Things to Think About...

John D Harris · 03-09-2002, 01:26 PM

...While contimplating the Efrix

Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot,
but anyone going faster is a maniac?

I'm not into working out. My philosophy is: no pain, no pain.

I'm in shape. Round is a shape.

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your
groin unprotected.

A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my
suede jacket and said, "Don't you know a cow was
murdered for that jacket?" I said "I didn't know there
were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too."

Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets
mad at you, but when you take him in a car he
sticks his head out the window?

I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have
been more specific.

I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out,
I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long
somebody stands there picking the locks, they are
always locking three of them.

They show you how detergents take out bloodstains.
I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it,
maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.

Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and
they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals.
I think my children are beautiful, but I only have photos
of them on the wall.

Reeka · 03-09-2002, 01:47 PM

John, I loved these! Could I possibly post them somewhere else, with your permission?

*hugs*

Sir ReGiN · 03-09-2002, 01:54 PM

Brilliant! Truly worth considering, and trying yourself too

Thank you for that

[ 03-09-2002: Message edited by: Sir ReGiN ]

Bahamut · 03-09-2002, 02:08 PM

LOL!!!

That was great!!! and the first quote made me laugh ... so true for me

Staralfur · 03-09-2002, 03:02 PM

Heehee!!!

How about;

If all is not lost, where is it?

John D Harris · 03-09-2002, 03:58 PM

quote:
Originally posted by Reeka:
John, I loved these! Could I possibly post them somewhere else, with your permission?

*hugs*

Miss Reeka Ma'am, Feel free to post'em where ever you like

I get'em from old fighter pilots that spend lots of time contimplating their navels and studying the Efrix.

AzRaeL StoRmBlaDe · 03-09-2002, 05:25 PM

very nice mate, i enjoyed those thoroughly

Aelia Jusa · 03-09-2002, 05:32 PM

quote:
Originally posted by John D Harris:

Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and
they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals.
I think my children are beautiful, but I only have photos
of them on the wall.

Those are great John, especially this one [img]smile.gif[/img]

John D Harris · 03-09-2002, 06:42 PM

Miss Aelia Ma'am,
I do have a couple of Pondscum's heads mounted on my wall

Pondscum=Daughters boyfriends

/)eathKiller · 03-09-2002, 07:08 PM

ROTFLMAO! thats so funny!

03-09-2002, 01:26 PM	#1
John D Harris Ninja Storm Shadow Join Date: March 27, 2001 Location: Northport,Alabama, USA Age: 62 Posts: 3,577	...While contimplating the Efrix Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac? I'm not into working out. My philosophy is: no pain, no pain. I'm in shape. Round is a shape. Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, "Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" I said "I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too." Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window? I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific. I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them. They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem. Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my children are beautiful, but I only have photos of them on the wall. __________________ Crustiest of the OLD COOTS "Donating mirrors for years to help the Liberal/Socialist find their collective rear-ends, because both hands doesn't seem to be working. Veitnam 61-65:KIA 1864 66:KIA 5008 67:KIA 9378 68:KIA 14594 69:KIA 9414 70:KIA 4221 71:KIA 1380 72:KIA 300 Afghanistan2001-2008 KIA 585 2009-2012 KIA 1465 and counting Davros 1 Much abliged Massachusetts

03-09-2002, 01:47 PM	#2
Reeka Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice Join Date: March 2, 2001 Location: Birmingham, Alabama, USA Age: 70 Posts: 3,255	John, I loved these! Could I possibly post them somewhere else, with your permission? hugs __________________ <b>Order of the Holy Flame</b><br /><i>Member of Clan HADB</i><br /><b>Laughing Hyena</b><br /><i>Clan Liaison, IW Peace Keeping Force</i><br /><i>[url]\"http://www.the-silver-river.com/Forum/index.php?board=29\" target=\"_blank\">The Silver River VoiceChat!</a><br />Last Saturday of every month. <br />See the forum link for scheduling!<br /><b> </b><br /></i><br /><b>Admin and Co-Owner of [url]\"http://www.the-silver-river.com\" target=\"_blank\">The Silver River</a></b><br />[url]\"http://www.the-silver-river.com\" target=\"_blank\"></a>

03-09-2002, 01:54 PM	#3
Sir ReGiN Gold Dragon Join Date: August 11, 2001 Location: The land of blonde virgins Age: 42 Posts: 2,563	Brilliant! Truly worth considering, and trying yourself too Thank you for that [ 03-09-2002: Message edited by: Sir ReGiN ] __________________ Take a look at your Promised Land<br />Your deed is that gun in your hand

03-09-2002, 02:08 PM	#4
Bahamut Iron Throne Cult Join Date: March 12, 2001 Location: Manila, Philippines Age: 39 Posts: 4,864	LOL!!! That was great!!! and the first quote made me laugh ... so true for me __________________ http://makeallthedifference.blogspot.com http://www.bratgirlcentral.com/cgi-b.../ikonboard.cgi

03-09-2002, 03:02 PM	#5
Staralfur Baaz Draconian Join Date: April 8, 2001 Location: Nottingham, UK Age: 44 Posts: 786	Heehee!!! How about; If all is not lost, where is it? __________________ We\'ve heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the Complete Works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.\"<br />Robert Wilensky <br /><br />\"Why is there only one Monopolies Commission?\" <br />Screaming Lord Sutch<br /><br />If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

03-09-2002, 03:58 PM	#6
John D Harris Ninja Storm Shadow Join Date: March 27, 2001 Location: Northport,Alabama, USA Age: 62 Posts: 3,577	quote: Originally posted by Reeka: John, I loved these! Could I possibly post them somewhere else, with your permission? hugs Miss Reeka Ma'am, Feel free to post'em where ever you like I get'em from old fighter pilots that spend lots of time contimplating their navels and studying the Efrix. __________________ Crustiest of the OLD COOTS "Donating mirrors for years to help the Liberal/Socialist find their collective rear-ends, because both hands doesn't seem to be working. Veitnam 61-65:KIA 1864 66:KIA 5008 67:KIA 9378 68:KIA 14594 69:KIA 9414 70:KIA 4221 71:KIA 1380 72:KIA 300 Afghanistan2001-2008 KIA 585 2009-2012 KIA 1465 and counting Davros 1 Much abliged Massachusetts

03-09-2002, 05:25 PM	#7
AzRaeL StoRmBlaDe Hathor Join Date: October 11, 2001 Location: At My Computer Age: 43 Posts: 2,217	very nice mate, i enjoyed those thoroughly __________________ Now the swinging bridge<br />Is quieted with creepers. . . <br />Like our tendrilled life. -Basho

03-09-2002, 05:32 PM	#8
Aelia Jusa Iron Throne Cult Join Date: August 23, 2001 Location: Brisbane, Australia Age: 43 Posts: 4,867	quote: Originally posted by John D Harris: Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my children are beautiful, but I only have photos of them on the wall. Those are great John, especially this one [img]smile.gif[/img] __________________

03-09-2002, 06:42 PM	#9
John D Harris Ninja Storm Shadow Join Date: March 27, 2001 Location: Northport,Alabama, USA Age: 62 Posts: 3,577	Miss Aelia Ma'am, I do have a couple of Pondscum's heads mounted on my wall Pondscum=Daughters boyfriends __________________ Crustiest of the OLD COOTS "Donating mirrors for years to help the Liberal/Socialist find their collective rear-ends, because both hands doesn't seem to be working. Veitnam 61-65:KIA 1864 66:KIA 5008 67:KIA 9378 68:KIA 14594 69:KIA 9414 70:KIA 4221 71:KIA 1380 72:KIA 300 Afghanistan2001-2008 KIA 585 2009-2012 KIA 1465 and counting Davros 1 Much abliged Massachusetts

03-09-2002, 07:08 PM	#10
/)eathKiller Dracolisk Join Date: January 5, 2002 Location: Guantanamo Bay, Cuba Age: 38 Posts: 6,043	ROTFLMAO! thats so funny! __________________ [img]\"http://membres.lycos.fr/th8or/ZeroSigForIronworks.gif\" alt=\" - \" /> o.o;

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