01-08-2003, 08:11 AM | #1 |
Jack Burton
Join Date: August 24, 2002
Location: Aussie now in the US of A!
Age: 37
Posts: 5,403
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Another joke(s) by:HiveTyrant
Tickle me elmo A new employee is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory. The personnel manager explains her duties, and tells her to report to work promptly at 8:00 AM. The next day at 8:45AM, there's a knock at the personnel manager's door. The assembly line foreman comes in and starts ranting about this new employee. He says she's incredibly slow, and the whole line is backing up. The foreman takes the personnel manager down to the factory floor to show him the problem. Sure enough, Elmos are backed up all over the place. At the end of the line is the new employee. She has a roll of the material used for the Elmos and a big bag of marbles. They both watch as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles, and starts sewing the little package between Elmo's legs. The personnel manager starts laughing hysterically. After several minutes, he pulls himself together, walks over to the woman, and says, "I'm sorry, I guess you misunderstood me yesterday. Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles." ------------------------------------------------------------------ Prove it... This guy goes to a grocery store and asks the clerk behind the counter for two cans of dog food. "Do you have a dog?" asked the clerk. "Yes I do!" replied the puzzled customer. "I'm sorry sir" said the clerk "but you're going to have prove to me that you have a dog before I can sell you dog food." Back home went the frustrated customer to get his dog and pulled it on its leash all the way back to the store. "Here's my dog!" wheezed the tired customer. "Thank you sir, here is your two cans of dog food." Two days later the guy returns to the same store and goes up to the same clerk and says: "Two cans of cat food please." "Do you have a cat sir?" "Of course I do!" said the exasperated customer. "I'm sorry sir, but I have to see your cat before I can sell you cat food." The guy storms out of the store, goes home, grabs his cat, drags it back to the store and holds up the cat by it's tail for the clerk to see. "Thank you sir, here is your two cans of cat food." The very next day. The guy returns to the store, approaches the clerk and places on the counter a white shoebox with a small hole on the cover. "Yes sir", asked the clerk, "what can I do for you?" "Put your finger in the hole" ordered the customer. "I beg your pardon?" said the clerk. "Do as I say!" ordered the guy. Cautiously the clerk slid his finger all the way in the hole. "Pull it out and tell me what it looks like!" said the guy. Said the disgusted clerk, ""It looks like ..." To which the customer replied "THAT'S RIGHT!!, Now give me two rolls of toilet paper!" [ 01-08-2003, 08:16 AM: Message edited by: Hivetyrant ] |
01-08-2003, 08:16 AM | #2 |
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Join Date: September 17, 2002
Location: UK
Age: 38
Posts: 546
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LMAO good stuff!
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01-08-2003, 11:23 AM | #3 |
Elminster
Join Date: November 2, 2002
Location: ♣♣♣
Age: 38
Posts: 457
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That got me laughing.. [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]
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01-08-2003, 01:07 PM | #4 |
Manshoon
Join Date: September 13, 2002
Location: Sunny side of the Alps, a.k.a. Slovenia
Age: 47
Posts: 194
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Oh, yeah! The second one made my day at work a lot brighter.
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01-08-2003, 05:20 PM | #5 |
Dungeon Master
Join Date: August 19, 2002
Location: scotland
Age: 59
Posts: 82
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Brilliant, What more can I say.
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01-08-2003, 09:17 PM | #6 |
Baaz Draconian
Join Date: September 8, 2002
Location: Cornelius,NC
Age: 36
Posts: 700
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LOL one of the funniest things I've heard in a long time.
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