It's the Law (very old)

Arvon · 10-04-2003, 12:15 PM

Unique Laws

You've heard of Murphy's Law: Everything that can go wrong will go wrong. There are many other related Laws, as well. Here are some:

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair

Identical parts aren't.
Beach's Law

Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner.
Anthony's Law of the Workshop

Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.
Tussman's Law

If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
Lowery's Law

The solution to a problem changes the problem.
Peer's Law

There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be solved by brute strength and ignorance.
William's Law

Handy Guide to Modern Science:
If it's green or it wiggles, it's Biology.
If it stinks, it's Chemistry.
If it doesn't work, it's Physics.

Machines should work. People should think.
IBM's Pollyanna Principle

The most ineffective workers will be systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage - management.
The Dilbert Principle

The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
Ehrlich's Law

It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry.
Ralph's Observation

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
Cannon's Comment

Thinly sliced cabbage.
Cole's Law

Never accept a drink from a urologist, nor a friendly handshake from a proctologist.
The Law of Common Sense

Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
The Law of Reality

When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.
The Law of Avoiding Oversell

Sometimes you are the dog. Sometimes you are the hydrant.
Law of Physical Displacement

Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege.
Legal Rights

Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
Law of Probable Dispersal

Be a good housekeeper. When you leave him ... get a good lawyer ...keep his house.
Law Pertaining to Divorce

Zuvio · 10-04-2003, 03:12 PM

"The most ineffective workers will be systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage - management."
The Dilbert Principle

Hear, hear!! This should be taught during my management classes!

Good stuff Arvon

Mouse · 10-04-2003, 07:19 PM

Thinly sliced cabbage.
Cole's Law

Nice one [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]

Bungleau · 10-04-2003, 10:29 PM

MacGyver's law, perhaps:

If it doesn't move, and it should, use WD-40.
If it moves, and it shouldn't, use duct tape.

Timber Loftis · 10-06-2003, 12:22 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bungleau:
MacGyver's law, perhaps:

If it doesn't move, and it should, use WD-40.
If it moves, and it shouldn't, use duct tape.

[img]graemlins/doh.gif[/img] He beat me to it. Duct tape NS wd40 are the only tools a good redneck needs!!!

Harkoliar · 10-06-2003, 12:30 AM

laws eh??

.. i dug this up on the old email and posted this a long time ago.. time to post it up again [img]smile.gif[/img] enjoy!

STRANGE SEX LAWS

1. In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense.)

2. In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only
see their reflection in a mirror. (Makes you hope you never need surgery!)

3 . The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation. (Whoa!)

4 . There are men in Guam whose full time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time...Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry. (Let's just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)

5 . In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.
(Ah! Justice!)

6 . Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England
- but only in tropical fish stores. (But of course!)

7 . In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.
(Makes one shudder at the thought.)

8 . In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time. (This was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)

9 . In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises."
(Is this a great country or what? ... Not as great as Guam, though!!)

Raistlin Majere · 10-06-2003, 01:14 PM

ROTFL Hark, those are funny!

Quote:

Originally posted by Arvon:
Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
The Law of Reality

lol!

10-04-2003, 12:15 PM	#1
Arvon Unicorn Join Date: October 4, 2001 Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus Posts: 4,212	Unique Laws You've heard of Murphy's Law: Everything that can go wrong will go wrong. There are many other related Laws, as well. Here are some: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch. Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair Identical parts aren't. Beach's Law Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner. Anthony's Law of the Workshop Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come. Tussman's Law If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway. Lowery's Law The solution to a problem changes the problem. Peer's Law There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be solved by brute strength and ignorance. William's Law Handy Guide to Modern Science: If it's green or it wiggles, it's Biology. If it stinks, it's Chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's Physics. Machines should work. People should think. IBM's Pollyanna Principle The most ineffective workers will be systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage - management. The Dilbert Principle The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts. Ehrlich's Law It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry. Ralph's Observation If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire. Cannon's Comment Thinly sliced cabbage. Cole's Law Never accept a drink from a urologist, nor a friendly handshake from a proctologist. The Law of Common Sense Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose. The Law of Reality When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse. The Law of Avoiding Oversell Sometimes you are the dog. Sometimes you are the hydrant. Law of Physical Displacement Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege. Legal Rights Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed. Law of Probable Dispersal Be a good housekeeper. When you leave him ... get a good lawyer ...keep his house. Law Pertaining to Divorce __________________ 53.7% of all statistics are made up

10-04-2003, 03:12 PM	#2
Zuvio Gold Dragon Join Date: May 19, 2002 Location: Blessed are those who are not.... Age: 42 Posts: 2,556	"The most ineffective workers will be systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage - management." The Dilbert Principle Hear, hear!! This should be taught during my management classes! Good stuff Arvon __________________ [img]\"http://img121.exs.cx/img121/4236/zuviodemonnoname2hf.gif\" alt=\" - \" />

10-04-2003, 07:19 PM	#3
Mouse Ironworks Moderator Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Scotland Posts: 2,788	Thinly sliced cabbage. Cole's Law Nice one [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img] __________________ Regards Mouse (Occasional crooner and all round friendly Scottish rodent)

10-04-2003, 10:29 PM	#4
Bungleau 40th Level Warrior Join Date: October 29, 2001 Location: Western Wilds of Michigan Posts: 11,752	MacGyver's law, perhaps: If it doesn't move, and it should, use WD-40. If it moves, and it shouldn't, use duct tape. __________________ B Save Early, Save Often Save Before, Save After Two-Star General, Spelling Soldiers -+-+-+ Give 'em a hug one more time. It might be the last.

10-06-2003, 12:30 AM	#6
Harkoliar Jack Burton Join Date: March 21, 2001 Location: Philippines, but now Harbor City Sydney Age: 41 Posts: 5,556	laws eh?? .. i dug this up on the old email and posted this a long time ago.. time to post it up again [img]smile.gif[/img] enjoy! STRANGE SEX LAWS 1. In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense.) 2. In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror. (Makes you hope you never need surgery!) 3 . The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation. (Whoa!) 4 . There are men in Guam whose full time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time...Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry. (Let's just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?) 5 . In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired. (Ah! Justice!) 6 . Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in tropical fish stores. (But of course!) 7 . In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act. (Makes one shudder at the thought.) 8 . In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time. (This was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?) 9 . In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises." (Is this a great country or what? ... Not as great as Guam, though!!) __________________ Catch me if you can..

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