Top morons of 2001?

[Garnet FalconDance]

Here are the top 8 morons of 2001

8) AT&T fired President John Walter saying he lacked intellectual leadership, then paid him a $26 million severance package.

7) OAKLAND, California Police Department spent 2 hours outside a home where a man was supposed to be armed and had barricaded himself inside. After firing 10 canisters of tear gas into the home, they found the man who was supposed to be inside, standing beside them in the Police line shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."

6) ILLINOIS MAN pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced the victim to drive him to two different ATM machines where the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money..... .FROM HIS OWN BANK ACCOUNT!!

5) MAN IN TOPEKA, KANSAS while robbing a "KWIK STOP MARKET" the robber decided that the take was too small. So, he tied up the clerk and put him into a back room while he worked the counter himself to gain more money. The clerk freed himself after 3 hours and called Police who showed up and grabbed him.

4) LOS ANGLES ROBBER, during a Police line up with the prime
suspect, police detective asked him to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot". The suspect shouted back to the Police, "That's not what I said".

3) EMERGENCY ROOM CALLER "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only 2 minutes apart" a man shouted into the phone. The Doctor calmly asked, "Is this her first child?" The man shouted back, "NO THIS IS HER HUSBAND"!

2) STEVEN RICHARD KING, while trying to rob a Bank of America branch in Modesto, CA and trying to use his hand to simulate a gun, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.

1) THE GRAND CHAMPION MORON OF 2001 this past summer on Lake Isabelle, located in the high desert an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they could not get their brand new 22 foot boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power was applied. After an hour they put into a marina, thinking someone could help them. Everything topside checked perfect. The engine ran fine and the prop checked out to be the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped into the water to check out underneath. He came up choking on water from laughing so hard. Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.

[Neb]

Heh, I'd like to add another contender....

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
- George W Bush, US President (for some reason)

[jabidas]

What a complete bunch of monkeys.

I heard about this one that happened a few years ago and am telling it in my own words.

Some extreme group of religious people like seventh seal baptists or something were having their annual meeting in Missisipi or was it florida? anyway they hired a boat and went into the swamp for privacy. While they were out there they had a mass and were chanting and so forth.

These guys came a long in a speed boat and heard them so they came over to jeer at them. They shouted something to the effect of Jesus walked on water why dont you try it.

The 17 or was it 13? promptly jumped overboard to proove thier devotion and were immediatly eaten by alligators, or crocediles or whatever frigging swamp things are out there. I think its a funny story anyway. Will get more definate details off my friend tomorrow if anyone wants them.

[skywalker]

quote:

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Originally posted by Neb:
Heh, I'd like to add another contender....

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
- George W Bush, US President (for some reason)

---

Please Neb....don't get me started!


Mark

[Neb]

quote:

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Originally posted by skywalker:


Please Neb....don't get me started!


Mark

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*Gets Mark started [img]tongue.gif[/img] *

Heh, at least it'll be fun to watch [img]tongue.gif[/img]

From a distance anyway....

[Jerome]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Neb:
Heh, I'd like to add another contender....

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
- George W Bush, US President (for some reason)

---

Don't forget:

"Most of our imports come from abroad."
- George W Bush.

[img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img]

[Arvon]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Garnet FalconDance:
Here are the top 8 morons of 2001

8) AT&T fired President John Walter saying he lacked intellectual leadership, then paid him a $26 million severance package.

7) OAKLAND, California Police Department spent 2 hours outside a home where a man was supposed to be armed and had barricaded himself inside. After firing 10 canisters of tear gas into the home, they found the man who was supposed to be inside, standing beside them in the Police line shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."

6) ILLINOIS MAN pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced the victim to drive him to two different ATM machines where the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money..... .FROM HIS OWN BANK ACCOUNT!!

5) MAN IN TOPEKA, KANSAS while robbing a "KWIK STOP MARKET" the robber decided that the take was too small. So, he tied up the clerk and put him into a back room while he worked the counter himself to gain more money. The clerk freed himself after 3 hours and called Police who showed up and grabbed him.

4) LOS ANGLES ROBBER, during a Police line up with the prime
suspect, police detective asked him to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot". The suspect shouted back to the Police, "That's not what I said".

3) EMERGENCY ROOM CALLER "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only 2 minutes apart" a man shouted into the phone. The Doctor calmly asked, "Is this her first child?" The man shouted back, "NO THIS IS HER HUSBAND"!

2) STEVEN RICHARD KING, while trying to rob a Bank of America branch in Modesto, CA and trying to use his hand to simulate a gun, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.

1) THE GRAND CHAMPION MORON OF 2001 this past summer on Lake Isabelle, located in the high desert an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they could not get their brand new 22 foot boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power was applied. After an hour they put into a marina, thinking someone could help them. Everything topside checked perfect. The engine ran fine and the prop checked out to be the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped into the water to check out underneath. He came up choking on water from laughing so hard. Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.

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Sorry this last one is an urban legend and not true. You can check this kind of story by going to www.snopes.com. They check on them for real or fiction.

[ 02-15-2002: Message edited by: Arvon ]

[Barry the Sprout]

To add to Neb's little input:

"I know a human being and fish can co-exist peacefully.".
- George W. Bush.

He never spoke a truer word, worryingly.

[fable]

Arvon, that's a great website, by the way. Thanks for pointing it out. [img]smile.gif[/img]

[Thoran]

Even if it's a urban legend it's funny!

very good stuff...

Our esteemed president definitely pulled a few Homers of the last year... "DOH!". Maybe we should Lay off GW and give him a $26 million severance package. [img]smile.gif[/img]