Kids, don't cross the line...

That's gotta hurt....

Off-Topic Note to Politicians across the globe: See what happens when you pass an Anti-Spanking/Hitting law?

[Thoran]

Originally posted by The Whackmiester: That's gotta hurt.... Off-Topic Note to Politicians across the globe: See what happens when you pass an Anti-Spanking/Hitting law?

Sales of Playstation 2's drop?

Originally posted by Sir Kenyth: I also can't stress enough that the other kids your child hangs around with have a huge impact on their behavior! My son didn't decide to skip by himself! Almost all the big trouble he's been in has been with a "problem" child in the neighborhood. It may seem mean, but you have to chose your kids friends wisely. That means forbidding certain kids from coming around. The best way to control your childs environment and peers is by putting them in organized activities. Problem kids are rarely in any organized activity that costs their parents money. Remember, many times problem kids have problem parents. Sports, Boy Scouts, after school groups, church youth, etc. These are all good choices. Keep involved in your kids life. Get aquainted with other parents in the area. That way, you can trade off nights to take a group of kids to do something fun under adult supervision or have them over at your house. Don't leave kids alone for extended periods and keep them social and busy having good clean fun. You remember the old saying that idle hands are the devils playground. Good parenting means more than knowing how to punish your kids.

Hmm... So you mean...

1. Invade their privacy?
2. Exploit their Fears, Weaknesses, etc.?

[Sir Kenyth]

Originally posted by The Whackmiester: quote: Originally posted by Sir Kenyth: I also can't stress enough that the other kids your child hangs around with have a huge impact on their behavior! My son didn't decide to skip by himself! Almost all the big trouble he's been in has been with a "problem" child in the neighborhood. It may seem mean, but you have to chose your kids friends wisely. That means forbidding certain kids from coming around. The best way to control your childs environment and peers is by putting them in organized activities. Problem kids are rarely in any organized activity that costs their parents money. Remember, many times problem kids have problem parents. Sports, Boy Scouts, after school groups, church youth, etc. These are all good choices. Keep involved in your kids life. Get aquainted with other parents in the area. That way, you can trade off nights to take a group of kids to do something fun under adult supervision or have them over at your house. Don't leave kids alone for extended periods and keep them social and busy having good clean fun. You remember the old saying that idle hands are the devils playground. Good parenting means more than knowing how to punish your kids.

Hmm... So you mean...

1. Invade their privacy?
2. Exploit their Fears, Weaknesses, etc.? [/QUOTE]Privacy is a priveledge until you are on your own and old enough to vote. Sorry kid, we're held responsible for you by the law, so we should take our responsibility seriously. The problem with being a kid is that you don't know what you don't know. Another thing, how in the sam-hell is involving kids in good clean fun and keeping them out of trouble exploiting their weaknesses? Helping them reach their potential is more like it!

[Thoran]

IMO children have no "right to privacy". They do however earn a "privilege to privacy" as they grow older and establish that they can responsibly handle the privilege, although even that is not without limits.

I and my wife reserve the right to enter any room in our house... there are no locks on our kids bedrooms... there are no computers, phones, or televisions in our kids rooms either (not that a tv would do much for them since we cancelled our cable).

Anything they do online is subject to logging and review. They do have passwords on their domain accounts (so they have privacy from each other), but I can access anything on any system in the house (from anywhere... even if I'm away on business).

If something is up we'll ask the boy about it, if he's evasive we'll dig until we find out what we want to know... and digging can involve nagging, threatening, interrogating, and going through EVERY SINGLE THING THEY OWN.

In this manner my wife found a note by a disturbed girl to our 13 year old where she talks in detail about suicide, sex and being raped by some boys in school. We went to the school with this and they had no interest in addressing the note AT ALL. We pulled him out of school shortly thereafter.

We don't expect to make all decisions for our kids, but we do let them know that their decisions, good and bad, are open to review. Our 13 year old is able to set his own bedtime, but if he's cranky the next day because he was reading until 1am. he gets to go to bed at 8 the next night.

Being a good parent means absolutely invading your childrens privacy... knowing whats going on in their lives. As they get older they'll push back more and more at this, and that too is to be expected. If their behavior merits it you give ground, otherwise you make their life miserable until they comply. Being a kid is tough, being a parent is tougher.

Exploiting fears and weaknesses? Well sometimes it's a parents job to apply a dose of reality to a kid. If he fears getting into a good college but he's still not working hard enough at his school work it's a parents job to point out that working at McDonalds isn't going to buy the shiny car he's got his eyes on. If that's exploiting fears then so be it. Good parents don't malevolently manipulate their kids but they will certainly use whatever methods are required to achive the desired goal... a productive, happy, self-actualized, successful, etc... individual (and one who's NOT living over your garage at 25).

Lest this sound too horrible an existance to contemplate, our kids get away with a lot. We don't expect adult level responsibility out of a 13 year old. I subscribe to the notion that a certain degree of irresponsibility keeps life interesting. We got a new Garden Tractor last weekend (24 horse Cub Cadet) and our 13 year old immediately challenged me to a drag race (he's painted racing stripes on our old one)... I took him handily, although he had the more impressive wheelie (can't pop wheelies with a hydrostatic transmission ). My wife just rolled her eyes.

[ 06-29-2004, 02:29 PM: Message edited by: Thoran ]

[Sir Kenyth]

As far as exploiting weaknesses goes, the whole world does it in one fashion or another. I get a feeling you mean the common threats of having priveledges taken away or the "If you don't like it, get out." mentality. You see it as exploiting your weaknesses because you can't take care of yourself yet. If you think your parents are bad, wait'll you get a load of people who DON'T care about and love you! They'll happily let you go about doing whatever you want, even if it kills you or mars your life forever, and when you're down, they'll pass you by without a second look, much less a hand! Charity is a scarce thing in this world.

[Jorath Calar]

Here is another "revenge auction"

[img]smile.gif[/img]

[Dron_Cah]

LOL! Thats just a sad story. Hear those all too often too.

[Lauren]

Hmm...that is a very interesting story.... Ebay, the one and only daytime soaps site...lol hehe [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[ 06-30-2004, 09:13 AM: Message edited by: Lauren ]

[Sir Kenyth]

She want's to get back at him by selling his unused, never needed neck ties?

*In a monotone bored voice*

Don't, Stop, Please, No, Don't, Stop, Ouch, Mercy, Please..............................

[ 07-01-2004, 11:44 AM: Message edited by: Sir Kenyth ]