What Goes on Within a Cat's Mind

Luvian · 11-26-2002, 11:14 PM

What goes through a cat's mind...

Monday - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the satisfaction from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

Tuesday - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to throw up on their favorite chair... must try this on their bed.

Wednesday - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

Thursday - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan......

Friday - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

Saturday - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

Sunday - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to molespeak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.

Larry_OHF · 11-26-2002, 11:30 PM

This has got to be one of the best cat jokes I ahve ever read! I gotta send it straight to my sister now. She'll love it. Thanks!

Lord Starshadow · 11-26-2002, 11:31 PM

Yes! That sounds almost exactly like what my cat must be thinking! Especially the part about making sure no one gets sleep. So funny, this was. [img]smile.gif[/img]

There's nothing about waking the cat up while he's trying to sleep. I know my cat must be fuming about that one. Wonder what he's thinking...

Night Stalker · 11-26-2002, 11:42 PM

Hey, this was great! ..... Much needed. [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img]

chrisofthedale · 11-26-2002, 11:50 PM

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!

Luvian · 11-27-2002, 12:02 AM

And here is a little flash aimation for cat lovers... Move your mouse around, to play with the cat.

If you raise your sound you can hear the cat too.

antryg · 11-27-2002, 12:05 AM

The cat at my work has mastered the fearsome "allergy attack".
I am now in hiding.

chrisofthedale · 11-27-2002, 12:09 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by antryg:
The cat at my work has mastered the fearsome "allergy attack".
I am now in hiding.

You too!?

Neuromancer · 11-27-2002, 07:14 AM

I've read that cat joke as a dog/cat inner-life joke.
The dog part went somenthing like that :

Sunday - Food. Yipieee ! Master come home. Yipieee ! Walk ! Yipppie !
Monday - Food. Yipieee ! Master come home. Yipieee ! Walk ! Yipppie !
Tuesday - Food. Yipieee ! Master come home. Yipieee ! Walk ! Yipppie !
Wednesday - Food. Yipieee ! Master come home. Yipieee ! Walk ! Yipppie !
Thursday - Food. Yipieee ! Master come home. Yipieee ! Walk ! Yipppie !
Friday - Food. Yipieee ! Master come home. Yipieee ! Walk ! Yipppie !
Saturday - Bath ! Bummer !

and continued with the cat part...

Neuro.

Luvian · 11-27-2002, 01:13 PM

I like the cat part a lot better.

11-26-2002, 11:14 PM	#1
Luvian Ironworks Moderator Join Date: June 27, 2001 Location: Montreal, Quebec, Canada Age: 43 Posts: 6,763	What goes through a cat's mind... Monday - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the satisfaction from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Tuesday - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to throw up on their favorite chair... must try this on their bed. Wednesday - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night. Thursday - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan...... Friday - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth. Saturday - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. Sunday - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to molespeak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time. __________________ Once upon a time in Canada...

11-26-2002, 11:30 PM	#2
Larry_OHF Ironworks Moderator Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Midlands, South Carolina Age: 48 Posts: 14,759	This has got to be one of the best cat jokes I ahve ever read! I gotta send it straight to my sister now. She'll love it. Thanks! __________________

11-26-2002, 11:31 PM	#3
Lord Starshadow Quintesson Join Date: October 3, 2002 Location: The plane of non-existence... and Michigan Age: 43 Posts: 1,087	Yes! That sounds almost exactly like what my cat must be thinking! Especially the part about making sure no one gets sleep. So funny, this was. [img]smile.gif[/img] There's nothing about waking the cat up while he's trying to sleep. I know my cat must be fuming about that one. Wonder what he's thinking... __________________ Bah, I don\'t need a sig. You all don\'t care what I do anyway. <img border=\"0\" title=\"\" alt=\"[Razz]\" src=\"tongue.gif\" />

11-26-2002, 11:42 PM	#4
Night Stalker Lord Ao Join Date: June 24, 2002 Location: Nevernever Land Age: 49 Posts: 2,002	Hey, this was great! ..... Much needed. [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img] __________________ [url]\"http://www.duryea.org/pinky/gurkin.wav\" target=\"_blank\">AYPWIP?</a> .... <img border=\"0\" alt=\"[1ponder]\" title=\"\" src=\"graemlins/1ponder.gif\" /> <br />\"I think so Brain, but isn\'t a cucumber that small called a gherkin?\"<br /><br />Shut UP! Pinky!

11-27-2002, 12:02 AM	#6
Luvian Ironworks Moderator Join Date: June 27, 2001 Location: Montreal, Quebec, Canada Age: 43 Posts: 6,763	And here is a little flash aimation for cat lovers... Move your mouse around, to play with the cat. If you raise your sound you can hear the cat too. __________________ Once upon a time in Canada...

11-26-2002, 11:50 PM	#5
chrisofthedale Account Removed by Request Join Date: September 9, 2002 Location: Canada Age: 36 Posts: 534	ROTFLMAO!!!!!!

11-27-2002, 12:05 AM	#7
antryg Fzoul Chembryl Join Date: August 30, 2002 Location: Dallas, Tx. Age: 21 Posts: 1,765	The cat at my work has mastered the fearsome "allergy attack". I am now in hiding. __________________

11-27-2002, 07:14 AM	#9
Neuromancer Manshoon Join Date: May 24, 2002 Location: Slovenia Age: 56 Posts: 166	I've read that cat joke as a dog/cat inner-life joke. The dog part went somenthing like that : Sunday - Food. Yipieee ! Master come home. Yipieee ! Walk ! Yipppie ! Monday - Food. Yipieee ! Master come home. Yipieee ! Walk ! Yipppie ! Tuesday - Food. Yipieee ! Master come home. Yipieee ! Walk ! Yipppie ! Wednesday - Food. Yipieee ! Master come home. Yipieee ! Walk ! Yipppie ! Thursday - Food. Yipieee ! Master come home. Yipieee ! Walk ! Yipppie ! Friday - Food. Yipieee ! Master come home. Yipieee ! Walk ! Yipppie ! Saturday - Bath ! Bummer ! and continued with the cat part... Neuro. __________________ /* Chapter Fifteen, Elementary Necromancy. Lesson One: Correct Use of Shovel... */

11-27-2002, 01:13 PM	#10
Luvian Ironworks Moderator Join Date: June 27, 2001 Location: Montreal, Quebec, Canada Age: 43 Posts: 6,763	I like the cat part a lot better. __________________ Once upon a time in Canada...

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