Bill of NO Rights

[Timber Loftis]

Bill of NO rights
>>
>>
>>"We, the sensible people of the United States, in an
>> attempt to help everyone get along, restore some
>> semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our
>> nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the
>> blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves and our
>> great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more
>> time to ordain and establish some common sense
>> guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden,
>> delusion al, and other liberal, bed-wetters.
>>
>> We hold these truths to be self-evident: that a whole
>> lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and
>> are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights".
>>
>> ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big
>> screen TV or any other form of wealth. More power to
>> you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is
>>guaranteeing anything.
>>
>> ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be
>> offended. This country is based on freedom, and that
>> means freedom for everyone-not just you!
>>You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a
>> different opinion, etc., but the world is full of
>> idiots, and probably always will be.
>>
>> ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from
>> harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to
>> be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer
>> to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.
>>
>> ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and
>> housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be
>> found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly
>> growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of
>> professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than
>> the creation of another generation of professional couch
>> potatoes.
>>
>> ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health
>> care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public
>> housing, we're just not interested in public health care.
>>
>> ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically
>> harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally
>> maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest
>> of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.
>>
>> ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the
>> possessions of others. If you rob, cheat or coerce
>> away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be
>> surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you
>> away in a place where you still won't have the right
>> to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.
>>
>> ARTICLE VIII: You don't have the right to demand that
>> our children risk their lives in foreign wars to
>>soothe your aching conscience. We hate oppressive
>> governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from
>> going to fight if you'd like. However, we do not enjoy
>> parenting the entire world and do not want to spend
>> so much of our time battling each and every little
>> tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.
>>
>> ARTICLE IX: You don't have the right to a job. All of
>> us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help
>> you along in hard times, but we expect you to take
>>advantage of the opportunities of education and
>> vocational training laid before you to make yourself
>> useful.
>>
>> ARTICLE X: You do not have the right to happiness.
>>Being an American means that you have the right to
>> PURSUE happiness-which by the way, is a lot easier
>> if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic
>> laws created by those of you who were confused by the
>> Bill of Rights,"
>>
>> ARTICLE XI: This is an English speaking country.
>>We don't care where you are from, English is our language.
>> Learn it or go back, for good, to where you came from.
>>
>> If you agree, share this with a friend. No, you don't
>> have to, and nothing tragic will befall you if you don't.
>> I just think it is about time common sense is allowed to
>> flourish - call it the age of reason revisited.

[Gandar]

I only have 2 words to say about this:
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AMEN, BROTHER!!!!

[Attalus]

ROFLMAO, TL, that was great.

[khazadman]

Soooo true. I never get tired of reading the Bill Of No Rights.

[Barry the Sprout]

I much prefer the UK version. The Bill of No Rights:

1. You have no rights!

It's funny 'cos its true...

[Arvon]

Very Good!!!!! I copied them and e-mailed them to some friends.

[ElricMorlockin]

LOL! Great one Timber! I have seen this somewhere before, but can't remember where?

[HolyWarrior]

Article XII: You have the right to burn the American flag, protest the military, and generally being an asshole. WE have the right to kick your ass for being said asshole.