Hey Guys! Check out this epiphany!

[Sir Kenyth]

quote:

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Originally posted by Morgeruat:


ok, but what hope does that offer me, a nice guy in his early 20's(and the even younger readers)trying to date people my own age, if it takes so long for women to figure out what they want...

... sorry if i seem slightly annoyed but i got dumped yesterday for a jerk

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Suggestion. It's probably too far gone by now if you've already been dumped. The minute the signs of her starting to stray come along, make sure she knows you know. Don't be afraid to get confrontational with the other guy. You don't have to fight him, but don't back down from him either. Make sure your displeasure is well voiced. Establish dominance over the other guy if possible. Now withhold the attention you've been giving her and make it seem like you're talking to other girls. Leave phone numbers in plain sight, even if they're just your dentist's receptionist. Be out more than usual or just pretend to be by not answering the phone. Get her attention off the other guy by creating a lot of distraction to bring her attention back to you. Do this for a week and then try to get in touch with her. Give her attention again. As soon as she gets comfy in your attentions, withhold again for a shorter period. Attention, like a drug, produces withdrawal symptoms when with-held. It's kind of sneaky and doesn't work at all if the girl has completely lost interest, but it takes care of the occasional honey-tongued interloper. I got this hint from an accomplished past womanizer. It works!

[Morgeruat]

quote:

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Originally posted by Silver Cheetah:

So what you're looking for is a. a woman who hasn't been screwed up by bad parenting, b. who is aware enough (of herself and the world around her) not to fall for the old macho male crap.

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EXACTLY!!! but unfortuantely apparently that kind of maturity takes longer to develope and makes it unlikely that i'll find it with women my age, at least for the next few years...

As for what I look for in women, I guess I look at intelligence before looks, a great thing about the internet you can get to know people before you meet them and weed out the idots, and i am looking to settle down, not casual dating, unfortunately that goes back to my age, most women in their early 20's (i'm 21 BTW) aren't yet ready to settle down.

[Silver Cheetah]

quote:

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Originally posted by Sir Kenyth:
Remember guys, the point of the article isn't why women stay with guys who make them unhappy. It is about what characteristics attract women to a certain person over another to begin with. Most young women I've talked to agree that they simply FEEL more attracted to one person over another. They can't put their finger on exactly what. They simply FEEL more attracted to one over another. Looks are a big part of it, but the other part is an instinctive "Dominant Alpha Male" attraction. One guy seems boring and the other exciting. I've been slowly changing my personality over the past few years from being passive to being more agressive and assertive. It seems that if other women want you, even if you're only playing with them, other women find you more attractive for some reason. Be loud, be proud, and don't let anything get in your way. Do this and all of a sudden you have a boost in your attractiveness. Strange, huh? Because the minute you get into a serious relationship you're expected to be sweet and sensitive too! This is what she has LEARNED is supposed to be a good mate. I think instinct plays a great deal in initial attraction and is a viable theory. I think instinct is a strong part of human nature and can explain a lot. Not just dating.

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Okay. These are my friends and the types of men they are seeing. Just to prove the point that lots of women DONT go for them alpha male dominant types. When we can earn our own bread and look after ourselves, what earthly use are they, except to be telling us what to do, how to do it and generally taking up space and making a nuisance of themselves. Also, alpha's are crap at going down.

Anyway, here they are...

Julie - with sweet guy 10 years younger than she is. (Julie is a PhD and lectures in university.)

Tanya (my sis.) with very very sweet guy about eight years younger than she is. If he's ever raised his voice to anyone, I'll eat my furry rump. (Teacher.)

Jane - my bestest friend who married a very sweet guy. Left him after he sank into depression, went out with a lot more sweet and not so sweet men, and one jerk. She dumped the jerk and has decided to spend time on her own for a while. She is enjoying said time very much! (Management - Finance company).

Eva - lives with a complete jerk. (Sees himself as dominant male) Has done for 14 years. Keeps swearing she's going to leave him. Is busy getting her career going so she can afford to. (They have a son, who she needs to be able to pay for.) (Careers Advisor.)

Viv - seeing a very sweet guy same age as her. Again, he doesn't have an agressive bone in his body. Doesn't matter. He's very attractive, both in personality and DEFINITELY in looks!

Siggy - lives with a sweet guy who has alcohol problems. He's self destructive, but his only target for aggression is himself.

And so on.....

Out of six - that's 5 sweet guys and one mega jerk! So there, Sir Ken! (Cheetah thumbs nose at Sir Ken, and flashes her furry rump before prancing off cockily, singing 'I won, I won.... tee hee hee hee

[img]smile.gif[/img] [img]smile.gif[/img] [img]smile.gif[/img] [img]smile.gif[/img] [img]smile.gif[/img] [img]smile.gif[/img] [img]smile.gif[/img]

[Silver Cheetah]

quote:

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Originally posted by Morgeruat:


EXACTLY!!! but unfortuantely apparently that kind of maturity takes longer to develope and makes it unlikely that i'll find it with women my age, at least for the next few years...

As for what I look for in women, I guess I look at intelligence before looks, a great thing about the internet you can get to know people before you meet them and weed out the idots, and i am looking to settle down, not casual dating, unfortunately that goes back to my age, most women in their early 20's (i'm 21 BTW) aren't yet ready to settle down.

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Hmm... 21 is a bit early to settle down for anyone, really Morgaruat. Problem is, we all change so much in our twenties. So the person you hook up with now - well, she may well not *be* that person in 10 years time, and you might be very different too. If you can get together with someone realising that, and getting away from the idea that it has to be a long term thing, then you'll probably be a lot happier.

Actually, what I suppose part of what I'm saying is, - if settling down includes having children, leave the children bit for a long long time. But settling down can mean a lot of things - it may not mean the same to you as it does to me.

(Actually, it doesn't mean very much to me - as it's not my idea of happiness at all! I don't rule it out completely... but...... ) I did get married at 19, but I was bored by the time I was 20, and ran away to be a waitress in Italy... That was the beginning of a long long relationship - with Italy, and the Italian language.

[Sir Kenyth]

quote:

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Originally posted by Silver Cheetah:


Also, alpha's are crap at going down.

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*LOL* I must not be a true alpha then. *wink*

Part of the problem here is that everyone has a different opinion about what a "Jerk" or an "Alpha-male" is. The article equates the two, but that's not true. "Alpha-males" are not necessarily a$$holes. It's just that most jerks tend to display alpha-male characteristics along with their other garbage. Alphas are just more dominating and charismatic by nature. Alphas are more self serving than others emotionally. This doesn't mean that they won't care about others. They just won't do so at their own expense unless they love the other deeply. As people get out of their twenties, they get smarter. The "Nice" factor gains more importance than the excitement factor. The fact still remains that the excitement factor still leads the way in character attractiveness in men.

[Silver Cheetah]

quote:

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Originally posted by Sir Kenyth:


*LOL* I must not be a true alpha then. *wink*

Part of the problem here is that everyone has a different opinion about what a "Jerk" or an "Alpha-male" is. The article equates the two, but that's not true. "Alpha-males" are not necessarily a$$holes. It's just that most jerks tend to display alpha-male characteristics along with their other garbage. Alphas are just more dominating and charismatic by nature. Alphas are more self serving than others emotionally. This doesn't mean that they won't care about others. They just won't do so at their own expense unless they love the other deeply. As people get out of their twenties, they get smarter. The "Nice" factor gains more importance than the excitement factor. The fact still remains that the excitement factor still leads the way in character attractiveness in men.

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Shit, thought that one'd slip past without comment - not a chance! Well, Sir K, my interest in you has just gone up bout 200%, yes siree...

[img]smile.gif[/img]

Some good points here, but I just can't be doing with dominating in any way shape or form (unless it's pointy heeled, pointy toed, and any colour at all, as long as it's black....)

Don't find it a bit sexy...... definitely don't want it in a life partner. My father was domineering rather than dominating (although the one kind of guaranteed the other...)

So, how would *you* define an alpha male then, oh cunning tongued one??

[Sir Kenyth]

quote:

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Originally posted by Silver Cheetah:


Shit, thought that one'd slip past without comment - not a chance! Well, Sir K, my interest in you has just gone up bout 200%, yes siree...

[img]smile.gif[/img]

Some good points here, but I just can't be doing with dominating in any way shape or form (unless it's pointy heeled, pointy toed, and any colour at all, as long as it's black....)

Don't find it a bit sexy...... definitely don't want it in a life partner. My father was domineering rather than dominating (although the one kind of guaranteed the other...)

So, how would *you* define an alpha male then, oh cunning tongued one??

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Weeelllll, let me think.

*Licks eyebrow thoughtfully* [img]tongue.gif[/img]

There's a fine line between dominating and domineering. An alpha nearly always leads whatever they're involved in. An alpha quickly meets challenges people throw at them and come out on top. An alpha has an instinctive desire to win at whatever they do. Their tenacity in competing can be irritating to others less competetive. They don't like being out done. They like being the center of attention. Alphas nearly always dominate a conversation with their opinion. They admit being wrong and show weakness rarely.

The Alpha personality is not an absolute. It is rather part of a spectrum with many levels. One thing I know is that, initially, the strongest alpha personality dominates a group of men. Alphas take control and like to keep it.

That's why jerks have such a high concentration of alphas. It's much easier to take control and dominate when you disregard the feelings of others. An alpha does not necessarily need to be a jerk.

[Silver Cheetah]

quote:

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Originally posted by Sir Kenyth:


Weeelllll, let me think.

*Licks eyebrow thoughtfully* [img]tongue.gif[/img]

There's a fine line between dominating and domineering. An alpha nearly always leads whatever they're involved in. An alpha quickly meets challenges people throw at them and come out on top. An alpha has an instinctive desire to win at whatever they do. Their tenacity in competing can be irritating to others less competetive. They don't like being out done. They like being the center of attention. Alphas nearly always dominate a conversation with their opinion. They admit being wrong and show weakness rarely.

The Alpha personality is not an absolute. It is rather part of a spectrum with many levels. One thing I know is that, initially, the strongest alpha personality dominates a group of men. Alphas take control and like to keep it.

That's why jerks have such a high concentration of alphas. It's much easier to take control and dominate when you disregard the feelings of others. An alpha does not necessarily need to be a jerk.

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Aha. Now I have it. I am a sensitive, caring and very very sexy Alpha female. Hence my disdain for Alpha males who might just possibly get in my way, try to compete, or otherwise make nuisances of themselves....

heheheheheheheh

[Sir Kenyth]

quote:

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Originally posted by Silver Cheetah:


Aha. Now I have it. I am a sensitive, caring and very very sexy Alpha female. Hence my disdain for Alpha males who might just possibly get in my way, try to compete, or otherwise make nuisances of themselves....

heheheheheheheh

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You Cheetah? You're dominant? I'd have never guessed with all this talk of pointy things and black leather. Mmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All that and sexy too?

Care for a tongue twister? [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Fight you for the cuffs!

[Silver Cheetah]

quote:

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Originally posted by Sir Kenyth:



You Cheetah? You're dominant? I'd have never guessed with all this talk of pointy things and black leather. Mmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All that and sexy too?

Care for a tongue twister? [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Fight you for the cuffs!

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Ah, it's the lovely Tracey who is the real expert upon barbed and pointy matters .......

We'll have to get together and give you a stern talking to on the error of your ways.... heheheh

She does a particularly good line in tying her interlocutor to a chair, and calling him a twit....... :big smile:

[ 11-08-2001: Message edited by: Silver Cheetah ]