11-22-2004, 05:21 PM | #1 |
Horus - Egyptian Sky God
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Sleeping in Church
A man goes to the minister at his church. "Reverend," he said, we have a problem. My wife keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing, not to mention disrespectful. What can I do? "I've noticed this and have an idea if you're up to the task," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I can see when Mrs. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you. When I motion, you give her a good poke in the leg with the hatpin." In church the following Sunday, Mrs. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mr. Jones. "Jesus!" Mrs. Jones cried out as her husband jabbed her in the leg with the sharp .... hatpin. "Yes! You are correct, Mrs. Jones!" came the minister 's quick reply. Mrs. Jones then turned and glared angrily at her husband. Soon, Mrs. Jones again nodded off.. The minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning toward Mr. Jones. "My God!" howled Mrs. Jones as she was stuck again with the pin. "Right again!" bellowed the minister, a slight grin on his face. Mrs. Jones again gave her husband a real hard threatening glare. Before long though she again nodded off. This time however the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few hand gestures that Mr. Jones mistook as signals to sharply poke his wife with the hatpin again. The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?" Mrs. Jones jumped up and shouted, "You stick that thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it where the sun don't shine!" "Amen!" replied ALL the women in the congregation. |
11-22-2004, 05:28 PM | #2 |
Zartan
Join Date: May 20, 2003
Location: Near Aberdeen, Scotland
Age: 35
Posts: 5,225
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HAHA. Good one!
Although I'm sure I saw it a couple of months ago. Nice references to God though [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]
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11-22-2004, 05:29 PM | #3 |
Jack Burton
Join Date: July 19, 2003
Location: an expat living in France
Age: 38
Posts: 5,577
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Great one Dron! Had me laughing for a minute or two.
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11-22-2004, 05:30 PM | #4 |
Jack Burton
Join Date: May 15, 2001
Location: The Netherlands
Age: 39
Posts: 5,888
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LMAO [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img] Great one! [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]
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11-22-2004, 06:45 PM | #5 | |
Jack Burton
Join Date: May 16, 2003
Location: Dartmouth, NS Canada
Age: 58
Posts: 5,634
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Quote:
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A MAN WHO WANTS FOR NOTHING HAS INFINITE WEALTH. (me) |
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11-22-2004, 06:46 PM | #6 |
Jack Burton
Join Date: May 16, 2003
Location: Dartmouth, NS Canada
Age: 58
Posts: 5,634
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Oh, and as for this thread..
REPAINT YOU THINNER!!
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A MAN WHO WANTS FOR NOTHING HAS INFINITE WEALTH. (me) |
11-22-2004, 06:50 PM | #7 | |
Jack Burton
Join Date: July 19, 2003
Location: an expat living in France
Age: 38
Posts: 5,577
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Quote:
EDIT: nope, only 27 messages in there. It can take 60. Try sending it again. [ 11-22-2004, 06:51 PM: Message edited by: dplax ]
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11-22-2004, 07:19 PM | #8 | |
Horus - Egyptian Sky God
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Quote:
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11-22-2004, 07:37 PM | #9 | |
Thoth - Egyptian God of Wisdom
Join Date: May 10, 2002
Location: Dunedin, New Zealand.
Age: 42
Posts: 2,860
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Quote:
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[img]\"hosted/Hierophant.jpg\" alt=\" - \" /><br />Strewth! |
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11-22-2004, 08:42 PM | #10 |
Horus - Egyptian Sky God
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Ah, I see. What brought on the paint puns? [img]smile.gif[/img]
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