Someone Stop Me While There Is Still Time... - Page 4

skywalker · 10-10-2001, 05:32 PM

And now, something Australian!

Bruces

The cast:

FIRST BRUCE
Eric Idle
SECOND BRUCE
Graham Chapman
THIRD BRUCE
Michael Palin
FOURTH BRUCE
John Cleese
MICHAEL
Terry Jones

The sketch:

Second Bruce: G'day, Bruce!
First Bruce: Oh, Hello Bruce!

Third Bruce: How are you Bruce?

First Bruce: A bit crook, Bruce.

Second Bruce: Where's Bruce?

First Bruce: He's not 'ere, Bruce.

Third Bruce: Blimey, it's hot in here, Bruce.

First Bruce: Hot enough to boil a monkey's bum!

Second Bruce: That's a strange expression, Bruce.

First Bruce: Well Bruce, I heard the Prime Minister use it. "It's hot enough to boil a monkey's bum in here, your Majesty," he said and she smiled quietly to herself.

Third Bruce: She's a good Sheila Bruce, and not at all stuck up.

Second Bruce: Here! Here's the boss-fellow now! - how are you bruce?

(Enter fourth Bruce with English person, Michael)

Fourth Bruce: 'Ow are you, Bruce?

First Bruce: G'day Bruce!

Fourth Bruce: Bruce.

Second Bruce: Hello Bruce.

Fourth Bruce: Bruce.

Third Bruce: How are you, Bruce?

Fourth Bruce: G'day Bruce.

Fourth Bruce: Gentleman, I'd like to introduce man from Pommeyland who is joinin' us this year in the philosophy department at the University of Walamaloo.

Everybruce: G'day!

Michael: Hello.

Fourth Bruce: Michael Baldwin, Bruce. Michael Baldwin, Bruce. Michael Baldwin, Bruce.

First Bruce: Is your name not Bruce?

Michael: No, it's Michael.

Second Bruce: That's going to cause a little confusion.

Third Bruce: Mind if we call you "Bruce" to keep it clear?

Fourth Bruce: Gentlemen, I think we better start the faculty meeting. Before we start, though, I'd like to ask the padre for a prayer.

First Bruce: Oh Lord, we beseech Thee, Amen!!

Everybruce: Amen!

Fourth Bruce: Crack tubes! (Sound of cans opening) Now I call upon Bruce to officially welcome Mr. Baldwin to the philosophy faculty.

Second Bruce: I'd like to welcome the pommey bastard to God's own Earth, and remind him that we don't like stuck-up sticky-beaks here.

Everybruce: Hear, hear! Well spoken, Bruce!

Fourth Bruce: Bruce here teaches classical philosophy, Bruce there teaches Haegelian philosophy, and Bruce here teaches logical positivism. And is also in charge of the sheep dip.

Third Bruce: What's New-Bruce going to teach?

Fourth Bruce: New-Bruce will be teaching political science, Machiavelli, Bentham, Locke, Hobbes, Sutcliffe, Bradman, Lindwall, Miller, Hassett, and Benaud.

Second Bruce: Those are all cricketers!

Fourth Bruce: Aww, spit!

Third Bruce: Hails of derisive laughter, Bruce!

Everybruce: Australia, Australia, Australia, Australia, we love you amen!

Fourth Bruce:Bruce: Crack tube! (Sound of cans opening) Any questions?

Second Bruce: New-Bruce, are you a Poofter?

Fourth Bruce: Are you a Poofter?

Michael: No!

Fourth Bruce: No. Right, I just want to remind you of the faculty rules: Rule One!

Everybruce: No Poofters!

Fourth Bruce: Rule Two, no member of the faculty is to maltreat the Abbos in any way at all -- if there's anybody watching. Rule Three?

Everybruce: No Poofters!!

Fourth Bruce: Rule Four, now this term, I don't want to catch anybody not drinking. Rule Five,

Everybruce: No Poofters!

Fourth Bruce: Rule Six, there is NO ... Rule Six. Rule Seven,

Everybruce: No Poofters!!

Fourth Bruce: Right, that concludes the readin' of the rules, Bruce.

First Bruce: This here's the wattle, the emblem of our land. You can stick it in a bottle, you can hold it in your hand.

Everybruce: Amen!

(NB: The Album versions continue with the Philosopher's song The TV version contines below....)

First Bruce: Right, let's get some Sheilas.

(An Aborigine bunts in with an enormous tray full of enormous steaks.)

Fourth Bruce: OK.

Second Bruce: Ah, elevenses.

Third Bruce: This should tide us over 'til lunchtime.

Second Bruce: Reckon so, Bruce.

Mark

Newest and Humbly Prideful (?) Member of the Illuminati

10-10-2001, 05:34 PM

Oh Mark you really must stop this....

------------------

Formidable Flirty Fishy Sorcerer of the HADB

skywalker · 10-10-2001, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Sorcerer Alex:
Oh Mark you really must stop this....

If you really think so...I will. I guess I've been a little overboard anyway.

Mark

10-10-2001, 05:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by skywalker:
If you really think so...I will. I guess I've been a little overboard anyway.

Mark

Oh pay no attention to me, I'm just kidding. It's hysterical stuff!

------------------

Formidable Flirty Fishy Sorcerer of the HADB

[This message has been edited by Sorcerer Alex (edited 10-10-2001).]

skywalker · 10-11-2001, 02:45 PM

DragonMage!

Did you see this. I just wanted to make sure you had a chance download the video if you wanted to see it.

Quote:

Originally posted by skywalker:
The Fish-Slapping Dance

(An animated item ends with a sign saying 'And now, the Fish Slapping Dance'.)

(Cut to a quayside. John and Michael, dressed in tropical gear and solar topees. John stands still while Michael dances up and down before him to the jolly music of Edward German. Michael holds two tiny fish and from time to time in the course of the dance he slaps John lightly, across the cheeks with them. The music ends; Michael stops dancing. John produces a huge fish and swipes Michael with it. Michael falls off the quay into the water.)

(ANIMATION: underwater. We see an animated Michael sinking. He is swallowed by a fish with a swastika on its side.)

Nazi Fish: (with bad German accent) Welcome aboard, Britisher pig. Quite a little surprise, ja? But perhaps you would be so kind as to tell us all you know about certain allied shipping routes, ja? Come on, talk!

(The Nazi fish is swallowed by a fish with an RAF emblem.)

British Fish: (with bad British accent) Hello, Fritz. Tables seem to have turned, old chap, let's see how you like a bit of your own medicine, eh? Come on, Fritz, now tell us - tell us about...

(The British fish is swallowed by a Chinese fish.)

Chinese Fish: (with terrible Chinese accent) Ah, gleetings, capitalist dog; very sorry but must inform you, you are now prisoner of People's Republic. Second Voice: Am very sorry, comrade commando, but have just picked up capitalist ship on ladar scanner.

(The Chinese fish bites the underside of a large ship. Film of big liner sinking in storm. General panic and dramatic music which leads into the World War 1 Sketch)

You can download a video of the Fish Slapping dance here:

http://www.intriguing.com/mp/_video/

Mark

[This message has been edited by skywalker (edited 10-11-2001).]

DragonMage · 10-11-2001, 02:58 PM

Yes, darling, I saw it!

I'm still ROTFLMAO!!!! Thank you SOOOOOoooo much!

------------------

Alureth...Dragon friend of Breanna, Mage and Advisor in the Court of Lady Lioness

Co-Owner/Operator of the Evil Petting Zoo and devout member of the HADB clan.
Commander of the Dragon Fleet, IW Peacekeeping Force
Sublime Sister of the Illuminati - may the Light shine forever!
Second Historian and Scribe of IW. Mother Hen of IW.
Mage extraordinair, Pin-Up Girl for the OLD-COOTS
Magey-Wagey: performer in the Nekked Dancing Trio of the ORT.

Hopeless Romantic *sigh*

Neb · 10-11-2001, 05:20 PM

Bumping this for fun!

skywalker · 10-11-2001, 06:12 PM

Should I post anymore or is there enough here. Any requests?

Mark

[This message has been edited by skywalker (edited 10-11-2001).]

10-11-2001, 10:50 PM

Ive only read the first few, but "the man with three buttocks" always splits my side, if ya havent yet....

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10-10-2001, 05:32 PM	#31
skywalker Banned User Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: VT, USA Age: 63 Posts: 3,097	And now, something Australian! Bruces The cast: FIRST BRUCE Eric Idle SECOND BRUCE Graham Chapman THIRD BRUCE Michael Palin FOURTH BRUCE John Cleese MICHAEL Terry Jones The sketch: Second Bruce: G'day, Bruce! First Bruce: Oh, Hello Bruce! Third Bruce: How are you Bruce? First Bruce: A bit crook, Bruce. Second Bruce: Where's Bruce? First Bruce: He's not 'ere, Bruce. Third Bruce: Blimey, it's hot in here, Bruce. First Bruce: Hot enough to boil a monkey's bum! Second Bruce: That's a strange expression, Bruce. First Bruce: Well Bruce, I heard the Prime Minister use it. "It's hot enough to boil a monkey's bum in here, your Majesty," he said and she smiled quietly to herself. Third Bruce: She's a good Sheila Bruce, and not at all stuck up. Second Bruce: Here! Here's the boss-fellow now! - how are you bruce? (Enter fourth Bruce with English person, Michael) Fourth Bruce: 'Ow are you, Bruce? First Bruce: G'day Bruce! Fourth Bruce: Bruce. Second Bruce: Hello Bruce. Fourth Bruce: Bruce. Third Bruce: How are you, Bruce? Fourth Bruce: G'day Bruce. Fourth Bruce: Gentleman, I'd like to introduce man from Pommeyland who is joinin' us this year in the philosophy department at the University of Walamaloo. Everybruce: G'day! Michael: Hello. Fourth Bruce: Michael Baldwin, Bruce. Michael Baldwin, Bruce. Michael Baldwin, Bruce. First Bruce: Is your name not Bruce? Michael: No, it's Michael. Second Bruce: That's going to cause a little confusion. Third Bruce: Mind if we call you "Bruce" to keep it clear? Fourth Bruce: Gentlemen, I think we better start the faculty meeting. Before we start, though, I'd like to ask the padre for a prayer. First Bruce: Oh Lord, we beseech Thee, Amen!! Everybruce: Amen! Fourth Bruce: Crack tubes! (Sound of cans opening) Now I call upon Bruce to officially welcome Mr. Baldwin to the philosophy faculty. Second Bruce: I'd like to welcome the pommey bastard to God's own Earth, and remind him that we don't like stuck-up sticky-beaks here. Everybruce: Hear, hear! Well spoken, Bruce! Fourth Bruce: Bruce here teaches classical philosophy, Bruce there teaches Haegelian philosophy, and Bruce here teaches logical positivism. And is also in charge of the sheep dip. Third Bruce: What's New-Bruce going to teach? Fourth Bruce: New-Bruce will be teaching political science, Machiavelli, Bentham, Locke, Hobbes, Sutcliffe, Bradman, Lindwall, Miller, Hassett, and Benaud. Second Bruce: Those are all cricketers! Fourth Bruce: Aww, spit! Third Bruce: Hails of derisive laughter, Bruce! Everybruce: Australia, Australia, Australia, Australia, we love you amen! Fourth Bruce:Bruce: Crack tube! (Sound of cans opening) Any questions? Second Bruce: New-Bruce, are you a Poofter? Fourth Bruce: Are you a Poofter? Michael: No! Fourth Bruce: No. Right, I just want to remind you of the faculty rules: Rule One! Everybruce: No Poofters! Fourth Bruce: Rule Two, no member of the faculty is to maltreat the Abbos in any way at all -- if there's anybody watching. Rule Three? Everybruce: No Poofters!! Fourth Bruce: Rule Four, now this term, I don't want to catch anybody not drinking. Rule Five, Everybruce: No Poofters! Fourth Bruce: Rule Six, there is NO ... Rule Six. Rule Seven, Everybruce: No Poofters!! Fourth Bruce: Right, that concludes the readin' of the rules, Bruce. First Bruce: This here's the wattle, the emblem of our land. You can stick it in a bottle, you can hold it in your hand. Everybruce: Amen! (NB: The Album versions continue with the Philosopher's song The TV version contines below....) First Bruce: Right, let's get some Sheilas. (An Aborigine bunts in with an enormous tray full of enormous steaks.) Fourth Bruce: OK. Second Bruce: Ah, elevenses. Third Bruce: This should tide us over 'til lunchtime. Second Bruce: Reckon so, Bruce. Mark Newest and Humbly Prideful (?) Member of the Illuminati

10-10-2001, 05:34 PM	#32
Sorcerer Alex Guest Posts: n/a	Oh Mark you really must stop this.... ------------------ Formidable Flirty Fishy Sorcerer of the HADB

10-11-2001, 02:58 PM	#36
DragonMage 20th Level Warrior Join Date: September 6, 2001 Location: The lighter side of life, a.k.a. Newnan, Georgia Age: 55 Posts: 2,767	Yes, darling, I saw it! I'm still ROTFLMAO!!!! Thank you SOOOOOoooo much! ------------------ Alureth...Dragon friend of Breanna, Mage and Advisor in the Court of Lady Lioness Co-Owner/Operator of the Evil Petting Zoo and devout member of the HADB clan. Commander of the Dragon Fleet, IW Peacekeeping Force Sublime Sister of the Illuminati - may the Light shine forever! Second Historian and Scribe of IW. Mother Hen of IW. Mage extraordinair, Pin-Up Girl for the OLD-COOTS Magey-Wagey: performer in the Nekked Dancing Trio of the ORT. Hopeless Romantic sigh

10-11-2001, 05:20 PM	#37
Neb Account deleted by Request Join Date: May 17, 2001 Location: . Age: 38 Posts: 8,802	Bumping this for fun!

10-11-2001, 06:12 PM	#38
skywalker Banned User Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: VT, USA Age: 63 Posts: 3,097	Should I post anymore or is there enough here. Any requests? Mark [This message has been edited by skywalker (edited 10-11-2001).]

10-11-2001, 10:50 PM	#39
G'kar Guest Posts: n/a	Ive only read the first few, but "the man with three buttocks" always splits my side, if ya havent yet....

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