Jokes

[Lifetime]

Some jokes I came up with..

Its Christmas Eve and a family decides to go to a really posh and swanky restaurant for dinner. They're having a good, traditional Christmas Eve feast, when suddenly the youngest son in the family begins to choke on a coin hidden in the Christmas Pudding. Scared to death, his father begins yelling to the other patrons in the restaurant, "Help! My son is choking to death on a coin!"
Suddenly, a man gets up and runs to their table, grabs the son by the testicles and gives a good solid squeeze. With a grunt, the son hurls out the coin and begins to breathe normally. Amazed, the father thanks the man and says, "Incredible! I've never seen that one done by any doctor before!"
To which the man replies, "I'm not a doctor. I work for the tax department"

[Lifetime]

Three men are taking a leak in a bathroom. After finishing their business, they queue up to use the single sink in the toilet.
The first man uses tonnes of soap and water and scrubs his hands thoroughly, then says, "In Oxford, we learn to thoroughly sanitise".
Then the second man steps up, uses less soap and water, but still scrubs a fair bit and says, "In Cambridge, we learn to sanitise, but protect the environment." They both walk out.
Then the third man rinses his hands and dries them on his pants and says, "In Australia, we learn not the piss on our hands."

[Scholarcs]

Hey those are good jokes! Thanks for posting!