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Old 06-04-2002, 03:05 PM   #1
Charean
Hathor
 

Join Date: March 6, 2001
Location: Waxahachie, TX
Age: 60
Posts: 2,201
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said
it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even
though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated,
the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was
physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
=======================

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was?

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
==============================

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother," she asked, "is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered,
Thou shall not kill."
============================

An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown
had kissed her after class.
"How did that happen?" gasped her mother.
"It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but three girls helped me
catch him."
=====================================

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes
at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother has several
strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She
looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white,Mom?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and
make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for while and then said,
"Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
==================================

A three-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On
returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother that there were
two boy kittens and two girl kittens.

"How did you know?" his mother asked.

"Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's
printed on the bottom."

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how
nice it will be to look at it when you are all grownup and say, 'There's
Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael. He's a doctor.'"

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher. She's dead."
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying
to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."

"Yes," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted,

"Cause your feet ain't empty."
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And then there were 6.
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Old 06-04-2002, 03:23 PM   #2
Ar-Cunin
Ra
 

Join Date: August 14, 2001
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
Age: 52
Posts: 2,326
'From children and drunks .....' (shall you hear the truth)
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Life is a laugh <img border=\"0\" alt=\"[biglaugh]\" title=\"\" src=\"graemlins/biglaugh.gif\" /> - and DEATH is the final joke <img border=\"0\" alt=\"[hehe]\" title=\"\" src=\"graemlins/hehe.gif\" />
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Old 06-04-2002, 03:54 PM   #3
johnny
40th Level Warrior
 
Ms Pacman Champion
Join Date: April 15, 2002
Location: Utrecht The Netherlands
Age: 58
Posts: 16,981
lol good ones charean !
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Old 06-04-2002, 04:01 PM   #4
Jorath Calar
Harper
 

Join Date: October 6, 2001
Location: Iceland
Posts: 4,706
These are great. I love the one about the dead teacher... [img]smile.gif[/img]
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Old 06-04-2002, 04:56 PM   #5
Horatio
Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice
 

Join Date: September 19, 2001
Location: Behind these metal bars
Age: 41
Posts: 3,117
Nice one. Expecting more soon, right?
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I <b>am</b> the party!!<br /> [img]\"http://zert0.net/iuti/img2/1381585-vi.gif\" alt=\" - \" />
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