy.

[ 04-10-2002, 08:29 PM: Message edited by: onthepequod ]

[onthepequod]

Originally posted by TheThing: quote: Originally posted by onthepequod: I think it is important to keep in mind that the health of a relationship is something measured on a continuum. Relationships are not simply good or bad. Some are better than others (therefore healthier), which most of the time is dictated by aspects such as intimacy and depth. IMHO.

yeah, agree. but that doesnt contradict what I am asking ^^[/QUOTE]It doesn't. My response had nothing to do with your initial question and was solely directed at your subsequent statement "The individual healthiness does not determine the healthiness of relationship. however, the intimacy and depth of bond does rely on individual's healthniess."

I found your initial question interesting and am still waiting to hear what you had in mind by the term "healthy" (see my very first post in this thread).

[ 04-10-2002, 06:18 PM: Message edited by: onthepequod ]

[Black Knight]

ahhhh....deep philosophical debate *rolls up sleeves*

I really don't think we can truly answer this one. Because it all depends on what your definition of a "Healthy Relationship" is. (not to mention what a "Healthy Person" is) If two people are in a relationship where one person is getting physically abused, but their previous relationship they were getting raped and mentally abused, isn't their only physically abusive relationship much more "healthy" for them? Or the couple that has lived together for 25 years of marriage, never fights, respect's each other's work, has 3 beautiful daughters, but hasn't slept in the same room for 8 years and freely admits that they don't "love" each other anymore. Is that a "Healthy" relationship? Each person knows where they stand, what they are going to get out of it, and is happy about it?

Personally, I have a hard time having a relationship with others before I got my relationship with myself and my relationship with myself and my Deity first. Can't love someone else before you can allow yourself to love you...and then the whole God-fearing/loving thing...

It's a very good question that I'm sure if you asked 100 people, you would get 100 view points. Best part is, for them, they are all correct. One can argue the many points that has been put on this board with different angles and you are both going to be correct from your viewpoint. [img]smile.gif[/img]

If it makes you truly happy, good. If you look into the mirror at 4 am and no one is around and you can look into the mirror and are happy with what you see in your relationship, then it really doesn't matter what other's thing. Be happy, for happiness is a truly fleeting commodity.

BK

[Tiamat]

I think it is possible to have a healthy relationship with an 'ill' person..... but you must watch yourself though. and KOTTONMOUTH KINGS AND ICP AND TWIZTED ROCK!!!!!

[TheThing]

As long as both parties are willing to work out a relationship, individual's healthiness or the lack of can be properly dealt with.

there is no standard definition to what is healthy. my measurement is as good as yours, however there are some commen things to be accepted as "healthy". just exercise your commen sense, no need to put it into words. (and I cannot)

my point is already made. a less healthy person can have a healthy relationship. but the first that this less healthy individual must be willing to explore and accept his/her own shadows. to deny that means self destruction as a whole. no relationship is possible until one stops denying.

[ 04-11-2002, 09:49 PM: Message edited by: TheThing ]