THE GAEL SERRAN EXAMINER 16th EDITION

[Sazerac]

THE GAEL SERRAN EXAMINER
Sazerac, Editor

STOUT MINES AT FULL CAPACITY, WORKERS DISGRUNTLED

Our latest report is focused on the Stout Mines, where reports have surfaced that King Freyedies has ordered a 150 percent increase in gross capital output from the mines, sending many of the already overworked miners into a morale tailspin and precipitating threats of a strike. A rumor that the King even has Stouts mining in the throne room has been substantiated, as shown in the following candid photo:



Needless to say, the workers are far from pleased. Many of them are already putting in 16-hour shifts at the mine, and now are being called upon to put in 20-hour shifts to make up for the increase in the mining payload, without commeasurate pay. Angry stout miners have been banding together, and yet another rumor that a union of stout workers has formed has also been substantiated. This organization, known as the Stout Mine United Teamsters (SMUT) is threatening a full-fledged strike unless King Freyedies gives in to their demands. The union leader, one Raskalion, made this statement earlier:

"That tyrant Freyedies is going to find out that you can't push your own people around and expect to get by with it forever! We've been working these mines for decades and have nothin' to show for it! We've got stouts going crazy at is it with being overworked. It's time we pushed for better working conditions, better hours, and better pay! Stouts Unite! Solidarity! SMUT forever!"

Our reporter in the mines was able to obtain an interview with King Freyedies about the SMUT goings on in the mines.


"I'm not averse to granting the workers an organization," Freyedies was quoted as saying, "but they simply have to understand that we've got to increase output to keep the mine as a going concern. Lately there has been a severe run on Dragon Armor, brought about by an unprecedented number of adventurers visiting the mines. The writ system I instituted simply is not working. I've heard rumors to the effect that they [adventurers] are bribing their way into the mines with some orcish brew from up in the Northlands! I'm working as hard as the rest of my people to meet the demand. They must understand that we must all pull together through this crisis, or else we'll never make it through."

The stout workers are not impressed with the King's statement. "Just ask any of the guards," one of them said. "You'll see the massive wealth Freyedies has locked up in that giant treasury of his. It's time he started tapping on THAT rather than killing us with increased workload! Until he puts his money where his fat piehole is, we're not budging one inch on our demands!"

The stouts could be heard raising their voices in song as they left the meeting:

Look for the SMUT label,
When you are buying your armor and gems,
Remember somewhere, a Stout is slaving,
to bring you weapons, and bracers, and diadems!

Oh yes we work hard, but who's complaining?
Thanks to SMUT we can afford our own land!
So always look for the SMUT label,
it says we're able to make it in the Gael Serran!

"Well," Freyedies admitted, "at least it sounds a lot better than that other ridiculous ditty they used to sing. 'Singin' my song all the day long . . ' It got to where it gave me a massive headache!"

The crisis is far from over. As of last report, Raskalion has been reported missing. Some believe he is in hiding from reputed sources who have contracts out on his life. A massive search for the SMUT leader is being conducted as this report is going out.

Keep watching for updates on the Crisis at the Stout Mines through the Gael Serran Examiner. Remember: Minds that need examining want to KNOW!

-Sazerac, Editor

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[This message has been edited by Sazerac (edited 03-29-2001).]

One Word:

ROFLMFAO!

; )
Moni

[Scronan]

Bravo once again Saz! Those poor stouts.....hmmm....I think they may have an unexpected visitor very soon....

Ha ha!



Scronan

[Jason]

Good One Saz!!!!!! Keep It Up!!!!!!

[Wyvern]

Excellent!!!!!!! A true gem!!!!!


I'll be checking all my dragon armor for the SMUT label!!!

Wyv


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[mammawlin]

Meet Uncle Bill

He says "I hope those SMUT guys do go on strike cause that's when a scab like me makes the most money! ha ha ha"


Good one, Saz!
Mammawlin

[adam warlock]

wait until the stout unions hear about this...

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Adam Mage/Warlock