The Funny Bone- A collection of web jokes

[Arvon]

The Beer Prayer

Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink,
Thy will be drunk,
At home as I am in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us,
and lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers,
For thine is the beer,
The bitter and the lager,
Forever and ever,
Barmen.

[ 02-12-2003, 12:51 PM: Message edited by: Arvon ]

[Arvon]

Another web funny....

No Climbing

A little old lady, who lived on the third floor of a boardinghouse, broke her leg. As the doctor put a cast on it, he warned her not to climb any stairs. Several months later, the doctor took off the cast.
"Can I climb stairs now?" asked the little old lady. "Yes," he replied.

"Thank goodness!" she said. "I'm sick and tired of shinnying up and down that drainpipe!"

[/)eathKiller]

lol the second one was good [img]tongue.gif[/img] first one i've seen before [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[Arvon]

Adding to the web crime....

Idiots Stand Up

"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up," said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.

"Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" inquired the teacher with a sneer.

"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."

[Arvon]

I like this one..yes the web.

The Soup

After his recent stay in the hospital, Pa was particularly irritable, especially regarding food. At a nearby restaurant he stopped for a quick meal and the waiter provided a bowl of soup.

As the waiter turned away to return to the kitchen Pa stopped him, calling: "Waiter!"

"Yes ,sir, is there something wrong?"

"The soup. Taste it," replied Pa.

"I beg your pardon, Sir?"

"Taste it."

"But, Sir, I can assure you that the soup is excellent."

"Taste it," Pa persisted.

"Sir, the soup was made this morning of the finest ingredients."

"Taste it!"

The exasperated waiter finally relented. "All right, Sir, I'll taste it." Then after a pause he said, "Where is the spoon?"

To which Pa replied triumphantly, "Ah ha ... "

[Charlie]

(RENAMED) The Funny Bone

That was humoros.

[Annatar]

heheheh those things are funny

[AzRaeL StoRmBlaDe]

I'de expect LOA to post the beer prayer.

[Arvon]

And the saga continues...from the web:

The Sin Of Lying

A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."

The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."

[Arvon]

I'm not giving up...yet...

Old Fart

The man told his doctor that he wasn`t able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what`s wrong with me."
"Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "You`re just a plain old lazy fart."

"Thank You." said the man. "Now give me the medical term, so I can tell my wife!"