Everything's... fine!

[Tancred]

Well, this has been a bizarre 48 hours.

I cannot explain what happened fully, not in a post like this. But I snapped, and spent a whole day telling people EXACTLY how I felt about them, and most of it was rather negative. Among them was my girlfriend of two and a half years, and this was where I had to face my shame because I had to email her to tell her the fact that I had no real strong feelings for her and I felt our relationship wasn't going anywhere. I went to my room here at Uni, drank a bottle of wine, had a few cookies and drifted into an uneasy sleep.

Somehow, I wake up, and everything's... right. I am praised for my honesty, many are admitting where they've gone wrong and a major shakeup of quite a few things are in progress in light of my 'constructive criticism'. My girlfriend has thanked me for my candour, telling me that she's really seen me as more of a friend now for months and has been absolutely terrified of telling me this.

Here I am, just started university for the second time in my life, and the clouds have cleared. It really is a god damn wonderful day... and I just wanted you to know that.

I'm happy for you. When I do it, the hurt remains. Seems I have that affect with people when I'm on my dark side. I have it under control. When I'm good, things around are alot easier and sunnier. I prefer the light side.

[Faceman]

Nobody was angry?
Sometimes people can't be explained [img]smile.gif[/img]
Telling the truth is always great for oneself but other people receiving it well turns out to be seldom.
Good job [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]

[Tancred]

Oh, some were angry. But they were overruled by those in charge, who told them they had no right to be. I haven't been able to stop laughing for ten whole minutes. Jeez! I'm happy.

[dplax]

Good for you Tancred. The last time I told the truth about things I lost one of my best friends, so now I watch what I say most of the time.

[Harkoliar]

interesting.. i dont do that kind of stuff what you did tancred.. that takes willpower..

[The Hierophant]

Originally posted by dplax: Good for you Tancred. The last time I told the truth about things I lost one of my best friends, so now I watch what I say most of the time.

they wern't your friend if the truth drove them away.

And Tancred: it's awesome to hear that you are placing honesty above comfort. Sometimes the need to be settled and accepted can drive us to hide who we really are. This is usually caused when we have an idea of what others want us to be and try to achieve this phantom identity. It is unhealthy for all involved, and in the long run it merely leads to unfulfilled expectations and a sense of unease anyway. Honesty is the best policy, stay true to what you've started here man [img]smile.gif[/img]

[ 10-21-2003, 08:23 AM: Message edited by: The Hierophant ]

[Dragonshadow]

Well done mate!
If I tried to do that, I'll probobly be killed by people.
I did tell someone what I thought of them today, and it was bad...
But again, well done. [img]smile.gif[/img]

[ 10-21-2003, 08:23 AM: Message edited by: Dragonshadow ]

[Memnoch]

I don't see what's so surprising about what you did, Tancred - I think it's the right way to go. I'm someone who values honesty above everything else and I expect by friends to be honest with me. I call a spade a spade and I expect people to do the same to me. If that means I have to stand there and listen to criticism about myself then that's cool. [img]smile.gif[/img]

And that goes for friends of mine as well - they'd better have thick skins. Of course there is criticism and there is criticism - I usually only criticise someone if they're doing something that really bothers me - and not a lot bothers me. Otherwise you turn into a nag. Also depends on how close you are to the person - usually close friends are the ones you care enough about to tell them to their face about something negative about them - the casual friends are the ones that you don't care about enough in an emotional sense to tell them off.

And there's always a tactful way to deliver that criticism - if you rant and rave your message usually gets lost in your delivery (hint hint ). A sit-down D&M over a coffee or a drink usually gets the message across, quite well, and most of the time they appreciate it. And if they don't, that's cool too. [img]smile.gif[/img] I think that my friends all respect me the more for it.

[ 10-21-2003, 11:15 AM: Message edited by: Memnoch ]

[cloud ff7 38]

hey, GOOD FOR YOU MAN!!!!!
That is hard to do for a lot of people so I comend(sp?) you.
It is amazing no one was mad mainly your girlfriend.