Funny Bone 02/18/20

[Kakero]

so lawyers are liers eh? that's interesting.

[VulcanRider]

Medical humor:

A man is lying in bed in a Catholic hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young auxiliary nurse appears to sponge his face and hands.
"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I'm only here to wash your face and hands."

He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, Are my testicles black?"
Again the nurse replies, "I can't tell. I'm only here to wash your face and hands."

The ward sister was passing and saw the man getting a little distraught so marched over to inquire what was wrong.
"Sister," he mumbled, "Are my testicles black?"
Being a nurse of longstanding, the sister was undaunted. She whipped back the bedclothes, pulled down his pajama trousers, moved his penis out of the way, had a right good look, pulled up the pajamas, replaced the bedclothes and announced, "Nothing wrong with them!!!"

At this the man pulled off his oxygen mask and asked again,
"Are my test results back???

[Arvon]

MJ's Surgical Team...

http://www.humorweb.net/pictures/1000.jpg

[johnny]

Originally posted by Arvon: MJ's Surgical Team... http://www.humorweb.net/pictures/1000.jpg

Linky no worky

[Arvon]

Originally posted by johnny:

Linky no worky[/QB][/QUOTE]

Try cut and paste

[Arvon]

I've seen this in several news sources. It may be an Urban Legend, but for what it's worth...

Least Competent People — The Merced (CA) Sun-Star reported that an unnamed man was taken to a hospital in Modesto after his head was split open by a brick. Police, called to the scene, were expecting to find foul play, but witnesses said the man was merely trying to see how high up he could throw a brick, and since it was dark (2:30 a.m.), the man lost track of the brick's flight and could not get out of the way when it came down on his head. Police said alcohol appeared to be involved.

[Arvon]

DYING TO DIET
Jimi Hooker gives us the final word on nutrition and health:
The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the Brits or Americans. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Brits or Yanks. The Italians drink huge amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer attacks than the above. The Germans drink a lot of beers and suffer fewer heart attacks than, etc., etc.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like — speaking English is what kills you.