Serious topic for Fathers...Mothers may be offended...

[TheDutkanator]

I am a new father. My son is 10 months old. We are expecting another boy in 3 months. I feel for you man. Honestly, I can't stand when my baby cries. He literally screams when he is bored, stuck, can't do something, hungry, etc. Sometimes I get so frustrated with it, that I scream back. Usually he's so surprised with my reaction, he just looks at me with amazement. Or maybe it's just the shear volume and tone of my yell. Either way, he usually stops. Sometimes he just cries more. When this happens, I pick him up and tell him, "It's ok. Daddy didn't mean to yell. I just don't like to hear you screaming." Honestly, I can't wait until he can walk and listen to what I say. That way, when he acts up, I can send him to his room. If he cries, send him to his room. I will always explain why I do things to him. I can recall being punished many times by parents/guardians and feeling the punishment unjust. I do feel that, had they explained the reasoning to me, I still would've been mad, but not at them because I would've believed that they were right.

I guess what I'm getting at is this: ALL parents get stressed and tense when raising kids. Kids are NOT what they are made out to be. Crying DOES irritate people. Some people can handle these and other stressors better than others. WALK AWAY!! Not always an option (for more than a min. anyway), but it works. Whenever I'm around my boy, it's always right after work. After working all night, I don't want to hear screaming. If it happens, I leave. Go outside, go in another room, or leave FAR FAR AWAY!! j/k At any rate, you should definately make it a point to leave your children with a babysitter for at least 1 FULL day each month. (I use my mom cuz it's free) This should help deal with some of that stress.



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Let's get'em guen!

"I'm sorry, did I kill you?" -TheDutkanator

[Larry_OHF]

Originally posted by TheDutkanator: I am a new father. My son is 10 months old. We are expecting another boy in 3 months. I feel for you man. Honestly, I can't stand when my baby cries. He literally screams when he is bored, stuck, can't do something, hungry, etc. Sometimes I get so frustrated with it, that I scream back. Usually he's so surprised with my reaction, he just looks at me with amazement. Or maybe it's just the shear volume and tone of my yell. Either way, he usually stops. Sometimes he just cries more. When this happens, I pick him up and tell him, "It's ok. Daddy didn't mean to yell. I just don't like to hear you screaming." Honestly, I can't wait until he can walk and listen to what I say. That way, when he acts up, I can send him to his room. If he cries, send him to his room. I will always explain why I do things to him. I can recall being punished many times by parents/guardians and feeling the punishment unjust. I do feel that, had they explained the reasoning to me, I still would've been mad, but not at them because I would've believed that they were right. I guess what I'm getting at is this: ALL parents get stressed and tense when raising kids. Kids are NOT what they are made out to be. Crying DOES irritate people. Some people can handle these and other stressors better than others. WALK AWAY!! Not always an option (for more than a min. anyway), but it works. Whenever I'm around my boy, it's always right after work. After working all night, I don't want to hear screaming. If it happens, I leave. Go outside, go in another room, or leave FAR FAR AWAY!! j/k At any rate, you should definately make it a point to leave your children with a babysitter for at least 1 FULL day each month. (I use my mom cuz it's free) This should help deal with some of that stress.

You have a 10 month old, and are expecting another! Oh...man...My wife just mentioned today that if she were to be pregnant right now, (our girl is 1yr) she would break. We could not imagine having another right now.
I am mainly writing because you are the first person to respond to my thread to say exactly what I feel, and left left out in my original message. Thank you for bringing it to light. I was a field captin and Quarter Master in my High School Marching band because I had the loudest voice. I have silenced my child the same way you said that you did. I showed her that there was a bigger baby than her It is used only when needed, though. As of late, when she hears that voice. She quickly understands that whatever she is doing should stop. Once, it may have saved her from getting hurt, as she had found some scissors that had fallen to the floor, and was waving them around when I stepped into the room. I said DROP IT!!! so loud, I bet my neighbors dropped everything in their hands at that moment! She knew exactly what to do, without thought. I know that is going a bit off the subject, and maybe viewed as rationalization for screaming at my child, but she knows that my loud voice means that it is time to listen to what daddy has to say.
It all goes back to my mom and me. She used to come in drunk, and we would have fights where she screamed at me, and I finally learned how to be louder. Then, when I did get louder than my mom, she would stop, and actually sober up some. The fight at least ended there. I have never used that voice on my wife, and will never need to. The older my child gets, the less likely I am to use it, because I don't wan to teach her that. Yet, I cannot get over how effective it is. Sorry for my on-going running of the mouth here. I am just glad to see that I am not the only father in the world that has it tough. It makes me feel not so ashamed. I am not saying that any of our responses to the problem is the correct one, but nobody (especially one without children) can tell me it is the wrong one.
I will speak more on disipline in a bit.



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