Some unfortunate realities about Santa

[MILAMBER]

SOME FACTS ABOUT SANTA CLAUS
>
> 1) No known species of reindeer can fly. But there are 300,000 species of
> living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects
> and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer which only
> Santa has ever seen.
>
> 2) There are 2 billion children in the world (persons under 18). But since
> Santa doesn't (appear to) handle Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, or Buddhist
> children, that reduces the workload by 85% of the total - leaving 378
> million according to the Population Reference Bureau. At an average
> (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One
> presumes there is at least one good child per house.
>
> 3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different
> time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west
> (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is
> to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has
> 1/1000 th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the
> chimney, dragging the bag of presents through, put the remaining presents
> under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the
> chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming
> that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the
> earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our
> calculations we will accept), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per
> household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting stops to do
> what most of us do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding, etc. That
> means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3000 times the
> speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on
> earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a
> conventional reindeer can run, at tops 25-30 miles per hour.
>
> 4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming
> each child gets nothing more then a medium sized LEGO set (2 lbs), the
> sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably
> described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more
> than 300 pounds. Even granting the 'flying reindeer' can pull TEN TIMES
> that normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine - we need
> 214,200 reindeer. This increased the payload--not even counting the weight
> of the sleigh--to 353,430 tons. Again for comparison, this is four times
> the weight of the HMS Queen Elizabeth.
>
> 5) 353,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air
> resistance. This will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as
> spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair will absorb
> 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy per second, each. In short, they will
> burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind
> them, and creating a deafening sonic boom in their wake. The entire
> reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa
> meanwhile, will be subject to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater
> than gravity. A 250 lb Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned
> to the back of the sleigh by a 4,315,015 pound force. In conclusion, if
> Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas eve, he's now dead.
>

[Sir ReGiN]

Shut your pie-hole! [img]tongue.gif[/img]
You obviously don't know that santa is no ordinary human being...Santa can do anything!

[Barb]

Santa would have to visit 1 home every second which to me suggests that he is really a mage that casts a spell to stop time, then works for say 5 years delivering presents (using his private jet reindeers cant fly) and then starts time. So in theory we are 5n+n years older than we thought if n = our age.

Interesting [img]smile.gif[/img]

[LennonCook]

I love It, I love It.
Especially the scientific facts behind it!!!

[Lifetime]

quote:

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Originally posted by MILAMBER:

> 5) 353,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air
> resistance. This will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as
> spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair will absorb
> 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy per second, each. In short, they will
> burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind
> them, and creating a deafening sonic boom in their wake. The entire
> reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa
> meanwhile, will be subject to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater
> than gravity. A 250 lb Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned
> to the back of the sleigh by a 4,315,015 pound force. In conclusion, if
> Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas eve, he's now dead.
>

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Mmmmmm.. Exploding Reindeer. *POOOF*

[Grand-Ranger]

Yall really do take all the fun outta christmas... [img]smile.gif[/img]

They forgot to add the weight and all of the extra elf helper he brings along.

But you know, I think the "elfs" are much more gnomelike. In DnD terms anyway.

[Talthyr Malkaviel]

quote:

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Originally posted by Barb:
Santa would have to visit 1 home every second which to me suggests that he is really a mage that casts a spell to stop time, then works for say 5 years delivering presents (using his private jet reindeers cant fly) and then starts time. So in theory we are 5n+n years older than we thought if n = our age.

Interesting [img]smile.gif[/img]

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Hmmmm, well actually if it was a time stop, he'd be doing it all between the second, time wouldn't move at all, so we would be the same age.

Good theory though [img]smile.gif[/img]

[Scholarcs]

Hey! I was just coming here to post that....oh well. It is still funny even though I've seen it before.

And perhaps Santa is a mage, but whos heard of a mage with a private jet?

[Barb]

quote:

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Originally posted by Talthyr Malkaviel:


Hmmmm, well actually if it was a time stop, he'd be doing it all between the second, time wouldn't move at all, so we would be the same age.

Good theory though [img]smile.gif[/img]

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We would still look the same age but in thheory we'd be older.