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Old 09-19-2001, 09:49 PM   #1
Vaskez
Takhisis Follower
 

Join Date: April 30, 2001
Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now)
Posts: 5,089
In my quest to cheer ppl up I feel I have to deliver some mother-in-law jokes.


3 men are back home after their holidays and are discussing which of their mother-in-laws talks the most.
- My mother-in-law - says the first - has so much to say that we didn't even bother getting a TV. I mean why? We wouldn't be able to hear it anyway.....
- That's nothing, - says the 2nd man - my mother-in-law talks so much that a while back I was on sick leave due to serious damage to my hearing.
The 3rd man remains quiet.
- And yours? - ask the other two.
- We've just come back from Tunisia.
- And??
- What do you mean "and??"? Just take a look at my mother-in-law. Her freakin' tongue's got a tan.


At law school, a student is being tested:
- What's the punishment for bigomy?
- Two mother-in-laws.


Mr Smith's mother-in-law is kicked by his horse. She dies of her injury. Many many people attend the funeral, even from the neighbouring villages.
- So many people! - exclaims Smith's friend. - Was your mother-in-law this popular?
- Don't be silly, they all came to buy the horse.

At court:
- So sir, do you admit to this act of grevious bodily harm commited against your mother-in-law?
- Yes.
- So we don't need to call her as a witness?
Assistant: - Maybe it would be a good idea to take a look at her anyway, mr lawyer sir. We could discover mitigating circumstances....


The mother-in-law is dying. She's moaning a lot as she lies in bed and suddenly her gaze is fixed on the ceiling and she says to those waiting at her bedside:
- Look, there's a spider on the ceiling!
Her son-in-law replies:
- Mother please! Concentrate on one thing at a time!


Mr. Jones' mother-in-law dies. The funeral organisers ask him:
- What sort of funeral would you like? Burial or cremation?
- Better make it both, I wanna be sure.


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Old 09-19-2001, 10:15 PM   #2
250
Horus - Egyptian Sky God
 

Join Date: March 4, 2001
Location: either CA or MO
Age: 42
Posts: 2,674
LOL LOL...
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Old 09-19-2001, 10:17 PM   #3
Mitro Jellywadder
Quintesson
 

Join Date: September 5, 2001
Location: Florida
Age: 52
Posts: 1,016
hehehe..Concentrate..
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Old 09-19-2001, 10:18 PM   #4
Vaskez
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Join Date: April 30, 2001
Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now)
Posts: 5,089
The mother-in-law rings the doorbell. Her son-in-law answers.
- Hello mother! So you have arrived!
- Yes, son.
- And how long are you staying mother?
- As long as I am welcome.
- What? You won't even come in for a coffee?

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Old 09-19-2001, 10:19 PM   #5
Larry_OHF
Ironworks Moderator
 

Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Midlands, South Carolina
Age: 48
Posts: 14,759
My mother-in-law actually rules!
Beside the fact that theses jokes are quite good, I must admit, I am one of the lucky few that has a mother-in-law that only likes to be a favorite grand-parent, and that is all. (She has 14 grandchildren with mine...)


------------------

Father of the wicked but cute child known as MaryBeth

Padre de una nińa bien traviosa pero guapa
---------------------
Aisukuríimu ga tabetái desu.
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Old 09-19-2001, 10:28 PM   #6
Vaskez
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Join Date: April 30, 2001
Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now)
Posts: 5,089
Phonecall:
- Mr Vet, sir! My mother-in-law will soon arrive with the dog, Mary. Can you have her put down please?
- Of course sir, but will the dog find its way home?
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Old 09-21-2001, 07:09 AM   #7
Mirac Honorguard
Red Wizard of Thay
 

Join Date: August 21, 2001
Location: Limburg, Netherlands, Europe
Age: 42
Posts: 894
LOL

------------------
There's something in your eyes, ah no, I see now, it's the reflection of my deadly gaze - Mirac Honorguard
(Necromancer)
http://www.angelfire.com/rpg2/mirac
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Old 09-21-2001, 07:17 AM   #8
Bruce The Aussie
Fzoul Chembryl
 

Join Date: March 2, 2001
Location: Chaotica (london,england)
Age: 37
Posts: 1,798
Great!

------------------
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Old 09-21-2001, 09:47 AM   #9
Vaskez
Takhisis Follower
 

Join Date: April 30, 2001
Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now)
Posts: 5,089
Quote:
Originally posted by skywalker:
Jan Murray (comedian circa 1970s) is asked this question on Hollywood Squares.

Peter Marshall: What is the the strongest punishment for bigamy in America?

Jan Murray: Two mothers-in-law!

Mark

Nice one but I already had this one in my first post :]
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Old 09-21-2001, 09:50 AM   #10
Vaskez
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Join Date: April 30, 2001
Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now)
Posts: 5,089
- Hey what's up mate? Why are you looking so sad?
- It's no good, I can't even make a gravestone for my mother-in-law.
- But I thought she was still alive?
- That's just it....

The Smiths are visiting the zoo with the mother-in-law. They are just looking at the hippos when Smith exclaims:
- Look Mother, what a huge mouth and yet it doesn't say a word!
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