Moving South?

[John D Harris]

If you are from the northern states and planning on visiting or
moving to the South, there are a few things you should know that will
help you adapt to the difference in lifestyles:

The North has sun-dried toe-mah-toes,
The South has 'mater samiches.
The North has coffee houses
The South has Waffle Houses.
The North has dating services,
The South has family reunions.
The North has switchblade knives,
The South has Lee Press-on Nails.
The North has double last names,
The South has double first names.
The North has Ted Kennedy,
The South has Jesse Helms.
The North has an ambulance,
The South has an amalance.
The North has Indy car races,
The South has stock car races.
The North has Cream of Wheat,
The South has grits.
The North has green salads,
The South has collard greens.
The North has lobsters,
The South has crawdads.
The North has the rust belt,
The South has the Bible Belt.
If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a
four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly.
Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.... Don't buy food at this store.

Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all y'all's" is plural possessive.

Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are ya?"

You may hear a Southerner say "Ought!" to a dog or child. This is
short for "Y'all ought not do that!" and is the equivalent of saying "No!"

Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They
can't understand you either.

The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's
vocabulary is theadjective "big'ol," truck or "big'ol" boy. Most
Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of
them are in denial about it.
The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense here.
If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you
should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll
ever say.
If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the
smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local
grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just
have to go there.
When you come up on a person driving 15 mph down the middle of the
road, remember that most folks learn to drive on a John Deere, and that
is the proper speed and position for that vehicle.

Do not be surprised to find that 10-year-olds own their own shotguns,
they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.

In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green
lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.

AND REMEMBER:
If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will
accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the
oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.
Have a good day!


------------------

"the memories of a man in his old age,
are deeds of a man in his prime"

[onthepequod]

ROFL John D.

Thanks for clearing up the meaning of all y’all, for me. A number of years ago I teased a friend for using it, thinking she just made it up. It looks like she was just speaking proper Southern.


------------------

[RudeDawg]

Johnny D!!

THANK You for posting this!!!!

It's important that all y'all Northerners learn these iffen you decide to visit.

Most of the older folks can also spot yer origins just by your accent and regional usage of the Southern drawl/twang/sloe and the word usage.

------------------

The RudeDawg, known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes
"Let them come, Let them ALL come."
-"Ender says, 'The enemy is down.' "

[Gaelic]

Of course nobody will claim me. I'm a Virginian. The southerners want to call us yankees and the northerners all think we have accents.



------------------
Gaelic

[RudeDawg]

Originally posted by Gaelic: Of course nobody will claim me. I'm a Virginian. The southerners want to call us yankees and the northerners all think we have accents.

Think about me..

A Texas-born Mexican.

Here, they call me a wetback. Over there, they call me a "pocho", which translates as "wetback"...

I guess I have to live on the river...

------------------

The RudeDawg, known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes
"Let them come, Let them ALL come."
-"Ender says, 'The enemy is down.' "

[DawnChaser]

IWLTHTT <== "I Was Laughing Too Hard To Type" That is why I didn't respond sooner...

"And when they say 'Y'all come back now, y'hear!' they mean it, they probably haven't laughed so hard in a loooong time!"

------------------

[Keryvian]

John D, too funny! You left one off the list, though.

The North has roasted peanuts.
The South has 'bald' peanuts (boiled peanuts).

When my aunt first move to Georgia, she had several people mention 'bald' peanuts. She couldn't figure out what they meant. She finally had to have someone write it down for her.

------------------
Nid yw'r hoff o lyfr yn fyr o gyfaill.

[kiwidoc]

The south?? THE SOUTH?? You call that the south - nah let me tell you about the real south

The north has - Hi!
The south has - Yeah gidday eh!

The north has pie carts
The south has kai carts

The north has fiddling with something
The south has toottooing

The north has damn
The south has bugger (nb bugger = noun, adverb, adjective, verb transitive, verb intranstive, conjunctival verb and preposition - a wonderfully versitile word indeed!)

The north has holiday homes
The south has baches

The north has beaches - patches of sand with row after row of deck chairs, volleyball players, towels and sand castles.
The south has beaches - long reaches of sand with just you and nobody else in sight

The north has scallops in fish and chip shops – slices of potatoes in batter
The south has scallops in fish and chip shops – and mussels and oysters as well


The north has worries
The south has - no worries mate

The north has excellence
The south has choice eh

The north has homeboys
The south has cousie bros

The north has standards
The south has - she'll be right

The north has people, people and more people. The south has 3 million people and twenty million sheep spread out over a land the size of all of the UK plus Ireland, or all of California. The south has space - and plenty of it. The south is so laid back its horizontal. The south has the southern most golf course in the world – and probably the wettest. It has country stores that sell you everything! The north has smog and traffic jams and London fogs. The south has clear crisp skies that draw filmmakers from all over the world. The south has quarter acres sections and houses with caravans and boats in the drive, and four weeks at the beach over summer with Aunty Mary and Uncle John and cousins and family everywhere. The south isn’t New Zealand – its Godzone, New Zild and we love it!



------------------
There is only one kiwidoc, accept no substitutes

STANDARD OPERATING PROCEEDURE
www.judyhope.co.uk

[onthepequod]

Originally posted by Keryvian: John D, too funny! You left one off the list, though. The North has roasted peanuts. The South has 'bald' peanuts (boiled peanuts). When my aunt first move to Georgia, she had several people mention 'bald' peanuts. She couldn't figure out what they meant. She finally had to have someone write it down for her.

I tried boiled peanuts a year ago ....hated them!

I bought them at the fair here in Minnesota. I should have known better because a) this vendor was the only one without a line and b) Billy Joe Bob, who looked like he was from backwoods Arkansas where he lived with his family vine, was selling them. My curiosity often gets me into trouble.





------------------

[Lord of Alcohol]

Also the police are called po-leace, towns like Pineville and Monroe are pronounced Paanvul and Mun-ro