Life Changes... (caution: may be more than you want to know) - Page 3

bilqis · 11-05-2001, 11:28 AM

YAY!!! I just received word... I am officially DIVORCED!!! WooooHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

*breaks into a happy happy joy joy dance*

Thank you to everyone who continues to show me support. It means so very much to me! My "virtual" friends are turning out to be more supportive than my "real life" friends are. THANK YOU and *BIG HUGS* to you all.
[img]smile.gif[/img]

(You were right bro.. sorry) [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[ 11-05-2001: Message edited by: bilqis ]

*\Conan/* · 11-05-2001, 12:43 PM

quote:
Originally posted by bilqis:
Thank you to everyone who continues to show me support. It means so very much to me! My "virtual" friends are turning out to be better ones than my "real life" friends are. THANK YOU and *BIG HUGS* to you all.
[img]smile.gif[/img]

Funny thing about IW bilqis, people really do care here. We havent really conversed but I want you to know that I wish you all the happiness in the world! Heres to new horizons.... cheers!

[ 11-05-2001: Message edited by: *\Conan/* ]

MILAMBER · 11-05-2001, 12:53 PM

What a great attitude!! I hope things work out for the best with you and you enjoy your fresh start. You are handling this incredibly well, so keep it up! [img]smile.gif[/img]

11-05-2001, 01:23 PM

As human being we learn to fear change, it is some kind of ingrained instictive response, but we force ourselves to realize that change is not nesecarily a bad thing [img]smile.gif[/img] Congrats Bilqis Err where did you get that Nic?

Just as a comment...I have always thought it did bode ill when hubbies and wives started taking seperate vacations.

Anyway again Congrats on the renewel of your life.

NachtBringer · 11-05-2001, 01:44 PM

quote:
Originally posted by bilqis:
Hello all. I am in the midst of huge life changes that I thought I'd share with you all. If you're not interested, you may leave now.

July 17th, at 7:30 a.m. my husband of 21 years called me while he was away on vacation to tell me he wanted to divorce me. I admit that our marriage wasn't perfect, but this shocked me to my very core. I shook most of that day, but immediately called a good lawyer and began the process. The pain & grief were incredible. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, ever.

Because we have minor children, if either of us had moved out of the house before the offical request for marital dissolution was in place, we would have lost all our rights to custody etc. So, we have continued to live together. Not the most comfortable of situations, but we've managed to be civil and even friendly during these months.

I found a house to buy, signed a purchase agreement, intending to move in November 15th. However, it has taken this long for the divorce to be finalized --- still waiting for the judge's signature on the final papers --- so the house purchase was being delayed. Also need ex-dh to finish re-financing this house, and get the process going for giving me 1/2 of his pension so I can get on with my life. All of this is taking FOREVER and making me quite frustrated. I want to move ON!

And I AM moving on. [img]smile.gif[/img] I finally realized that I don't have to continue to live here in the middle-of-nowhere-Minnesota! I was only living here because of my husband's job & security. Those are no longer factors in my life. SO, I have quit my job, and battled all my local friends about my decision to move to Seattle Washington on November 10th. They are all convinced that I've lost my mind --- which I assure everyone I have not (not that I ever 'had' it to lose ). I have rented a house, and am certain I will find a job in short order. I am very excited! Very happy!

One other big change in my life began the end of July, when my dear big brother, The.Relic, dragged me into an online space simulation gaming community, called "Mankind", telling me I needed something to distract me from my misery. He was correct -- that game was wonderfully engaging. Through him I met many nice people (all men -- apparently not many women are into space simulations). One man in particular, nickname "Krip, the artisan", was very open about his interest in me. Something I couldn't believe or trust for a long time. After all, I'm old, I look like someone's mom not like someone's 'date', and men have never been interested in me as anything more than friend or sister. Also, all of my friends were continually advising me to avoid romantic entanglements til I am 'healed', watch out for 'rebound', etc. Krip was very persistent tho, and finally, after weeks & months of me fighting my feelings, he won me over. We met face to face the end of October, which proved to be even better than online. So, he is why I chose Seattle over some other city to make my leap into a new life to.

I need to thank everyone who has been so supportive of me during this tumultuous time in my life --- The.Relic, Reeka, Ramon, LadyZ, Moiraine, Wolfgir, Sir_Tainly, Jerome, AzureWolf, Cloudy, Yorick... gosh I apologize if I forgot to mention someone! I love you all!! I would not have made it through everything without your support. I will continue to lurk, and will post when I can. Once I move I won't have internet for some weeks. I am not leaving permanently tho. The great thing about the internet is that I can bring all of my online friends with me, no matter where I go!!

Who would have believed my life could change so much in just 6 months?? Certainly not me. Just goes to show, you never know what's just around the corner....

(More than anyone wanted to know, I'm sure, but they say confession is good for the soul) [img]redface.gif[/img]

Bili- I wish you all the best! I was worried, true, but I always saw that inner strength you carry around and you sure know how to pull yourself up and move on!!! God Bless you as you make this jump to a new life. [img]smile.gif[/img] You know, 4 mos ago my life was pretty mundane in my little corner of upstate NY and here I am in Idaho...thanks to you for your advice and encouragement as well. May we both find lasting happiness.

Cloudy

Gaelic · 11-05-2001, 08:58 PM

I salute you.

I am halfway through my legal proceedings (Damn Virginia's mandatory waiting period) so I know its no fun. Good luck to you.

bilqis · 11-06-2001, 07:45 AM

quote:
Originally posted by MagiK:
Congrats Bilqis Err where did you get that Nic?

Just as a comment...I have always thought it did bode ill when hubbies and wives started taking seperate vacations.

I was in Peace Corps Yemen, which was the land of the Queen of Sheba -- you know of Solomon & Sheba from the Old Testament in the Bible? Yemen was her kingdom. Anyway, her real name was 'Bilqis'. It was unique enough when I came online in '96 and anonymous enough that I chose it as my nick then. Now it feels like my real name! [img]smile.gif[/img]

As to separate vacations... I don't believe spouses/significant-others should be joined at the hip. It's important to keep some level of independence. Plus why should he have had to stay home because I had to work? If having separate vacations was a sign of the decay of our marriage, then we should have divorced decades ago! LOL

That is just my opinion of course. [img]smile.gif[/img]

11-05-2001, 11:28 AM	#21
bilqis Symbol of Cyric Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: WA, USA Age: 67 Posts: 1,328	YAY!!! I just received word... I am officially DIVORCED!!! WooooHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! breaks into a happy happy joy joy dance Thank you to everyone who continues to show me support. It means so very much to me! My "virtual" friends are turning out to be more supportive than my "real life" friends are. THANK YOU and BIG HUGS to you all. [img]smile.gif[/img] (You were right bro.. sorry) [img]tongue.gif[/img] [ 11-05-2001: Message edited by: bilqis ] __________________ [img]\"http://www.paulbunyan.net/mnssc/bilqisd.gif\" alt=\" - \" /> <br /><br /><i>Sometimes I think I <br />understand everything,<br />then I regain consciousness.</i>

11-05-2001, 12:43 PM	#22
\Conan/ Red Dragon Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Virginia, USA Age: 62 Posts: 1,512	quote: Originally posted by bilqis: Thank you to everyone who continues to show me support. It means so very much to me! My "virtual" friends are turning out to be better ones than my "real life" friends are. THANK YOU and BIG HUGS to you all. [img]smile.gif[/img] Funny thing about IW bilqis, people really do care here. We havent really conversed but I want you to know that I wish you all the happiness in the world! Heres to new horizons.... cheers! [ 11-05-2001: Message edited by: \Conan/ ] __________________ \\Conan/
$\Conan/ is offline$

11-05-2001, 12:53 PM	#23
MILAMBER Lord Soth Join Date: March 5, 2001 Location: Southern California Posts: 1,948	What a great attitude!! I hope things work out for the best with you and you enjoy your fresh start. You are handling this incredibly well, so keep it up! [img]smile.gif[/img] __________________ \"The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.\"<br />-General George Patton (1885-1945)<br /> <br />Member of CLAN HADB<br />Founder of The Anti Clan Coalition

11-05-2001, 01:44 PM	#25
NachtBringer Elite Waterdeep Guard Join Date: November 3, 2001 Location: In a hotel somewhere in Spud Country Posts: 12	quote: Originally posted by bilqis: Hello all. I am in the midst of huge life changes that I thought I'd share with you all. If you're not interested, you may leave now. July 17th, at 7:30 a.m. my husband of 21 years called me while he was away on vacation to tell me he wanted to divorce me. I admit that our marriage wasn't perfect, but this shocked me to my very core. I shook most of that day, but immediately called a good lawyer and began the process. The pain & grief were incredible. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, ever. Because we have minor children, if either of us had moved out of the house before the offical request for marital dissolution was in place, we would have lost all our rights to custody etc. So, we have continued to live together. Not the most comfortable of situations, but we've managed to be civil and even friendly during these months. I found a house to buy, signed a purchase agreement, intending to move in November 15th. However, it has taken this long for the divorce to be finalized --- still waiting for the judge's signature on the final papers --- so the house purchase was being delayed. Also need ex-dh to finish re-financing this house, and get the process going for giving me 1/2 of his pension so I can get on with my life. All of this is taking FOREVER and making me quite frustrated. I want to move ON! And I AM moving on. [img]smile.gif[/img] I finally realized that I don't have to continue to live here in the middle-of-nowhere-Minnesota! I was only living here because of my husband's job & security. Those are no longer factors in my life. SO, I have quit my job, and battled all my local friends about my decision to move to Seattle Washington on November 10th. They are all convinced that I've lost my mind --- which I assure everyone I have not (not that I ever 'had' it to lose ). I have rented a house, and am certain I will find a job in short order. I am very excited! Very happy! One other big change in my life began the end of July, when my dear big brother, The.Relic, dragged me into an online space simulation gaming community, called "Mankind", telling me I needed something to distract me from my misery. He was correct -- that game was wonderfully engaging. Through him I met many nice people (all men -- apparently not many women are into space simulations). One man in particular, nickname "Krip, the artisan", was very open about his interest in me. Something I couldn't believe or trust for a long time. After all, I'm old, I look like someone's mom not like someone's 'date', and men have never been interested in me as anything more than friend or sister. Also, all of my friends were continually advising me to avoid romantic entanglements til I am 'healed', watch out for 'rebound', etc. Krip was very persistent tho, and finally, after weeks & months of me fighting my feelings, he won me over. We met face to face the end of October, which proved to be even better than online. So, he is why I chose Seattle over some other city to make my leap into a new life to. I need to thank everyone who has been so supportive of me during this tumultuous time in my life --- The.Relic, Reeka, Ramon, LadyZ, Moiraine, Wolfgir, Sir_Tainly, Jerome, AzureWolf, Cloudy, Yorick... gosh I apologize if I forgot to mention someone! I love you all!! I would not have made it through everything without your support. I will continue to lurk, and will post when I can. Once I move I won't have internet for some weeks. I am not leaving permanently tho. The great thing about the internet is that I can bring all of my online friends with me, no matter where I go!! Who would have believed my life could change so much in just 6 months?? Certainly not me. Just goes to show, you never know what's just around the corner.... (More than anyone wanted to know, I'm sure, but they say confession is good for the soul) [img]redface.gif[/img] Bili- I wish you all the best! I was worried, true, but I always saw that inner strength you carry around and you sure know how to pull yourself up and move on!!! God Bless you as you make this jump to a new life. [img]smile.gif[/img] You know, 4 mos ago my life was pretty mundane in my little corner of upstate NY and here I am in Idaho...thanks to you for your advice and encouragement as well. May we both find lasting happiness. Cloudy

11-05-2001, 08:58 PM	#26
Gaelic Elminster Join Date: April 28, 2001 Location: Virginia Beach, Virginia, USA Posts: 490	I salute you. I am halfway through my legal proceedings (Damn Virginia's mandatory waiting period) so I know its no fun. Good luck to you. __________________ Gaelic

11-05-2001, 01:23 PM	#24
MagiK Guest Posts: n/a	As human being we learn to fear change, it is some kind of ingrained instictive response, but we force ourselves to realize that change is not nesecarily a bad thing [img]smile.gif[/img] Congrats Bilqis Err where did you get that Nic? Just as a comment...I have always thought it did bode ill when hubbies and wives started taking seperate vacations. Anyway again Congrats on the renewel of your life.

11-06-2001, 07:45 AM	#27
bilqis Symbol of Cyric Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: WA, USA Age: 67 Posts: 1,328	quote: Originally posted by MagiK: Congrats Bilqis Err where did you get that Nic? Just as a comment...I have always thought it did bode ill when hubbies and wives started taking seperate vacations. I was in Peace Corps Yemen, which was the land of the Queen of Sheba -- you know of Solomon & Sheba from the Old Testament in the Bible? Yemen was her kingdom. Anyway, her real name was 'Bilqis'. It was unique enough when I came online in '96 and anonymous enough that I chose it as my nick then. Now it feels like my real name! [img]smile.gif[/img] As to separate vacations... I don't believe spouses/significant-others should be joined at the hip. It's important to keep some level of independence. Plus why should he have had to stay home because I had to work? If having separate vacations was a sign of the decay of our marriage, then we should have divorced decades ago! LOL That is just my opinion of course. [img]smile.gif[/img] __________________ [img]\"http://www.paulbunyan.net/mnssc/bilqisd.gif\" alt=\" - \" /> <br /><br /><i>Sometimes I think I <br />understand everything,<br />then I regain consciousness.</i>

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