The Whackmiester's Drunken Rampage 12/21/2003

[img]graemlins/alarm.gif[/img] WARNING!!! HE'S AT IT AGAIN!!! HE'S AT IT AGAIN!! WARNING!!! [img]graemlins/alarm.gif[/img]

This month:
* Hazing: What's the Point?
* Queensbury Rules: Do we really need 'em?
* Orcs: Total Morons.
* Duergar: What they REALLY are.

Hazing: What's the point?

[img]graemlins/troutslap.gif[/img] Does anyone remember back in the summer when there was a High-School Hazing thingy where girls were splattered with Fish Guts and beaten silly? Or maybe you remember walking down the halls of your school and seeing a Freshman getting his backpack shoved up his arse? Today I was wondering: What's the point of hazing the new guy? It's insane! How would getting spanked by a paddle wrapped in barbed wire make you fit in!?

Queensbury Rules: Do we really need 'em?

[img]graemlins/fighting.gif[/img] At the dawn of time, an early man took a big stick and whacked another early man in the back of the head! This was the birth of Tribalism...which eventually lead to ice hockey but before that came the most bizarre thing EVER!!! THE QUEENSBURY RULES TO FIGHTING FAIR!!! What the hell is this!? Isn't the sole purpose of fighting to beat the living crap out of a fellow human being for some stupid reason!?

Orcs: Total Morons!

[img]graemlins/dunce.gif[/img] I was playing NWN and I find a Bolt of Frostbite in a pile of garbage. I'm thinking "What idiot would throw away a perfectly good Bolt of Frostbite!?" And can't those idiots learn how to speak english!?

Duergar: The Truth!

[img]graemlins/pi_lightbulb.gif[/img] Many D&D players think the Duergar are a race of Dwarves that live in the Underdark. But I have the real definition right here:

To the Vikings, a Duergar was an Undead Creature that showed . Once a body was put in a grave, it would be re-animated with strange life and power. This person continued a pseudo life in the grave. They weren't depicted as a spirit or ghost. They were kind of like vampires. They kill by crushing their victim to death. The Duergar could control the weather, move magically through the earth, and knew the future.

The vikings knew how to counter these dark creatures. One of the Methods included putting an open pair of scissors on the corpse's chest, laying straws crosswise under the shroud, tying the big toes together so that the legs could not be separated, and running needles into the soles of the feet.

To kill it, you had to kick it's ass in hand-to-hand combat, wrestle it to the floor, and then cut it's head off with a sword! After this, you'd burn the remains until they were cold ashes and either bury them or throw them out to sea.

If I wrecked your happy little illusion of Duergar being Dwarves living in the underdark, I'm sorry. To compensate, here's a bunch of Kittens.
http://www.thecatgallery.com/cute_kittens_page3.html

[Dragonshadow]

*sigh* I suppose you did warn us.
I never knew about the Duergar before. I guess you learn something from a drunk man's ranpages.

[khazadman]

Aw man, how gross. Did you have to show us those kittens? But that bit about the Duergar was pretty cool.

[Zuvio]

Aaawww.... cute kittens!! [img]graemlins/1daisy.gif[/img]

[Grojlach]

*sigh*
Well, that's another 27.3 seconds of my life I'll never get back... My only consolation is the fact that Whackmiester will most likely have a major hangover when he wakes up today.

Originally posted by Grojlach: *sigh* Well, that's another 27.3 seconds of my life I'll never get back... My only consolation is the fact that Whackmiester will most likely have a major hangover when he wakes up today.

*strangles Grojlach*