Sythe's Joke Thread

[Sir Goulum]

A man walks into a bar and says ouch! [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img]

Two bugs are flying and one hits a car. The other says to himself 'He'll never have the guts to do that again' [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img]

(Say this one out loud)Knock knock
Whos there
Little ol' lady
Little ol' lady who? [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img]

[Bristowe]

1st cow: Hey did you hear about that mad cow disease going around?
2nd cow: Yeah but i'm not worried about it.
1st cow: Why not?
2nd cow: Because i'm a helicopter

[Faceman]

why was 6 afraid of 7
because 7 8 9

A sandwich and a peanut enter a bar
The bartender goes: "Sorry, but we don't serve food"

A blind guy enters a shop. He takes his dog by the tail and starts swinging it around like a throwing hammer. The attendant asks: "May I help you sir"
"No, I'm just looking around"

and a really sick one:
Three pregnant woman are sitting on a park bench and knitting pullovers for their soon arriving children. One takes a pack of pills from her purse and swalows some. The others go: "Hey, that's bad for your child." She responds: "No those are just aspirin, they are completely harmless". Soon the second takes out some pills:"They are just vitamins, they are actually good for the child"
Finally the last takes out some. When the others ask: "What are those?" she answers: "Thalidomide, I just can't seem to get the sleeves done"

[Harkoliar]

Four women go to a doctor, each with a son or a daughter of theirs. The doctor says, "Now, you are all here because you have certain obsessions that you need to realize. So the doctor turns to the first woman and says, "You're so obsessed with money that you named your daughter Penny." He turns to the second woman and says, "You're so obsessed with food that you named your son Crescant (okay, that's not exactly what he says there, but that's good enough)." The doctor looked at the third woman, and said, "You're so obsessed with tools that you named your son Jack Hammer." Before the daughter can talk to the last woman about her obsession, she turns to her son and says, "Come on Dick, I don't even want to hear what this man has to say."

haha good one! love that one

[dplax]

The rabbit wlaks into the bar and shouts out:
-Who wants a fight?
-I do-says the bear.
-OK you're with me anyone else?

Lol Lord yours was good.

my fav so far is bristowe's!

did you see on the news that two men were caught for dealing illegally in battery acid and fireworks? one was charged and the other let off.

[Bristowe]

A penguin walks into a bar...

Penguin: Excuse me sir, but i'm looking for my dad, have you seen him by any chance?

Barkeep: I might have, what does he look like?

[Raistlin Majere]

Originally posted by Sir Goulum: (Say this one out loud)Knock knock Whos there Little ol' lady Little ol' lady who? [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img]

knock knock jokes? i got two:

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Boo
Boo who
Don’t get so upset, crybaby!
What?
Ha! Ha! I made you say “boo-hoo”
You’re a real idiot.
That wasn’t necessary.

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
FBI!
…
…
Hello? FBI! Let us in!
…
…nobody here…
Oh. Let’s go boys!
(Phew!)


Edit: Found this in my e-mail:

The bear and the rabbit

There once was a bear and a rabbit that hated each other. One day, they found a genie in a lamp who said he would grant them each three wishes.The bear went first and he said,"I wish to be the only male bear in this forrest." And he got his wish.
The rabbit said, "I want a motercycle helmet." And he got his wish.

The bear went up and said, "I wish to be the only male bear in the United States, and all the rest to be female." And he got his wish.

The rabbit said, "I wish I had a motorcycle to go with that helmet." And he got his wish.

The bear said, "I wish I was the only male bear in the world, and all the rest were females." And he got his wish.

It was the rabbit's turn, and he said, "I wish that bear was gay."

[ 10-23-2003, 12:53 PM: Message edited by: Raistlin Majere ]

[Beaumanoir]

LMAO!!! I liked yours Raistlin!

[Lord]

Originally posted by Raistlin Majere: quote: Originally posted by Sir Goulum: (Say this one out loud)Knock knock Whos there Little ol' lady Little ol' lady who? [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img]

knock knock jokes? i got two:

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Boo
Boo who
Don’t get so upset, crybaby!
What?
Ha! Ha! I made you say “boo-hoo”
You’re a real idiot.
That wasn’t necessary.

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
FBI!
…
…
Hello? FBI! Let us in!
…
…nobody here…
Oh. Let’s go boys!
(Phew!)


Edit: Found this in my e-mail:

The bear and the rabbit

There once was a bear and a rabbit that hated each other. One day, they found a genie in a lamp who said he would grant them each three wishes.The bear went first and he said,"I wish to be the only male bear in this forrest." And he got his wish.
The rabbit said, "I want a motercycle helmet." And he got his wish.

The bear went up and said, "I wish to be the only male bear in the United States, and all the rest to be female." And he got his wish.

The rabbit said, "I wish I had a motorcycle to go with that helmet." And he got his wish.

The bear said, "I wish I was the only male bear in the world, and all the rest were females." And he got his wish.

It was the rabbit's turn, and he said, "I wish that bear was gay." [/QUOTE]LOL! The bear and rabbit one was great!