I know a clean joke !!!

[RudeDawg]

Three old men are at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor says to the first old man, "What is three times three?"

"274" was his reply.

The doctor worriedly says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?"

"Tuesday" replies the second man.

The doctor sadly says to the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three"?

"Nine" says the third man.

"That's great!" exclaims the doctor. "How did you get that"?

"Jeez, Doc, it's pretty simple," says the third man. "I just subtracted 274 from Tuesday."

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[This message has been edited by RudeDawg (edited 06-09-2001).]

[RudeDawg]

A big executive boarded a New York to Chicago train. He explained to the porter, "I'm a heavy sleeper, but I want you to be sure and wake me up at 3:00 am for the stop in Buffalo. I don't care what I say, you just make sure I get off in Buffalo."

The next morning the executive woke up in Chicago. He was furious. He found the porter and really gave him an earful before hustling off to purchase a return ticket.

After he left, a co-worker said to the porter, "How can you stand there and let that passenger abuse you like that?" "That's nothing," said the porter. "You should have heard the guy who I put off in Buffalo!"


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[Fljotsdale]

ROFL!!
Keep 'em coming, RudeDawg!

BTW, did you get my e-mails?

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[Wulfere]

LOL
I wish I knew some clean jokes.
Oh wait I have one.

An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman are walking down a beach and find a magic bottle. The Irishman picks it up and rubs it and a genie pops out.
"I will grant each of you one wish for freeing me from that prison." He turns to the Irishman and asks his wish.
The Irishman thinks for awhile and then says.
"My father was a Fisherman as was his father before him. I am also a fisherman as my son will be after me. I wish the seas to be full of fish for all my children to come and their children there after."
The genie nods and grants the wish.
He then turns to the Englishman. "And your wish?" he asks.
The Englishman thinks for a while. "I wish that England be protected from her enemies for all time. From all outside threats. Therefore I want a wall, unbreachable and massive to protect her and all who dwell upon her shores."
The Genie grants this wish also.
He then turns to the Scotsman.
"Your wish is the last. Have you decided?"
The Scotsman thought for a moment. "Noo a havnea. How big is that wall roond England?"
The Genis says "300 feet high and it encirlces the entirety of England."
The Scotsman thinks....
The genie after several minutes asks bruskly "Well?!"
To which the Scotsman says. "Fill it with Water."

[Dreamer128]

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Those who watch their backs meet death from the front- Dreamer128 paladin of the order of the holy flame.

[RudeDawg]

A politician was speaking to a group on a western Indian Reservation. He was delighted that many of the group would enthusiastically yell, "HOYA" numerous times during his speech. The next day he was touring the reservation and during the tour was shown through a dairy. There were numerous patties around the area. His guide said, "Be careful not to step in the hoya."

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[mammawlin]

MORAL OF THE STORY
A class of 5th graders were given an assignment to do some research and be able to tell a story with a moral at the end of it.

The first kid's story: My father sells eggs. One day on the way to the market, one of the baskets fell off the truck and the eggs broke. Moral of the story is "Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"

The second kid's story: My father sells chickens. We had six dozen eggs, but only five dozen hatched into baby chicks. Moral of the story is "Don't count your chickens before they hatch!"

The third kid's story: My father said his sister, my aunt Mary, was in the war. Her plane was hit by the enemy and it was going down. She grabbed a machine gun with 100 rounds, a big knife and a half bottle of whiskey and jumped out of the plane before it crashed. On the way down, she drank the whiskey so it wouldn't get broken when she landed on the ground. She landed in the middle of 150 of the enemy. She killed 100 of them with the machine gun and the other 50 in hand to hand combat with the big knife.

The teacher was appalled and asked "What kind of moral could your father possibly be teaching you by telling you this horrible story?"

The kid answered, My father said the moral of the story is "Stay the h*ll away from your aunt Mary when she is drinking!"


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I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

[Lavindathar]

A man and a woman go to have a picnic,and they are all alone.They decide that they will get naked.

All of a sudden,a wasp flies up the womens t##t(soz,cudnt think of a better word).The man gets scared,and rushes her to the hospital.He explains to the doctor that a wasp is up his girlfriend,and the doctor replies

"I have an idea.Put some honey on the end of your dick,and slide it in her.Make sure u do it slowly,to tempt the wasp out."

The man was really scared about gettin his bell stung,so he chickened out.

The doctor said:

"Do you mind if I do it?"

The man agreed,so the doctor put honey on his dick and slid it in.He was going slowly,trying to tempt out the poor wasp.All of a sudden,the doc starts going faster and faster,and the women starts screaming with pleasure.

The man said "What the f##k are you doing?"

The doctor replied "change of plan,I'm going to drown the bastard!!"

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A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today."
The mother, more that a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es
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[kiwidoc]

I thought this was the I know a clean joke thread?
If you dont think this joke is claean then go wash your mind out with soap!


This joke MUST be read allowed. Do not try this at work as getting the sack may offend.

Little Archie’s folks moved house over the Easter break, so he started a brand new class at a brand new school. On his first day the teacher was doing spelling. She asked the class how to spell revolver. Up goes little Archies hand, and he says

“R; E; V; O; L; V; E; R”

Teacher replies – “Yes Archie that is right. However we do our spelling a little differently here, to make it more fun. Here, Fred will show you.”

Fred stands up grinning and says

Now say this out loud! Just pretend you are a cheerleader

“Revolver. R; E with a ree; with a V; O; L; with a vol with a ree vol; with a V; E; R; with a ver with a volver with a revolver.”

“Wow” goes little Archie. “I see how that’s done. NEAT!”

Teacher beams and sets little Archie some homework. He is to learn to spell his name using this system. He mutters under his breath practicing all day. Late into the night you can hear him muttering and reciting in his bed, and by the next morning he has it off pat.

He gets into the class and teacher calls him to the front. It is the moment of truth!

This bit really MUST be read out loud. I mean it And I challenge you to do it without laughing

“Archibald Arsolton.

A; R; C; H with an arch; with an I; with an arch eye; with a B; A; L; D; with a bald with an eye bald with an arch eye bald; with an A; R; S; with an ars with a bald ars with an eye balled ars; with an O; L with an oll with an ars oll with a bald ars oll with an eye bald ars oll; with a T; O; N with a ton with an oll ton with an ars oll ton with a bald ars oll ton with an eye bald ars oll ton with an Archibald Arsolton!”



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There is only one kiwidoc, accept no substitutes

STANDARD OPERATING PROCEEDURE
www.judyhope.co.uk

[Lavindathar]

Originally posted by kiwidoc: I thought this was the I know a clean joke thread? If you dont think this joke is claean then go wash your mind out with soap!

Where did it say Clean joke thread? Rudedawg was just pointing out he KNEW a clean joke.He didnt say ours had to be clean did he?

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