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Old 12-21-2005, 10:21 PM   #1
Aelia Jusa
Iron Throne Cult
Tetris Champion
Join Date: August 23, 2001
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Age: 37
Posts: 4,867
The time has come, present-giverers!! Post your gifts here anytime up to Christmas day and wait for the heaping thanks and appreciation fall upon you! Please make sure you have posted your gift before Christmas is over, and don't forget to check for the gift you've been given! Putting the recipient's name in colour or bold is a good idea so it's more visible [img]smile.gif[/img]

And... Merry Christmas!!
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Old 12-22-2005, 05:47 AM   #2
Gold Dragon

Join Date: August 6, 2004
Location: North East England
Age: 29
Posts: 2,561
Ok, I'll guess I'll go first (being the early-bird and all)

I struggled a bit with thinking of a gift. Your profile didn’t hold too much info on you, so I had to go all “Sherlock Holmes” on you

Finding the forums you visit the most I thought of and made your ideal Christmas present. I hope you like it!

This Christmas will be one to remember, ZFR!

You wake up on the morn of December 25th and hear a knock at your door. Opening it you see…nothing, but a squeaky voice shouts “Down here, stupid!”

“Special request, I’m to take you somewhere for the holidays,” He adds.

Just as you consider asking “Where are you taking me?” he holds out a thin book, simply labelled “Merry Christmas ZFR”.

You open the first page:

Merry Christmas ZFR!

As you are reading this it must mean the gnome I hired made it to you safely. Your present for this Christmas is an all expenses paid trip to a small place called Faerûn!

Your transport will be a brand new, state-of-the-art airship piloted by none other than Oswald Fiddlebender.

You will not be travelling on your own, a number of professionals have accepted contracts to protect you and guide you throughout your travels of the land of Faerûn.

The next three pages are CV’s of three hired grunts to keep you safe in your travels.

Name: Althanz the Incredibly Good-Looking
Class: Mage
Race: Elf
Description: Althanz is an elf from the city of Suldanessellar far south of Icewind Dale. He will be the firepower on your journey.
His parents are rumoured to have been extremely friendly with a few important figures, namely the Gods, and thus were granted their son to be the most handsome elf alive. This has given him the title “Althanz the Incredibly Good-Looking”. He is a capable mage and will go any lengths to keep you alive.

Name: Thilur
Class: Fighter
Race: Dwarf
Description: Thilur is a born and raised Icewind Dale dwarf. Hard as nails he will be the one who takes, and dishes out, the beatings.

Name: Red the Stabber-of-Backs
Class: Rogue
Race: Human
Description: Red has been a strange find. I haven’t been able to contact any of his previous employers but he assures me he is good and his namesake is just a terrible coincidence.
He has guaranteed that he will watch your back (and your coin purse) throughout the trip.

Now that you have your party, time to start your trip, yes?

You will be flown, first class, to Kuldahar where you will stay in the exquisite “Root Cellar” inn.

After a few days staying in Kuldahar you will get to meet the locals and visit a few points of interest in the area such as the ancient dwarven ruins Dorns Deep, and the ancient elven ruins the Shattered Hand.

From Kuldahar you will travel south to the legendry Baldur’s Gate. With a special pass to see inside the Flaming Fist Headquarters among other places, this will be a visit of great interest.

Then you will fly south on Oswald Fiddlebender’s airship to the City of Coin, Athkatla! Spending a full day shopping around the world-renown Waukeen’s Promenade you can pick up some souvenirs for yourself and others.

Why not visit The Adventurers Mart? Ribald Barterman will be happy to lend his expert advice on all things sharp, dangerous and deadly.

From Athkatla you will travel to the small town of Trademeet to witness the Christmas Flea Markets. Some amazing bargains can be found on the stalls.

Your final stop will be to the elven city of Suldanessellar. It is a rare occasion that a human may enter the city, but special circumstances have been made. Your special VIP Gold ticket will allow you everywhere but one place – Queen Ellesime’s palace.

We hope you have a fun trip, and from all at Ivelliis Travel, we hope you have a safe trip!

Merry Christmas ZFR!
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Old 12-22-2005, 11:24 AM   #3
Osiris - Egyptian God of the Underworld

Join Date: May 22, 2001
Location: Sherwoodpark,Alberta,Canada
Age: 46
Posts: 2,929
Not going to be as fan as IVe.

But Bungleau I could not get much info from other than your age. You young wippersnapper you.

But I get the feeling that you enjoy the odd gaming sesion sooooo. With further a do enjoy.

your gift
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Old 12-22-2005, 11:56 AM   #4
40th Level Warrior

Join Date: October 29, 2001
Location: Western Wilds of Michigan
Posts: 11,752
Well, friend Sever, it's time for your Christmas present... Ya know, it's awfully hard shopping for someone who won't explain their sig, even when you put out a perfectly wonderful opportunity to do so...

So, in that regard, the first part of your present is a membership in the Pie of the Month club. Yes, every month, regular as clockwork, a package will arrive at your door containing three new, different, and wonderfully fantastic pies, all relevant to the season. January promises to be a good one, with a mint chocolate cream pie, a hot apple with cinnamon pie, and a home-made peach cobbler. They wouldn't tell me what pies were scheduled for February and beyond, but I'm sure they'll be grand [img]smile.gif[/img]

Of course, with all that pie, you'll need something to do while you're eating. So open up that next package... it's got a new pugilistic parser in it, an interesting device that parses time out and will let you travel back in time to see any events that you wish! Unfortunately, it's still in development mode, and the only thing you can go back to see are boxing matches, but I don't think that will be much of a problem, will it?

Your third present is in that small envelope over there... yes, that one. It's the directo contact information for your own personal Sony Tech Support line! That's right... a hotline direct to Sony that will let you work right with the manufacturer to get your DVD player fixed and behaving properly. You'll be watching The Crow in no time, with another piece of pie waiting on the kitchen counter.

And finally... since life isn't all about time travel, DVDs, and food... something to help with the most important thing of all... gaming! Yes, on that shiny CD in the last package is a small program that Santa's elves whipped up special, just for you. It's a Morrowind Auto-Cam, a special TSR program that will automatically record every battle, every combat, and every step of every adventure in Morrowind. No more bemoaning the fact that you didn't have a screen cam going during that epic battle, or that you couldn't get a screen cap of that conjurer with a Bonelord on its head... just play back in fast, regular, or slow motion, save the bits you want, and share them easily with all your friends!

Save Early, Save Often Save Before, Save After
Two-Star General, Spelling Soldiers
Give 'em a hug one more time. It might be the last.
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Old 12-22-2005, 12:18 PM   #5
40th Level Warrior

Join Date: October 29, 2001
Location: Western Wilds of Michigan
Posts: 11,752
Thanks, Mack! That's quite an upgrade from my current machines (heck, all of 'em put together!) I'll have to make sure I give it proper homage and dedication

*leaves room* ahh... I'll be busy for the next few days, folks... gotta break this one in..
Save Early, Save Often Save Before, Save After
Two-Star General, Spelling Soldiers
Give 'em a hug one more time. It might be the last.
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Old 12-22-2005, 12:56 PM   #6
Jack Burton

Join Date: May 15, 2001
Location: The Netherlands
Age: 34
Posts: 5,888
It's a special day indeed for Hivetyrant!

Upon waking up, abovementioned Ironworks celebrity finds out that not one, but two presents have been pushed - rather violently, if I might add - into one of his red fluffy socks. You know, the ones with the penguins on it which the dog has chewed on for more than one occasion.

While inspecting the socks exterior, Hivetyrant ultimately notices that something quite heavy must be inhabiting his socks for the moment. Seeing no need to wait any longer, he takes a peek inside and... lo and behold! The first gift he sees is the famous Amazing Who Cares Machine! Now you don't have to listen to all your friends' tales about their pet rodents doing backflips, and the latest exploits they've figured out in Ms Pacman! Just place you machine near them, turn it on - preferably in a funny voice, so they don't hate you right away - and let them know how you really feel!

Thrilled with excitement for receiving this wonderful present, Hive plunges down his sock a second time to look for his next present. Again, he is baffled with what he finds. A voucher! And not just a voucher, it's an exquisite one enabling Hivetyrant to enjoy one jacuzzi-experience with a famous celebrity of his choice! Now that's a present worth hoping for, eh?*

*NOTE: Celebrity Jacuzzi Inc. does not hand out refunds because of drooling, stuttering, or other embarrassing actions that may jeopardise the success of forementioned date. We are, however, willing to compensate by supplying you with a free poster of Heidi Klum - wearing a bathrobe. I'm sorry, we couldn't get Seal to agree with a more suitable picture.

[ 12-22-2005, 11:57 AM: Message edited by: Link ]
Rowing is not a sport, it's a way of life

Goal: Beijing 2008
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Old 12-22-2005, 01:21 PM   #7
Illumina Drathiran'ar
5 Card Draw Champion Spy Hunter Champion
Join Date: July 10, 2002
Location: I can see the Manhattan skyline from my window.
Age: 33
Posts: 4,673
Mm... I couldn't be happier with who I got. Dave the Quack, or Dayve as I call him here in the Staytes, will recieve a gift of unparalleled fabulosity. You might want to sit down for this one.

Dave will recieve a whirlwind vacation and live the life of Illumina for ONE WEEK in early May! Yes, Dave, for a week you can meet celebrities like Erin and Anne, eat a myriad of junk food, go clubbing in the city, see the Met and the Museum of Sex, hike in the mountains, go to the Jersey shore and much, much more!

Oh. As that's in May, we have for you an evening of oil massages and dark chocolate. I think we'll have to paradrop someone in within the week, mmkay? I tried to get Hayden Christensen but he stopped answering my calls, so it'll have to be a surprise.
PLAY THIS GAME. Seriously.

My heart is like my coffee. Black, bitter, icy, and with a straw.
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Old 12-22-2005, 02:19 PM   #8
Dungeon Master

Join Date: July 27, 2005
Posts: 52
For Mack_Attack:
A Short Sword of Backstabbing with "Teleport to Artifact" once a day.
With the sword is a Deck of Many Things, when you want to get rid of unwanted guests by playing cards.
A picture with reserve of some misaccuracies.
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Old 12-22-2005, 02:28 PM   #9
Iron Greasel
Fzoul Chembryl

Join Date: July 13, 2004
Location: Finland
Age: 29
Posts: 1,701
You have the honour of receiving the gift of:
A rift in the time-space continuum!
The rift itself, or at least a part of it, is placed inside a matchbox that is folded on itself in such freakish way that you can manipulate the past so that the box was made bigger or smaller. This way the box fits in a pocket, but allows large objects to be put through it.

Beyond the rift there doth lie a beautiful middle-aged yellow star, which I have named Sanzibar after my cat. Three planets, Elmo, Rory, and Goosnarch circle the star.

Elmo, the closest planet is a massive gas giant. The delivery people apparently messed something up, for it has about 300 more moons than the original model. And some of the moons have moons. I tried complaining, but apparently the whole company sank into ocean or moved to India, the guy I talked to couldn't quite remember.

Rory, The second planet is the habitable one, and the other end of the space-time rift is placed there. About 80% of the surface is covered by water, and tiny islands form most of the land mass. It has a habitable and actually quite pleasant atmosphere, but no vegetation or fauna yet. It has two moons

The third planet, Goosnarch, is a tiny planet of little note. it was originally supposed to be a third moon of Rory, but it kept unstabilizing the other two so it was placed here.

Oh, and as Rory has nothing living on it yet, you'll have to do some collecting. That's why you also get some plane tickets.
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Old 12-22-2005, 04:21 PM   #10
Ironworks Atomic Moderator

Join Date: January 7, 2001
Location: Virginia, U.S.A.
Age: 52
Posts: 9,002

Your first gift is a Time Machine. Yes go back to the past or visit the future! Your time machine looks like a giant grandfather clock. Just step inside it and dial the year inside and off you go! Note the time machine is limited to three uses, and each use only lasts for 24 hours, so make your selections with thought. Enjoy! Tell me how your trip was when you get back LOL!

Your second gift is a year's use of Cars for Stars' Limousine service. Yes travel in luxery about town for an entire year. Shock your co-workers and friends, make your enemies jealous! You also get a selection of 50 drivers of your choice - they have male models, male body builders, midgets, guys with tattoos, guys with a lot of hair, guys with no hair at all, oh the plethora! Pick one each day if that is your wish!

Next gift is a 1 month vacation trip to the Galopogos Islands! By Private Jet! Hurry while the wildlife is still there! See exotic fish! See exotic turtles! See... errr, exotic fish!


Dunno what that white haired creature on the bottom line is, seems exotic (weird) though!

Oh and finally, my gag gift for you is.....20 Bacon Scented Air Fresheners. Yes smell bacon all day and all night all the time in your home, or in your car! Watch how popular you are to the local pets! Or local neighbors too! Its fun for all!

Reality Show Recaps
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