A Question For The Men And One For The Women

[onthepequod]

I am wondering how many of you men purposefully hold doors for women? How many of you would give up your seat on the bus for a lady? Is there anything else of this nature that you men do for women?

Ladies! How many of you appreciate this sort of behavior? How many dislike this sort of treatment? What is your favorite, of this type of treatment (i.e having the door held, etc…)?


[This message has been edited by onthepequod (edited 05-24-2001).]

Yes, I let ladies through the doors - get good view of ass on way out! (j/k)
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Seat on bus? only if old or infirm (or wanting to sit next to friend)
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Used to be one of the most gallant men on Earth, but a couple of not-nice g/fs changed all that.




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In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is pimp

[Larry_OHF]

Us southerners are known throughout the states for our hospitality and courteousness.
What I am saying is yes to all the above.
It is the way we are raised. I have never found a woman in the South that did not expect anything less of me, or anyone else. They grow up knowing our part in the program.

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Larry, a loyal guardian of the OHF, and devoted member of the Ironworks

Originally posted by onthepequod: Ladies! How many of you appreciate this sort of behavior? How many dislike this sort of treatment? What is your favorite of this types of treatment (i.e having the door held, etc…)?

I appreciate it! I even reciprocate! If ever I am entering or exiting a building and someone else is approaching the other side of the door, I'll hold it for them~man, woman, child or adult, it doesn't matter.

I only dislike a door being held for me when it is done by a man who waits an inappropriate length of time for me to reach it with "that look" in his eye...it really gives me the creeps!

My fav would be being "helped" into my chair in a restaurant or cafe...it shows respect an everyone around us can see just how special I am...or he is for doing it!


Moni

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[This message has been edited by Moni (edited 05-24-2001).]

[catzenpewters]

Hmmm... here's a female perspective:

I hold open doors for the person behind me, regardless of age, sex or whatever. It's just the polite thing to do. I hate it when someone lets the door slam in my face. Having a guy do it for me is appreciated though, as this common courtesy is all to uncommon sometimes.

I will give up my seat on the bus to someone elderly or infirm, whether they are male or female (although during rush hour I get very annoyed with all the elderly people who choose to ride at the busiest time when they don't have to). I definitely appreciate it when a guy offers me his seat, but I don't expect it. I sure don't think he should feel obligated.

There are a lot of 'gentlemanly' gestures like getting the car door or pulling out your chair or whatever that have gone out of style as some women consider it their feminist duty to point out that they're perfectly capable of doing it htemselves. I partially agree - I'm capable of standing, opening doors and moving chairs. But that doesn't mean I don't appreciate the courtesy - my assumption is that one the guy is trying to be polite (and impress), not that he thinks me incapable of doing it myself! I also want the guy to be able to handle it if I get the door for HIM (although I confess the thought of pulling out a chair for a date has never crossed my mind).

It is a bit stereotypical to say, but Canadians are for the most part a very polite society. I think something like 20% thank the bank machine for heavens sake. I always thank the bus driver, if I bump into someone I say I'm sorry. If someone steps on my foot, I apologize (!). Heck, I even pat the printer when it's doing a good job (and it never breaks down on ME).

Bottom line: yes, I appreciate the courtesies, though demand nor expect none from strangers. Any friend who let the door slam in my face though would get a look that would kill

[onthepequod]

Originally posted by catzenpewters: Hmmm... here's a female perspective: There are a lot of 'gentlemanly' gestures like getting the car door or pulling out your chair or whatever that have gone out of style as some women consider it their feminist duty to point out that they're perfectly capable of doing it htemselves. I partially agree - I'm capable of standing, opening doors and moving chairs. But that doesn't mean I don't appreciate the courtesy - my assumption is that one the guy is trying to be polite (and impress), not that he thinks me incapable of doing it myself! I also want the guy to be able to handle it if I get the door for HIM (although I confess the thought of pulling out a chair for a date has never crossed my mind).

You're right. It's a matter of respect and not that we believe women to be incapable.

One of the reasons I ask this question is that I find it difficult to get a woman to take my seat on the bus. So, being stubborn about it, I stand anyhow and let the seat remain empty until she takes it. However, now I have resorted to calculating how many women will get on after me and if there are not enough seats I won’t take one in the first place. I’ll just stand and let everyone go by. Boy sometimes it’s difficult to be polite.

[Sazerac]

Yes, I routinely hold doors for women (actually for anyone who is behind me, male or female), and would give up my seat on a bus to someone (if I rode buses). I have relinquished my seat at the lunch table for one of the lady instructors and have eaten standing up at the cabinets instead when there were too many people in the lunchroom.

If I'm driving, however, I assume the female is perfectly capable of opening her own car door. Most of the time they're out of the car before I am, anyway. It depends on who I'm with and what her level of expectation is. If it's a female of my peer group, I play it by ear. If it's a woman who is significantly older than I, I will offer to push in her chair for her at table, help her with the door, etc.

[Epona]

I always hold doors open for people. I expect others to do the same for me, it's not nice to let a door slam in someone's face. BUT I don't like it when a man holds a door open and says 'after you', I would want him to go through first and then hold the door so it didn't slam in my face. I have done nothing to deserve going through the door first. I like courtesy, but don't believe that courtesy should be based on gender. I would never be rude to anyone who held open a door to let me through first though, I just would feel uncomfortable.

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Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

Epona of The Laughing Hyenas

I do all of the above no matter who it is. Hey Catzenpewters I used to live in Victoria for 11 years.

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[WOLFGIR]

I hold up doors for woman, I always give up my seat for thoose that need it more or ladies. I always offer to take a ladies coat (not to run away with, promise )

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Yawning lazywolf..