O.L.D. C.O.O.T.S. clan forming inquire within

[J.J.]

Originally posted by onthepequod: John D., Where can I apply? Also, do we get to wear silly "royal order of the water buffalo" type hats?

o t p, good to see you again, you can wear any damn kind of hat you want, as long as it don't block the TV, or advocate homeowners giving up their claymore mines and surface-to-air missiles.

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Unstinting Gaurdian of Children
Defender of Those Unable To

Official Pin-Up Girl Evaluator/Massager of the O.L.D. C.O.O.T.S. Clan
To Err is Human To Forgive Divine, However Neither is U.S. Marine Corps Policy.

[onthepequod]

Originally posted by J.J.: o t p, good to see you again, you can wear any damn kind of hat you want, as long as it don't block the TV, or advocate homeowners giving up their claymore mines and surface-to-air missiles.

S.A.M.s? Damn! When did we get those? Why didn't you guys tell me we had S.A.M.s? Why everyone knows there's no better weapon for chucker hunting!

Good to see you too J.J.

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[This message has been edited by onthepequod (edited 09-27-2001).]

[SSJ4Sephiroth]

it seems unlikely that i'll be admitted membership because im not old really, but i'll fill out the survey anyway . maybe i can still be granted membership...

1) Can you recit the Motto and purpose by heart?
A) Yes
B) No
C) I don't recite anything without my attorney present (You may discountinue the rest of the test you are our kinda people!)
What was the motto? i guess no...

2) Are you willing to pay DUES?
A)Yes, pease make a "Chashiers check Payable to "we sucker'em"
B) No, I got a spouse, mortagae, car payments, and have you seen my electeric bill nobody turns off the lights around here!
C) You have got to be kidding pay dues to an orginazation that doesn't supply beer, or anything NEKKED (southern for got no clothes on and up to NO GOOD!)
i will not pay for anything i cannot eat! can i munch on anyone here, then?

3) Do you remember disco?
A) Yes
B) No, I was under the influance of mind altering substances during disco
C) What did he say? (insert spouses name here)
i remember my parents talking about it...

4) Did You like Disco?
A) Yes, PLEASE step away from the computer and quitely wait for the men in the white suits to come pick you up (we know where you are at)
B) NO
C) I break into hives at the very mention of disco!
ive heard rumors, and i dont think i would...

5)Do you do any exercise other than 12oz or 16oz curls?
A) Yes
B) No
C) I pay people to exercise for me
not anymore, though i bet i could. only weigh 105 lbs anyways...

6) What color socks do you where while mowwing the lawn in your Favorite bermuda shorts nad holey t-shirt?
A) White
B) Black
C) Argiles
no, we hire someone to mow our lawn...

7) Do you embarrss your children?
A) Yes
B) no
C) We had them for our amussment right?
i embarrass other children, does that count?

8) Is it impossible for your boss to find his rear-end with both hands?
A) Yes
B) No
C) You bet! Hey wait a minute I am the boss! How many hands did you say could use?
i should certainly hope so, hes given me detention twice! heey, that means no he cant!

9) If stranded on the couch with-out the TV remote you would?
A) get up and look for it (Sorry you do not have what it takes to be an OLD COOTS)
B) Watch what ever was on TV even if it was "under water basket weaving".
C) Call the kids in from playing outside and make them change the channel.
depends on the time of day whether i get up or just watch whats on. or i just go back to sleep...

10) Do you enjoy chasing cats, dogs, and small children out of your yard?
A) Yes
B) No
C) I keep a box of smooth river rocks just for that purpose!
of course i do. they have no business intruding on my property!


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It's simple. Once the Planet is hurt, it gathers Spirit Energy to heal the injury. The amount of energy gathered depends on the size of the injury...What would happen if there was an injury that threatened the very life of the Planet? Think how much energy would be gathered! Ha, ha, ha. And at the center of that injury, wil be me. All that boundless energy will be mine. By merging with the energy of the Planet, I will be come a new life form, a new existence. Melding with the Planet, I will cease to exist as I am now. Only to be reborn as a 'God' to rule over every living soul.


What are you saying? Are you trying to tell me you have feelings now? Ha, ha, ha... Stop acting as if you're sad. And there's no need to act as if you're angry either. Because, Cloud, you are... a puppet.
Super Sephiroth, slayer of the Uber Fluffy, and battle co-ordionator and defender of the HADB clan.
Follower of the mighty Fallen Paladin himself.
Diplomacy is all and well, but HADB is better!
Dear and trusted friend of the Lioness.
Head of the IronWorks Intelligence Division
Extremely honored servant of Lioness

[John D Harris]

bumping for any more OLD COOTS applicants

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Airline ticket to Afghanistan $800
High powered rifle with scope $1000
Hotel room with roof access $100
A clean Head shot on that sack of Horse Manure Usuma Bin Laden PRICELESS!

All c's, LOL! This should prove to be an intresting clan. I am not putting it in my sig thow

[Father Bronze]

My wife won't let me apply and I am pretty sure that immediately disqualifies me from membership (even though I could fit some of the criteria very well).

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Most Subtle Official Straightman of the Laughing Hyenas -- Grammarian Brigade.

"The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom." -- Thomas Huxley

[onthepequod]

Originally posted by Father Bronze: My wife won't let me apply and I am pretty sure that immediately disqualifies me from membership (even though I could fit some of the criteria very well).

I'm sure she thought you said "I want to join the old liesure suit clan." And while knowing that you weren't asking for permission, she heartily said "no." She said it not becasue she was trying to deny you admission but because every ounce of her being told her that liesure suits are contrary to your very masculine, alpha male nature (not to mention your impecable taste). She knows you're a rugged, flannel sporting, "old coot" capable person. So pull yourself up by your boot straps and go get an admission form.

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[This message has been edited by onthepequod (edited 09-28-2001).]

[onthepequod]

OK John D. You can't just let this die. Even if it wasn't a serious offer. The idea of an old coot clan is just too intriguing. I vote for John D. for the position of "THE CRUSTIEST OLD COOT" (equivalent to the office of President).

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[Mouse]

I can't remember the questions, but I know that most of my teeth are my own.....oh, and I was born in the 1950's and can remember LP's and Elvis when he was thin......and how much bigger penny chews were back then.....

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Regards



Mouse
Zimmermeister of the OLD COOTS

[This message has been edited by Mouse (edited 09-28-2001).]

[Sir Taliesin]

Entrance Exam
1) Can you recit the Motto and purpose by heart?
A) Yes
B) No
C) I don't recite anything without my attorney present (You may discountinue the rest of the test you are our kinda people!)
I can do that.

2) Are you willing to pay DUES?
A)Yes, pease make a "Chashiers check Payable to "we sucker'em"
B) No, I got a spouse, mortagae, car payments, and have you seen my electeric bill nobody turns off the lights around here!
C) You have got to be kidding pay dues to an orginazation that doesn't supply beer, or anything NEKKED (southern for got no clothes on and up to NO GOOD!)
Sorry. No I can't pay dues, because all my extra money goes to my kids. Unless of course, you except old change found in the bottom of the washer. That's all my wife let's me have.

3) Do you remember disco?
A) Yes
B) No, I was under the influance of mind altering substances during disco
C) What did he say? (insert spouses name here)
Wasn't that there bunch of guys called the Bungees or somethin...?

4) Did You like Disco?
A) Yes, PLEASE step away from the computer and quitely wait for the men in the white suits to come pick you up (we know where you are at)
B) NO
C) I break into hives at the very mention of disco!
It ain't country or southern rock is it? No it ain't and no I don't.

5)Do you do any exercise other than 12oz or 16oz curls?
A) Yes
B) No
C) I pay people to exercise for me
I like to go for the quart bottles myself.

6) What color socks do you where while mowwing the lawn in your Favorite bermuda shorts nad holey t-shirt?
A) White
B) Black
C) Argiles
I only wear socks in the winter. Hell, that's the only time I wear shoes too. Come to think about it.

7) Do you embarrss your children?
A) Yes
B) no
C) We had them for our amussment right?
Ain't that what their for? That and changin' the TV channel when the little lady ain't around!

8) Is it impossible for your boss to find his rear-end with both hands?
A) Yes
B) No
C) You bet! Hey wait a minute I am the boss! How many hands did you say could use?
It ain't hard for him. Hell, it's as big as a Cadilac!

9) If stranded on the couch with-out the TV remote you would?
A) get up and look for it (Sorry you do not have what it takes to be an OLD COOTS)
B) Watch what ever was on TV even if it was "under water basket weaving".
C) Call the kids in from playing outside and make them change the channel.
Why, I call the "Ole Ball n Chain for that! Ain't that what I married her for?

10) Do you enjoy chasing cats, dogs, and small children out of your yard?
A) Yes
B) No
C) I keep a box of smooth river rocks just for that purpose!
That's what the shotgun and shells loaded with rock salt is for.

Thank you for particpating in this test you will be notified of your acceptance, provided I can get up off my lazy rear-end to do so.

Did I pass? If I did, I like to be on the Pin-up commitee with J.J. I'd also like to head up the Rod and Gun Club. Fishin' rods, shotguns, dogs and beer. The best things in life!




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Sir Taliesin



If they take my gun can I still use my Axe?