51 days...

[Variol (Farseer) Elmwood]

A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant blondes. They come up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. The corks are popped, the glasses are filled and they begin toasting and chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"

Soon, three more blondes arrive, take up their drinks and the chanting grows. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"

Two more blondes show up and soon their voices are joined in raising the roof. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"

Finally, the tenth blonde comes in with a picture under her arm. She walks over to the table, sets the picture in the middle and the table erupts.

Up jumps the others, they begin dancing around the table, exchanging high-fives, all the while chanting "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"

The bartender can't contain his curiosity any longer, so he walks over to the table. There in the center is a beautifully framed child's puzzle of the Cookie Monster. When the frenzy dies down a little bit, the bartender asks one of the blondes, "What's all the chanting and celebration about?"

The blonde who brought in the picture pipes in, "Everyone thinks that blondes are dumb and they make fun of us. So, we decided to set the record straight.

Ten of us got together, bought that puzzle and put it together. . .the side of the box said 2-4 years, but we put it together in 51 days!"

[Mack_Attack]

That was one of the better blonde jokes I have seen. [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]

[ 09-14-2006, 02:12 PM: Message edited by: Mack_Attack ]

[VulcanRider]

Pretty good. Try this one:

Two blondes drive into a lumberyard. The passenger gets out of the truck, walks up to a worker, and says she needs a bunch of four-by-twos.

"You mean two-by-fours?" the worker asks.

"Hm, I'm not sure," the blonde says. "I'll go check."

She walks back to the truck, and the two blondes consult a book.

"Yeah," she says after getting the answer. "I meant two-by-fours."

"All right," says the worker. "How long do you need them?"

This time, the sweet young thing didn't even need to consult the book.

"A really long time," she says. "We're gonna build a house."

[Variol (Farseer) Elmwood]

Too obvious..

[Lavindathar]

The first joke is old, and we use it with David Beckham instead of blondes.

And the second one is just old [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[Variol (Farseer) Elmwood]

Originally posted by Lavindathar: The first joke is old, and we use it with David Beckham instead of blondes. And the second one is just old [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Ok, your turn;

[Nightwing]

Two workmen are trying to figure out how tall a flag pole is they are working on. A blonde walks by and see's they are perplexed. She asks, "What are you guys doing"? They respond, "trying to figure out how tall this pole is." The blonde grabs a wrench, unscrews the holdings and lays it down, she grabs a tape measure and tells them "it is 30 feet."
The two men look at her and say "typical blond, we need to know how tall it is and she gives us the length."

[Lavindathar]

Did you get that the right way around?

Cos the way we say it would be this :

Two blondes are trying to figure out how tall a flag pole is they are working on. A man walks by and see's they are perplexed. He asks, "What are you girls doing"? They respond, "trying to figure out how tall this pole is." The man grabs a wrench, unscrews the holdings and lays it down, he grabs a tape measure and tells them "it is 30 feet."

The two blondes look at him and say "typical man, we need to know how tall it is and he gives us the length."

Just how we say it, cos then it takes the mick out of blondes [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Ok, my turn -

The room was full of pregnant women, with their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurances to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy.
She said: "Ladies: remember that exercise is GOOD for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier!"
She looked at the men in the room. "And gentlemen, remember: you're in this together. So it wouldn't hurt you to go walking with your partner." The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information. Then a man at the back of the room slowly raised his hand.
"Yes?" asked the teacher.
"I was just wondering," the man said, "is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"

Old I know, but old ones are the best!

[Nightwing]

I got it right it turns the tables, let's face it not all blondes are challenged.

[Lavindathar]

I know they're not...that's just the stereotype and usually what the jokes are based on.

Same as Irish being backwards etc. Not true, just jokes. Was only saying how we told it [img]smile.gif[/img]