Why We Love Children

10-09-2002, 05:47 PM

A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat. She asked him if it was dead or alive.
"Dead." She was informed.
"How do youknow?" she asked her pupil.
"Because I pissed in its ear and itdidn't move," answered the child innocently.
"You did WHAT?!?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
"You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."

An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief,finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out andkeep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan,come in or stay out!'"

A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a b* tch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a b*tch is nine...."
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are youdoing?"
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom."
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.
"Yes," he answered.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?"
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."
The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two,that son of a b* tch is four?"
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky isfalling!"
The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do youthink the farmer said?"
One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said "Holy Sh*t! A talking chicken!" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

johnny · 10-09-2002, 05:54 PM

Is that the reason you were away that long ? Searching for jokes to post ? Which were very good by the way.

Timber Loftis · 10-09-2002, 05:57 PM

Absolutely hilarious. Me, I love children because they're not as tough and crunchy as adults.

WillowIX · 10-09-2002, 06:00 PM

[img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img] Excellent jokes Moni! And probably very true. Children see the world quite differently don´t they [img]graemlins/blueblink.gif[/img]

Calaethis Dragonsbane · 10-09-2002, 06:03 PM

lol; those were great, loved the first one

... the chicken one was funny too [img]tongue.gif[/img]

10-09-2002, 06:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by johnny:
Is that the reason you were away that long ? Searching for jokes to post ? Which were very good by the way.

No, LOL but that would be a good excuse!
(I've been extra busy with school work.)
I missed you most of all johnny! [img]graemlins/ladyhearts.gif[/img]
I am glad you enjoyed them!

Timber Loftis,
ROFL You Shush!

WillowIX & Calaethis Dragonsbane,
I am glad you enjoyed them! I could not resist posting them.

Night Stalker · 10-09-2002, 07:18 PM

Moni

Thanks for the laugh [img]tongue.gif[/img] Kids say the darndest things at times! This is a much appreciated change from some of the more heated threads lately [img]smile.gif[/img] . (*shrugs guiltily* though I did start one of them [img]tongue.gif[/img] )

Mack_Attack · 10-09-2002, 07:21 PM

Priceless. I loved the one about the adding.

Neb · 10-09-2002, 07:21 PM

Hm, interesting reasons for why we love children. Personally I love them because they're crunchy and taste wonderful on toast, especially with mustard.

T/-/alali · 10-09-2002, 08:48 PM

Hmmm I like chidren because if you offer them candy they will come to you. Then you can bite their HEADS OFF. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Sorry couldn't resist.

10-09-2002, 05:54 PM	#2
johnny 40th Level Warrior Join Date: April 15, 2002 Location: Utrecht The Netherlands Age: 58 Posts: 16,981	Is that the reason you were away that long ? Searching for jokes to post ? Which were very good by the way. __________________

10-09-2002, 05:57 PM	#3
Timber Loftis 40th Level Warrior Join Date: July 11, 2002 Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 11,916	Absolutely hilarious. Me, I love children because they're not as tough and crunchy as adults. __________________

10-09-2002, 06:00 PM	#4
WillowIX Apophis Join Date: July 10, 2001 Location: By a big blue lake, Canada Age: 50 Posts: 4,628	[img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img] Excellent jokes Moni! And probably very true. Children see the world quite differently don´t they [img]graemlins/blueblink.gif[/img] __________________ Confuzzled by nature.

10-09-2002, 06:03 PM	#5
Calaethis Dragonsbane Legion Symbol Join Date: May 29, 2002 Location: Somewhere in between Age: 39 Posts: 7,029	lol; those were great, loved the first one ... the chicken one was funny too [img]tongue.gif[/img] __________________ Skydracgrrl: Cruelty, thy name is Cal! --- There are none so blind as those who refuse to see, none so deaf as those who refuse to hear, and none so smelly as those who refuse to bathe.

10-09-2002, 07:18 PM	#7
Night Stalker Lord Ao Join Date: June 24, 2002 Location: Nevernever Land Age: 49 Posts: 2,002	Moni Thanks for the laugh [img]tongue.gif[/img] Kids say the darndest things at times! This is a much appreciated change from some of the more heated threads lately [img]smile.gif[/img] . (shrugs guiltily though I did start one of them [img]tongue.gif[/img] ) __________________ [url]\"http://www.duryea.org/pinky/gurkin.wav\" target=\"_blank\">AYPWIP?</a> .... <img border=\"0\" alt=\"[1ponder]\" title=\"\" src=\"graemlins/1ponder.gif\" /> <br />\"I think so Brain, but isn\'t a cucumber that small called a gherkin?\"<br /><br />Shut UP! Pinky!

10-09-2002, 05:47 PM	#1
Moni Guest Posts: n/a	A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat. She asked him if it was dead or alive. "Dead." She was informed. "How do youknow?" she asked her pupil. "Because I pissed in its ear and itdidn't move," answered the child innocently. "You did WHAT?!?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise. "You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move." An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief,finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out andkeep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan,come in or stay out!'" A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a b* tch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a btch is nine...." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are youdoing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom." "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two,that son of a b tch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four." One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky isfalling!" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do youthink the farmer said?" One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said "Holy Sh*t! A talking chicken!" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

10-09-2002, 07:21 PM	#8
Mack_Attack Osiris - Egyptian God of the Underworld Join Date: May 22, 2001 Location: Sherwoodpark,Alberta,Canada Age: 51 Posts: 2,929	Priceless. I loved the one about the adding. __________________

10-09-2002, 07:21 PM	#9
Neb Account deleted by Request Join Date: May 17, 2001 Location: . Age: 38 Posts: 8,802	Hm, interesting reasons for why we love children. Personally I love them because they're crunchy and taste wonderful on toast, especially with mustard.

10-09-2002, 08:48 PM	#10
T/-/alali Baaz Draconian Join Date: September 8, 2002 Location: Cornelius,NC Age: 36 Posts: 700	Hmmm I like chidren because if you offer them candy they will come to you. Then you can bite their HEADS OFF. [img]tongue.gif[/img] Sorry couldn't resist. __________________ I am the Ferret king, master of the hordes, allied to Someguy\'s mighty pinguins, we will soon rule the world!

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
A book you should get for your children	Spelca	Entertainment (Movies, TV Shows and Books/Comics)	9	01-26-2005 08:11 AM
Children and God	Flaming Fist Enforcer	General Conversation Archives (11/2000 - 01/2005)	9	04-14-2003 01:24 PM
Children	Moiraine	General Discussion	13	04-01-2003 06:42 AM
Should you smack your children?	Avatar	General Conversation Archives (11/2000 - 01/2005)	276	05-18-2002 05:25 AM
Prozac -- Road Rage, Children killing Children? Linked?	Ziroc	General Conversation Archives (11/2000 - 01/2005)	30	09-05-2001 10:44 AM