D&D Top Ten Lists!

JUST what I needed this morn!!! Thanks

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~Garnet FalconDance~

• Guardian of the Forests
  
• Ranger-Protectoress of Ironworks
  
• Scourge of Hobgoblins and Assorted Bad Nasties Everywhere![/list]

[Neb]

ROFL Groj! Keep up the good work!

(Blasted Flood-Control.)

[Grojlach]

Top Ten Spells That Never Made It

1. Berman's Death-to-the-Caster.
2. Power word, fart.
3. Gelatinous Shell (immediately surrounds the caster in a gelatinous cube).
4. Safe fall (like feather fall, but makes you weigh as much as a 12 ton bank vault).
5. Polymorph Udder (a highly specialized spell which only affects female cattle).
6. Stinking Klaus (summons a fat, smelly German business man, who chases your enemies while eating an Oktoberfest sausage and belching).
7. Magnetskin (a variation of stoneskin - makes the caster's skin magnetic, giving all metallic weapons a +10 bonus to hit).
8. Meatier Swarm (large chunks of ground chuck rain to the ground).
9. Polymorph any Omelet.
10. Fireballs (sets the target's testicles on fire - very effective, but a bit too kinky for TSR).


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Not a member of any clan and is cool with that.
Talk about anything you want at The Elysium
For online roleplaying, check The Elysium Gaming Project

[This message has been edited by Grojlach (edited 11-02-2001).]

[Grojlach]

Top Ten Signs You Play Too Much ADnD

1. Someone says "Why do you have all those numbers tattooed on your hand?", and you reply "Those aren't tattoos, they're die imprints."
2. Your elven fighter has had sex within the last six years - and you haven't.
3. You decide to play a zombie, just so you and your character can have the same skin color.
4. You've been surviving so long on Doritos, Coke, and pizza that your body now contains more plastic than your dice.
5. You can recite, verbatim, every single rule from the DMG….but you can't remember how many kids you have.
6. You sign personal correspondences with your character's name.
7. After months of work, you have made up the entire dwarven language - words, rules of vocabulary, the whole lot. You are bilingual, and can now speak fluid dwarven. Your friends stare at you strangely, and no one will sit on the same side of the table as you.
8. Drug addict and alcoholic friends of yours often stop you to say "Dude, get a grip".
9. Your "If I won the lottery" plans involve creating: (a) a really cool AD&D room, or (b) hiring actors to play monsters so that you and your friends can play AD&D for real.
10. You'd rather get a natural 18 when rolling character statistics than win the lottery.

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Not a member of any clan and is cool with that.
Talk about anything you want at The Elysium
For online roleplaying, check The Elysium Gaming Project

[Neb]

Originally posted by Grojlach: Top Ten Signs You Play Too Much ADnD 1. Someone says "Why do you have all those numbers tattooed on your hand?", and you reply "Those aren't tattoos, they're die imprints." 2. Your elven fighter has had sex within the last six years - and you haven't. 3. You decide to play a zombie, just so you and your character can have the same skin color. 4. You've been surviving so long on Doritos, Coke, and pizza that your body now contains more plastic than your dice. 5. You can recite, verbatim, every single rule from the DMG….but you can't remember how many kids you have. 6. You sign personal correspondences with your character's name. 7. After months of work, you have made up the entire dwarven language - words, rules of vocabulary, the whole lot. You are bilingual, and can now speak fluid dwarven. Your friends stare at you strangely, and no one will sit on the same side of the table as you. 8. Drug addict and alcoholic friends of yours often stop you to say "Dude, get a grip". 9. Your "If I won the lottery" plans involve creating: (a) a really cool AD&D room, or (b) hiring actors to play monsters so that you and your friends can play AD&D for real. 10. You'd rather get a natural 18 when rolling character statistics than win the lottery.

11. You make D&D Top Ten Lists.

[Mitro Jellywadder]

These are tooooo funny

4. The DM chuckles, and says "I spent seven hours rolling this guy up".
5. The bad guy burps, and a human toe flies out of his mouth.

4. Your 15th level thief just had the snot kicked out of him by an eight year old girl.

9. Trees can, and often do, explode in huge, 20d6 hit die fireballs. No explanation is ever offfered.

9. The bad guy keeps Elminster in a cage, and occasionally pokes him with a fork.

Keep up the good work!


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Keeper of Lost Cause
Sazerac Artwork:Limited Edition #145 (Signed)
If things got any better, I'd be twins.

[Grand-Ranger]

HAHHAHA!!!

Man those are good, I liked the "Your Dm is too hard" ones and You Play Too much DND ones.

Priceless.

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So if in the forest look behind you, because that where the ranger is going to be

Grand-Jester and Spam Monitor of Laughing Hyenas
Messenger of the Emerald Dragon

May a pregnant yak chew on your ear for all eternity.
A guitar solo is to a guitarsist is what a palette is too a painter.
"...But I look at my self as a fragile, inteligent,human being. But there is a clown inside that comes and messes it up everytime" -Jim Morrison

GO DEVILS!!!!

ROFLMAO

Grojlach you are just a plain nut.

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[Grojlach]

Originally posted by BladeMaster: ROFLMAO Grojlach you are just a plain nut.

Well thanks a lot Vic.
Anyway I've found a lot more D&D humour, enough to last the rest of the month, but it's best to bring it to you in small doses.

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Not a member of any clan and is cool with that.
Talk about anything you want at The Elysium
For online roleplaying, check The Elysium Gaming Project

Very funny Grojlach! I especially liked the "Top Ten Things Your Berserker Would Never Say".

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Where there are monsters and barbarians there will be Byronas fighting against them.
Leader of Keldorn's Order