Your Future?

[Arvon]

Senior Personal Ads

Some "Senior" personal ads seen in Florida newspapers (Who says seniors don't have a sense of humor?):

FOXY LADY:
Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5'4" (used to be 5'6"), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.

LONG-TERM COMMITMENT:
Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband, and am looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.

SERENITY NOW:
I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.

WINNING SMILE:
Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.

BEATLES OR STONES?
I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar. If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let's get together and listen to my eight-track tapes.

MEMORIES:
I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads together.

MINT CONDITION:
Male, 1932, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn't in running condition , but walks well.

[Ghoul]

Hilarious! [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]

[Tybaltus]

Whoa...these are REAL adds in the newspaper?

LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband, and am looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.

Methinks if those are not a problem, then this wont exactly be a long term relationship.

MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn't in running condition , but walks well.

Man, this one is just hilarious

[Bozos of Bones]

These are the general ads you might encounter when visiting my country(translation from Croatian):
I will trade a wife of 40 years for two 20 year-olds.
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Beautifull, brunette, shapely, charming, witty, fun, honest, truthfull, has a house on the ocean and three dogs, likes football. I'm not asking for anything, I'm just bragging.
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I rent office space in a business center in New York. Minor repair needed.
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I sell used paper tissues for half price. Limited stock.
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A young, voluptious blonde would like to sell a Honda Civic.
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If you are an honest, loving and caring person who is above all faithfull... GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!
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Save your nerves! You have a PlayStation, I have experience. I pass the thoughest levels for a small fee.
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I am willing to trade centimeters for an equal amount of inches.
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