THE TWO COWS PHILOSOPHY

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I'm sure you guys have seen this before somewhere but there seem to be some new bits [img]smile.gif[/img]

>POLITICS MADE EASY: THE TWO COWS PHILOSOPHY
>
>FEUDALISM:
>You have two cows. The lord of the manor takes some of the
>milk; and all of the cream.
>
>PURE SOCIALISM:
>You have two cows. The government takes htme and puts them
>in a barn with everyone elses cows. You have to take care
>of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as
>you need.
>
>BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM:
>You have two cows. The govt. takes them and puts them in a
>barn with everyone elses' cows. They are cared for by
>ex-chicken farmers. You have the take care of the chickens
>the govt. took from the chicken farmers. The govt. gives
>you as much milk as you need and as many eggs as the
>regulations say you should need.
>
>FACISM:
>You have two cows. The govt. takes them both and hires you
>to take care of them, whilst selling you the milk.
>
>PURE COMMUNISM:
>You have two cows. Your neighbours help you take care of
>them, and you all share the milk.
>
>RUSSIAN COMMUNISM:
>You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the
>govt. takes all the milk.
>
>DICTATORSIP:
>You have two cows. The govt. takes them both and shoots
>you.
>
>MILITARISM:
>You have two cows. The govt. takes them both and drafts
>you.
>
>PURE DEMOCRACY:
>You have two cows. Your neighbours decied who gets the
>milk.
>
>AMERICAN DEMOCRACY:
>The govt. promises to give you two cows if you vote for it.
>After the election, the president is impeached for
>speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair
>'cowgate.' The cows are set free.
>
>BRITISH DEMOCRACY:
>You have two cows. You feed them sheep brains and they go
>mad. The govt. gives you compensation for your diseased
>cows, compensation for your lost income, a grant not to use
>your fields for anything else, and tells the public not to
>worry.
>
>BUREAUCRACY:
>You have two cows. At first the govt. regulates what you
>can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you
>not to milk them. After that it takes both, shoots one,
>milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it
>requires you to fill out forms accounting fo the missing
>cows.
>
>ANARCHY:
>You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price
>or your neighbours try to kill you and take the cows.
>
>CAPITALISM: (my favourite!)
>You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
>
>HONG KONG CAPITALISM:
>You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly
>listed company, using letters of credit opened by your
>brother in law at the bank, then execute an dept/equity swap
>with associated general offer so that you get all four cows
>back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk
>rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian
>intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by
>the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven
>cows' milk back to the listed company. The annual report
>says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one
>more. Meanwhile you kill the two cows because the Feng-Shui
>is bad.
>
>ENVIRONMENTALISM:
>You have two cows. The govt. bans you from milking or
>killing them.
>
>TOTLITARIANISM:
>You have two cows. The govt. takes them and denies they
>ever existed. Milk is banned.
>
>POLITICAL CORRECTNESS:
>You are associated with (the concept of 'ownership' is an
>outdated sumbol of your decadent warmongering, intolerant
>past) two differently aged (but no less valuable to society)
>bovines of non-specified gender.
>
>COUNTER-CULTURE:
>Wow, dude, there's like... these two cows, man. You got to
>have some of this milk.
>
>SURREALISM:
>You have two giraffes. The govt. requires you to take
>harmonica lessons.

[Avatar]

COUNTER-CULTURE:
>Wow, dude, there's like... these two cows, man. You got to
>have some of this milk.
>
>SURREALISM:
>You have two giraffes. The govt. requires you to take
>harmonica lessons.

soooooo true!


Theocracy:
God created the cows that's ALL that matter, now go and pray!

TECHNOCRACY:
the government genetically modifies the cows and merges them with VATS to produce unlimited milk with just 2 cows

TYRANNY:
the cows and u are made to do slave labour

Coporate Republic:
The cows are sold over and over again making people millionaires and returning to you at the same price.

[ 05-05-2002, 04:55 PM: Message edited by: Avatar ]

[Melusine]

LMAO! Seen it before, but it's still funny [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]

[Lioness]

LOL! [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img] I like the Anarchy one, [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img] ...