Oh God Another Blonde Joke - Page 2

Vaskez · 01-26-2002, 04:24 PM

quote:
Originally posted by Neb:

*Notices that the letter K is not exempt* Oh Vaaskeeeeez, I think you'd better start running...... *Makes a few practice swings with a spiked baseball bat*

*Gets the old AK out of the closet and spits a few shots in Neb's general direction. Observes Neb fleeing....*

01-26-2002, 04:28 PM

Casts *Animate Object* on the AK which jumps out of V's hand and dances on the floor

Cool!!!! Wonder if it can Breakdance?

Casts *Shatter*

Guess so!!!

SSJ4Sephiroth · 01-26-2002, 07:08 PM

HAHAHAH- *catches a harsh glare from Lioness* errm, not funny...

Neb · 01-26-2002, 07:28 PM

quote:
Originally posted by SSJ4Sephiroth:
HAHAHAH- *catches a harsh glare from Lioness* errm, not funny...

Tempting fate there Seph, she could have gotten Fewocious [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Lioness · 01-26-2002, 07:42 PM

quote:
Originally posted by Neb:

Tempting fate there Seph, she could have gotten Fewocious [img]tongue.gif[/img]

How do you know I haven't?

Neb · 01-26-2002, 07:46 PM

quote:
Originally posted by Lioness:

How do you know I haven't?

Well, not seriously Fewocious anyway, *looks upwards* No fire and brimstone raining from the sky, *looks down* No tidal waves or earthquakes, *Looks at himself* And I'm still in one piece, no parts of which are on fire or damaged in any way.

Mouse · 01-26-2002, 07:57 PM

I'm feeling particularly reckless tonight, so here are another couple of blonde jokes...... [img]smile.gif[/img]

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighbourhood.

She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said "How about 50 dollars?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials that she might need were in the garage.

The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband,
"Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"

The man replied, "She should; she was standing on it."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

A blonde woman named Brandi finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in serious financial straits. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray...
"God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto."

Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it.

Brandi again prays...
God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."

Lotto night comes and Brandi still has no luck.

Once again, she prays...
"My God, why have you forsaken me?? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask you for help, and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order"

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Brandi is confronted by the voice of God Himself...

"Brandi, work with Me on this. Buy a ticket."

Reeka · 01-26-2002, 09:27 PM

Why do I get the feeling that no one took me seriously when I said no more blonde jokes?!

LennonCook · 01-27-2002, 04:41 AM

How about i direct you all to a good joke site.

Heres one of the Collection (not a blonde joke I know, but still funny):
The Hunchback of Notre Dame croaks so they need to find a new bell-ringer.

A guy with no arms comes along and says he can do it.
"But you've got no arms... you can't do this job!" says the church leader.
The new applicant shouts back - "Sure I can... I'll do it with my mouth!"

So the church hires him and he starts his bell-ringing duties the next day.
He begins ringing the bell using only his mouth, but the bell is so heavy, it tosses him out the window to the ground and splatters him dead.

He's lying dead on the ground and a big crowd gathers around him.
"Who is that guy?" one person says.

"I don't know says another, but his face sure rings a bell..."

Kaz · 01-27-2002, 07:02 AM

Reeka - I agree. NO MORE BLONDE JOKES!

BTW, *whisper whisper* how is the *whisper whisper* plan to take over the world *whisper whisper* ?

[ 01-27-2002: Message edited by: Kaz ]

01-26-2002, 04:24 PM	#11
Vaskez Takhisis Follower Join Date: April 30, 2001 Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now) Posts: 5,089	quote: Originally posted by Neb: **Notices that the letter K is not exempt Oh Vaaskeeeeez, I think you'd better start running...... Makes a few practice swings with a spiked baseball bat** Gets the old AK out of the closet and spits a few shots in Neb's general direction. Observes Neb fleeing.... __________________ Too set in his ways to ever relate If he could set that aside, there'd be heaven to pay But weathered and aged, time swept him to grave Love conquers all? Damn, I'd say that area's gray

01-26-2002, 07:28 PM	#14
Neb Account deleted by Request Join Date: May 17, 2001 Location: . Age: 38 Posts: 8,802	quote: Originally posted by SSJ4Sephiroth: *HAHAHAH- catches a harsh glare from Lioness* errm, not funny...** Tempting fate there Seph, she could have gotten Fewocious [img]tongue.gif[/img]

01-26-2002, 07:42 PM	#15
Lioness Jack Burton Join Date: June 3, 2001 Location: Among the Stars Age: 36 Posts: 5,837	quote: Originally posted by Neb: Tempting fate there Seph, she could have gotten Fewocious [img]tongue.gif[/img] How do you know I haven't? __________________ [img]\"ubb/noncgi/smiles/lioness1.jpg\" alt=\" - \" /> <br /><br />Premier Waitress/Smacker of Cloudy\'s Cafe<br /><br />\"the only people for me are the mad ones...\"

01-26-2002, 07:46 PM	#16
Neb Account deleted by Request Join Date: May 17, 2001 Location: . Age: 38 Posts: 8,802	quote: Originally posted by Lioness: How do you know I haven't? Well, not seriously Fewocious anyway, looks upwards No fire and brimstone raining from the sky, looks down No tidal waves or earthquakes, Looks at himself And I'm still in one piece, no parts of which are on fire or damaged in any way.

01-26-2002, 07:57 PM	#17
Mouse Ironworks Moderator Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Scotland Posts: 2,788	I'm feeling particularly reckless tonight, so here are another couple of blonde jokes...... [img]smile.gif[/img] A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighbourhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should; she was standing on it." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari." A blonde woman named Brandi finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in serious financial straits. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray... "God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto." Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. Brandi again prays... God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well." Lotto night comes and Brandi still has no luck. Once again, she prays... "My God, why have you forsaken me?? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask you for help, and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order" Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Brandi is confronted by the voice of God Himself... "Brandi, work with Me on this. Buy a ticket." __________________ Regards Mouse (Occasional crooner and all round friendly Scottish rodent)

01-26-2002, 04:28 PM	#12
Lord Shield Guest Posts: n/a	Casts Animate Object on the AK which jumps out of V's hand and dances on the floor Cool!!!! Wonder if it can Breakdance? Casts Shatter Guess so!!!

01-26-2002, 07:08 PM	#13
SSJ4Sephiroth Beholder Join Date: May 4, 2001 Location: The Outside Looking In Age: 37 Posts: 4,361	HAHAHAH- catches a harsh glare from Lioness errm, not funny...

01-26-2002, 09:27 PM	#18
Reeka Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice Join Date: March 2, 2001 Location: Birmingham, Alabama, USA Age: 70 Posts: 3,255	Why do I get the feeling that no one took me seriously when I said no more blonde jokes?! __________________ <b>Order of the Holy Flame</b><br /><i>Member of Clan HADB</i><br /><b>Laughing Hyena</b><br /><i>Clan Liaison, IW Peace Keeping Force</i><br /><i>[url]\"http://www.the-silver-river.com/Forum/index.php?board=29\" target=\"_blank\">The Silver River VoiceChat!</a><br />Last Saturday of every month. <br />See the forum link for scheduling!<br /><b> </b><br /></i><br /><b>Admin and Co-Owner of [url]\"http://www.the-silver-river.com\" target=\"_blank\">The Silver River</a></b><br />[url]\"http://www.the-silver-river.com\" target=\"_blank\"></a>

01-27-2002, 04:41 AM	#19
LennonCook Jack Burton Join Date: November 10, 2001 Location: Bathurst & Orange, in constant flux Age: 37 Posts: 5,452	How about i direct you all to a good joke site. Heres one of the Collection (not a blonde joke I know, but still funny): The Hunchback of Notre Dame croaks so they need to find a new bell-ringer. A guy with no arms comes along and says he can do it. "But you've got no arms... you can't do this job!" says the church leader. The new applicant shouts back - "Sure I can... I'll do it with my mouth!" So the church hires him and he starts his bell-ringing duties the next day. He begins ringing the bell using only his mouth, but the bell is so heavy, it tosses him out the window to the ground and splatters him dead. He's lying dead on the ground and a big crowd gathers around him. "Who is that guy?" one person says. "I don't know says another, but his face sure rings a bell..."

01-27-2002, 07:02 AM	#20
Kaz Thoth - Egyptian God of Wisdom Join Date: August 16, 2001 Location: UK Posts: 2,891	Reeka - I agree. NO MORE BLONDE JOKES! BTW, whisper whisper how is the whisper whisper plan to take over the world whisper whisper ? [ 01-27-2002: Message edited by: Kaz ]

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