06-28-2003, 01:59 PM | #1 |
Ra
Join Date: May 19, 2002
Location: The US of A
Age: 35
Posts: 2,365
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Welcome post all your jokes here and we all can share a laugh [img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img]
There was the duck and he walked into a bar. Duck said to the bartender "Have any grapes?" "Sorry we all out." The duck left and came back the next day. "Have any grapes" "Sorry we all out." Next day "Have any grapes" "I told you sir we are all out" Next day "Have any grapes." "We don't serve grapes here so shoo!" Next day "Have any grapes?" "Dammit I told you we don't have and *bleep* grapes here you dumb *bleep* F*bleep*ked up Duck! Next time you come here I'll nail your *bleep*kin beak to the bar!" The duck was quite shocked! The duck stayed quiet and asked "Have any nails?" "No" "Have any grapes?" The next day there was recently dug up spot behind the bar.
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06-28-2003, 02:54 PM | #2 |
Symbol of Moradin
Join Date: June 5, 2002
Location: Slovenia,Ljubljana
Age: 36
Posts: 8,554
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ROFLMAO!
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06-28-2003, 03:11 PM | #3 |
Zartan
Join Date: May 20, 2003
Location: Near Aberdeen, Scotland
Age: 34
Posts: 5,225
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this is my joke.
two dwarves win the lottery and decide they want to enjoy themselves so they get a prostitute and a room each. The first dwarf is annoyed because he cant get an erection but all he can hear in the next room is 1-2-3-4 ahh, 1-2-3-4 ahh. So the next morning the second dwarf asks the first dwarf how his night was and he says, it was crap, i couldnt even get an erection; yours sounded good though, the second dwarf then replied, mine was even worse i couldnt even get on the bed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [img]graemlins/firedevil.gif[/img]
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06-28-2003, 03:16 PM | #4 |
Symbol of Moradin
Join Date: June 5, 2002
Location: Slovenia,Ljubljana
Age: 36
Posts: 8,554
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Where do you get this things guys?
Here is mine: Why does a chicken goes over the street?Becuase he wants to come on the other side of the street....haha |
06-28-2003, 03:25 PM | #5 |
Zartan
Join Date: May 20, 2003
Location: Near Aberdeen, Scotland
Age: 34
Posts: 5,225
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iv got more but most of them are rude!!
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06-28-2003, 04:13 PM | #6 |
Hathor
Join Date: February 18, 2002
Location: Vienna
Age: 42
Posts: 2,248
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The Saloon doors spring open and a big badass cowboy enters yelling:
"Who the hell here is John Smith!" A thin man stands up: "That's me" "You goddamn motherf****" The cowboy goes up to him punches him in the stomach, knocks him out with an uppercut and leaves the Saloon. The barkeeper and some patrons try to wake him up again and succeed 10 minutes later. He smiles: "I sure got him" "Huh" "I ain't John Smith"
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\"I am forever spellbound by the frailty of life\"<br /><br /> Faceman |
06-28-2003, 04:24 PM | #7 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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I'm Saddam.
Saddam I am. I do not like you, Uncle Sam. Would you like to bomb Iran? We'll sell you weapons, despite the ban. I would not like to bomb Iran! Praise be to Allah, and Koran! Those weapons are against convention... Nevermind Geneva, pay no attention! We hate Iran, it's our contention. We have no qualm, no apprehension! I'll give this task to Ibrahim. He'll make a plan! He'll plot a scheme! Business as usual with your regime. My inner circle is full of turds. Is it any surprise that we'd gas the Kurds? We knew you gassed them in '88. We weren't concerned 'til you raided Kuwait. You caused my invasion to be abated, I'm now on your list of most hated. Alright, you win I'll withdraw. I'll also kill my son-in-law. With so little blood spilled on your soil, your plot was much too easy to foil. Could this war have been for oil? What is this sound? What is this treason? Don't mind me, I'm the voice of reason. Now you've started another war, in time for the election of 2004. We won this war without a hitch! You hippies have no right to bitch! But won't this war make Bechtel rich? Who would you hire to repair Iraq? Germany? Russia? Or Jacques Chirac? This debate is tedious and may go on forever. To document it in rhyme is a tremendous endeavor. Perhaps it's best to let it die. Justification is in the beholder's eye. What will the media report without a war? Real news is such a dreadful chore. Shark attacks, SARS, invasion from Mars. Terrorism, sports cars, and Hollywood stars. Until we declare war on North Korea, we'll have to settle for this journalistic diarrhea. This discourse could go on, but what's the use? It's just a tribute to Dr. Seuss LOL |
06-28-2003, 05:29 PM | #8 |
40th Level Warrior
Join Date: March 24, 2002
Posts: 10,215
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gee... I didn't get it. every single one of them.
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06-28-2003, 05:38 PM | #9 |
Ra
Join Date: May 19, 2002
Location: The US of A
Age: 35
Posts: 2,365
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Ok the first post my joke about the duck.
The duck wanted to see if the bartender was bluffing or not and if the bartender didn't the duck would then be humilating the bartender ontop of that asking for grapes again. The duck paid for that with his life. Dwarf joke I don't get. Xen's self explantory. Sprirts Forever ...........I am not even going to make a comment about that. I didn't read it all. Since I rarely read anything that long except in books! P.S. How do you find your very very first post? P.S.2. I HAVE 800 posts WOO
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06-28-2003, 05:45 PM | #10 |
Ra
Join Date: May 19, 2002
Location: The US of A
Age: 35
Posts: 2,365
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There was this little boy on the bus. He said loudly "If my mom was a girl cheetah and my dad a boy cheetah they would have me a little boy cheetah." He said again. "If my mom was a GIRL elephant and my dad a BOY elephant they would have me a little boy elephant."
The little young chap was coming up with diffrent animals. He was on a field trip to a mueseum in New York while they were in Kentucky. He was going on and on for many hours. The bus driver was getting annoyed and stopped the bus. And loudly said "What if your father is GAY and your mother a PROSTITUTE? The little kid was silent then smiled and said "Bus Driver"
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