Male Benefits

[Callum Kerr]

Being a man definitely has its perks...

1. Your backside is never a factor in a job interview.

2. Your orgasms are real. Always.

3. Your last name stays put.

4. The garage is all yours.

5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.

6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from having an elicit affair.

7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

8. You don't give a hoot if no one notices your new haircut.

9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

10. Same work .. more pay.

11. Wrinkles-add character.

12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.

13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.

14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

17. One mood, ALL the time.

18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.

19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.

20. You can open all your own jars.

21.You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

22. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

23. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

24. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

26. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."

27. No maxi-pads.

28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

30. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

31. You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.

32. The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.

33. Your belly usually hides your big hips.

34. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

35. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.

36. Christmas shopping can be done for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 15 minutes.

37. The world is your urinal.

[Sigmar]

Your very first point...what if the person interviewing you is female?

[Timber Loftis]

What if she is? I think the joke makes the assumption that, while they may like certain asses as opposed to others, women can escape the confines of thinking about sex long enough to not let your big bum be a factor.

We men, on the other hand, always think about and factor in sex appeal - even when we are being very very mindful to *not* think that way.

[Piestrider]

I'm not touching that with a ten foot pole. I'll probably say something stupid and all the women here will jump on my a** (not literally of course )

[Sigmar]

Originally posted by Timber Loftis: What if she is? I think the joke makes the assumption that, while they may like certain asses as opposed to others, women can escape the confines of thinking about sex long enough to not let your big bum be a factor. We men, on the other hand, always think about and factor in sex appeal - even when we are being very very mindful to *not* think that way.

Your insightful words speak volumes master Loftis

They make sense too.

"I'm not touching that with a ten foot pole. I'll probably say something stupid and all the women here will jump on my a**"

You're right this thread's a ticking time bomb *panics and jumps out the nearest window*

[ 01-03-2003, 12:51 PM: Message edited by: Sigmar ]

[johnny]

Originally posted by Sigmar: Your very first point...what if the person interviewing you is female?

Or worse, what if the interviewer is gay ?

[Animal]

Originally posted by johnny: quote: Originally posted by Sigmar: Your very first point...what if the person interviewing you is female?

Or worse, what if the interviewer is gay ? [/QUOTE]Or LoA?

Okay that was uncalled for, sorry man, but it just had to be said!
Awwh, come on! You know that all of you were thinking it, I just happened to be the one with the scrote to say it!

[ 01-03-2003, 09:44 PM: Message edited by: Animal ]

[Sigmar]

Originally posted by johnny: quote: Originally posted by Sigmar: Your very first point...what if the person interviewing you is female?

Or worse, what if the interviewer is gay ? [/QUOTE]That too

[DJG]