Please God help me, I REALLY need some advice here guys.

Tuor · 10-20-2001, 04:45 PM

Help, one of my best mate's girlfriends has just made a blatant, pass at me and I don't know what to do.

She wasn't drunk, high, emotional or in a vulnerable state so it seemed quite a calculated thing. Her and I were watching a video while we were waiting for my friend to come round and hat's when it happened, I told her I wasn't interested but she kept saying he'll never know and trying it on.

I only got rescued when another friend of ours came round.

Anyway that was two weeks ago everytime I see her she's all flirty and I can't get the message across to her that I'm not interested, it's not that I don't find her atractive, I do but its my mates girlfriend they've been going out seven years and he wants to marry her (I think)

What do I do, Do I tell him? The problem is I don't want to break up our friendship because I've known him 20 years so I'd prefer a way of getting rid of her so he never finds out what happened.

Please somebody anybody help, I'm at my wits end-my other frineds have been absolutely no help at all.

Cheers

Neb · 10-20-2001, 04:49 PM

This sounds like some serious trouble, beyond trying to make her understand that you are not interested, I can't tell you what I'd do because I have absolutely NO idea, best of luck, hope someone here is able to give you better advice than I am.

Ladyzekke · 10-20-2001, 04:56 PM

Sorry to hear that Tuor, you seem to be suck between a rock and a hard place

If she is flirting with you, and wanting to do it behind your mate's back, then how much does she care for your mate? And even if you thought of a way to get her off your back, wouldn't some later time come wherein she did the same thing to someone else? If it were my mate, I would not want him to get further hurt by thinking things were real in his relationship when it is a lie. Seems to me no matter what you do or not do, your mate may be in jeapardy of getting hurt, so you might as well go with the truth eh?

------------------

Lioness · 10-20-2001, 04:57 PM

Wow, I know this must be hard for you. My best advice would be to ignore her, and continue to tell her you aren't interested in her. Good luck.

P.S. Sweet sig, Lady Z!

------------------

Lil' Angel

Sword Saint and Enchantress of the HADB Clan
The Lady Lioness of Castle Kerhelm
Waitress at Cloudy's Cafe and the Promised Land
Official Restrainer of Table Dancers
PeaceKeeping Force, Intelligence Division
Emerald Dragoness of DOTW

[This message has been edited by Lioness (edited 10-20-2001).]

Avatar · 10-20-2001, 04:58 PM

You must tell her and make her see sence before you tell him..

------------------

Creator and Diamond Bladesinger of ALSB
Body Guard of Lioness
Spam Sentinel
Saint of Ironworks
Winner of EPSRC 2000 Science Website is @
http://www.epsrc-sciencerace.net/schools2000/534121/
My own Forgotten Realms Website is @
http://www.forgottenrealms.main-page.com[/list]

10-20-2001, 04:59 PM

I do not know your friend, so I cannot tell how he will react, but I think you should tell him. It's absolutely not your fault she's flirting with you, you aren't even interested. The worst thing that can happen is that he'll dump her, which, after seven years, isn't very likely. If you don't say anything, things may work out too, but suppose they get married and she runs off with another then. I'd be heartbroken in that situation. I'm not saying this will happen, they can easily become very happy together, but in the long run I think telling won't do any real harm and may make worst-case scenarios easier to accept for your friend. Good luck, Tuor.

------------------
The last arrow of Legolas kindled in the air as it flew,
and plunged burning into the heart of a great wolf-chieftain.
All the others fled. -J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

10-20-2001, 05:01 PM

Woww, that's trouble man... But I think that you should confront her and make her realise that you don't want to spoil your friendship because of her. But I don't think it'd be a good idea to tell your friend about it. It will lead to problems. But perhaps, if he's seriously considering marrying her, he should know that she isn't that loyal...

Arvon · 10-20-2001, 05:02 PM

I find this a strange place to ask for help. But if you have a trusted common friend you might ask them. I can't answer cause I don't know your RL personality or that of your friend.

The post above seems, on the surface, to be the best solution.

------------------
Avast There mates..make yer way here and drop yer anchor. We'll swap some lies and have a Black Jack o' ale.

10-20-2001, 05:04 PM

Sorry to hear about your trouble there, mate. I've had that problem twice in the past myself. I think the best thing to do would just be to talk things through with her, and really try and make her listen. Don't tell your friend just yet because that will no doubt split them up. Try and work it out alone with her first, tell her everything you've told us, and there's a good chance she'll respect that. If she keeps on doing it, well then as a last resort you'll have to tell your friend....

Great sig btw Ladyzekke, very firey!

------------------

Formidable Flirty Fishy Sorcerer of the HADB

10-20-2001, 05:11 PM

Best would be to tell your friend
Let him resort this with his girlfriend

As LZ said if she's flirting behind his back, how much would she care for him?
Who says she will be faithfull with him if they get married?
It's best to tell him about it, either they break up because she is just not worth him, or everything will turn out fine and their relationship will turn out better.
As hard as it is, it's the best thing to do

------------------
Behold he who stands before you

Almighty (shared) Leader of the OHF
Proud member of the Ancients Club
The one True Druidic Sorcerer of the Laughing Hyena's
Last of the Ancient race known as the Red Fluffies
Summoner of Bunnies

Spam Sentinal of the Ironworks
"You can Run, You can Hide,
But you can never do both"

I'm Watching you...

10-20-2001, 04:58 PM	#5
Avatar Vampire Join Date: April 28, 2001 Location: Cambridge Age: 40 Posts: 3,877	You must tell her and make her see sence before you tell him.. ------------------ Creator and Diamond Bladesinger of ALSB Body Guard of Lioness Spam Sentinel Saint of Ironworks Winner of EPSRC 2000 Science Website is @ http://www.epsrc-sciencerace.net/schools2000/534121/ My own Forgotten Realms Website is @ http://www.forgottenrealms.main-page.com[/list]

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10-20-2001, 04:45 PM	#1
Tuor Elminster Join Date: June 17, 2001 Location: england Posts: 409	Help, one of my best mate's girlfriends has just made a blatant, pass at me and I don't know what to do. She wasn't drunk, high, emotional or in a vulnerable state so it seemed quite a calculated thing. Her and I were watching a video while we were waiting for my friend to come round and hat's when it happened, I told her I wasn't interested but she kept saying he'll never know and trying it on. I only got rescued when another friend of ours came round. Anyway that was two weeks ago everytime I see her she's all flirty and I can't get the message across to her that I'm not interested, it's not that I don't find her atractive, I do but its my mates girlfriend they've been going out seven years and he wants to marry her (I think) What do I do, Do I tell him? The problem is I don't want to break up our friendship because I've known him 20 years so I'd prefer a way of getting rid of her so he never finds out what happened. Please somebody anybody help, I'm at my wits end-my other frineds have been absolutely no help at all. Cheers

10-20-2001, 04:49 PM	#2
Neb Account deleted by Request Join Date: May 17, 2001 Location: . Age: 38 Posts: 8,802	This sounds like some serious trouble, beyond trying to make her understand that you are not interested, I can't tell you what I'd do because I have absolutely NO idea, best of luck, hope someone here is able to give you better advice than I am.

10-20-2001, 04:56 PM	#3
Ladyzekke Ironworks Atomic Moderator Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Virginia, U.S.A. Age: 57 Posts: 9,005	Sorry to hear that Tuor, you seem to be suck between a rock and a hard place If she is flirting with you, and wanting to do it behind your mate's back, then how much does she care for your mate? And even if you thought of a way to get her off your back, wouldn't some later time come wherein she did the same thing to someone else? If it were my mate, I would not want him to get further hurt by thinking things were real in his relationship when it is a lie. Seems to me no matter what you do or not do, your mate may be in jeapardy of getting hurt, so you might as well go with the truth eh? ------------------

10-20-2001, 04:57 PM	#4
Lioness Jack Burton Join Date: June 3, 2001 Location: Among the Stars Age: 36 Posts: 5,837	Wow, I know this must be hard for you. My best advice would be to ignore her, and continue to tell her you aren't interested in her. Good luck. P.S. Sweet sig, Lady Z! ------------------ Lil' Angel Sword Saint and Enchantress of the HADB Clan The Lady Lioness of Castle Kerhelm Waitress at Cloudy's Cafe and the Promised Land Official Restrainer of Table Dancers PeaceKeeping Force, Intelligence Division Emerald Dragoness of DOTW [This message has been edited by Lioness (edited 10-20-2001).]

10-20-2001, 04:59 PM	#6
Legolas the Elven Archer Guest Posts: n/a	I do not know your friend, so I cannot tell how he will react, but I think you should tell him. It's absolutely not your fault she's flirting with you, you aren't even interested. The worst thing that can happen is that he'll dump her, which, after seven years, isn't very likely. If you don't say anything, things may work out too, but suppose they get married and she runs off with another then. I'd be heartbroken in that situation. I'm not saying this will happen, they can easily become very happy together, but in the long run I think telling won't do any real harm and may make worst-case scenarios easier to accept for your friend. Good luck, Tuor. ------------------ The last arrow of Legolas kindled in the air as it flew, and plunged burning into the heart of a great wolf-chieftain. All the others fled. -J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

10-20-2001, 05:01 PM	#7
mitsos Guest Posts: n/a	Woww, that's trouble man... But I think that you should confront her and make her realise that you don't want to spoil your friendship because of her. But I don't think it'd be a good idea to tell your friend about it. It will lead to problems. But perhaps, if he's seriously considering marrying her, he should know that she isn't that loyal...

10-20-2001, 05:02 PM	#8
Arvon Unicorn Join Date: October 4, 2001 Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus Posts: 4,212	I find this a strange place to ask for help. But if you have a trusted common friend you might ask them. I can't answer cause I don't know your RL personality or that of your friend. The post above seems, on the surface, to be the best solution. ------------------ Avast There mates..make yer way here and drop yer anchor. We'll swap some lies and have a Black Jack o' ale.

10-20-2001, 05:04 PM	#9
Sorcerer Alex Guest Posts: n/a	Sorry to hear about your trouble there, mate. I've had that problem twice in the past myself. I think the best thing to do would just be to talk things through with her, and really try and make her listen. Don't tell your friend just yet because that will no doubt split them up. Try and work it out alone with her first, tell her everything you've told us, and there's a good chance she'll respect that. If she keeps on doing it, well then as a last resort you'll have to tell your friend.... Great sig btw Ladyzekke, very firey! ------------------ Formidable Flirty Fishy Sorcerer of the HADB

10-20-2001, 05:11 PM	#10
Rikard Guest Posts: n/a	Best would be to tell your friend Let him resort this with his girlfriend As LZ said if she's flirting behind his back, how much would she care for him? Who says she will be faithfull with him if they get married? It's best to tell him about it, either they break up because she is just not worth him, or everything will turn out fine and their relationship will turn out better. As hard as it is, it's the best thing to do ------------------ Behold he who stands before you Almighty (shared) Leader of the OHF Proud member of the Ancients Club The one True Druidic Sorcerer of the Laughing Hyena's Last of the Ancient race known as the Red Fluffies Summoner of Bunnies Spam Sentinal of the Ironworks "You can Run, You can Hide, But you can never do both" I'm Watching you...

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