Please Help Me - Exams Next Week!

[Wah]

Okay, I'm doing revision right now (well, not right NOW - otherwise I would've posted this here)

It's a psychology question that goes like this:
(Probably one for the social helpers out there.....)

Okay,
"Bowlby's theory of attachement stated that children who are incapitated for institutionalised (deprived of a mother and/or separated for a long time) become changed in form of manner as well as lifestyle. They develop a manner of behaviour similar to their own personal living - including a lesser tendency to form social attachments and social participation."

"In addition, they are less capable and likely of returning love to their own families later on in life: especially mothers, since they haven't been taught the ways of handling and returning love. Consulting experiments have shown that they tend to neglect their own children - leaving them to fend for themselves at a very early stage in life."

"The introduction of Daycare Centres enabled mothers to allow their children to form social developements, as well as confidence in making further social participation later on in life."

"However, this method's liability includes the deprivation of the child's parents as well as leaving them a great chance of being unsocial with their families later on in life."

Practice Questions:

A) Evaluate the qualities and limitations of "home-parenting" alongside "Daycare". By letting children go to Daycare Centres, is it depriving him/her of maternal/paternal relationships? Or is it beneficial? Should children be allowed to go to Daycare centres?

It says that Daycare is a good thing since it allows social development and interaction in the child. But THEN contradicts this by saying that this "deprives" the child of parental relationships?

This is scrambling my head.

And there are another 3 more questions to go.

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Greetings Mortals. My Name Is Wah, Arch Lich Wah.

Good googly moogly!

All of the above really struck a chord with me!

Although my mother was in our house during my childhood, she neglected and/or abused me and I "developed a manner of behaviour similar to my own personal living - including a lesser tendency to form social attachments and social participation."

"they are less capable and likely of returning love to their own families later on in life:" This applies to my mother, sisters and brothers who don't even know where I live beyond a P.O. Box in a Texas town. I only had one child but worked hard to be a good parent to him and we are very good friends although he wants nothing to do with the rest of my family~a decision he made himself after meeting them. Perhaps with such a dysfunctional family, we are an exceptional case but:

Although I did not neglect my own child, I did allow and encourage him to learn how to fend for himself early in life. (I thought it was good for him to be as independent as he could be).

I was sent to Daycare when I was a preschooler and I think it was beneficial in my abilities to develop and maintain social relationships during my childhood since I did not have that kind of guidance at home, although as an adult, I prefer to be a loner, or having just a few trusted friends around me, having developed a distrust of people through life experiences.

I sent my son to Daycare when I could not be there after he got off of school for a period of time...only an hour a day for a few months but I think it was a bad idea as in today's society. Daycare Centers are run by people out to make a buck and not people who really care about children. My son would come home filthy, having to fight with other kids since the daycare providers did not actually watch or participate in activities with the children and he never got more sick more often when exposed to sick children every day. Look at all the documented cases of sexual abuse that has gone on in places like this too...you know there are as many cases never brought to light.

I also worked for a week in a different daycare center, delivering lunches to every class in the building and I got to see firsthand, the neglect and abuse dished out to innocent children by the adults in charge. Not one or two rooms, mind you...ALL of them! Racial prejudice, verbal abuse, emotional abuse. After going to the District Manager and filing a complaint against the school, I quit the job, too sick at heart to witness it any longer.

In today's society I would NOT recommend Daycare as an alternative.
When I was a kid, it was a group of grandmotherly-like women who sat with us, read to us, encouraged us to play well with others and participated with us in group activities.

If there is no alternative to some kind of day care, I would recommend a relative or a trusted adult who is genuinely concerned with the child's welfare and not the money involved. Daycare centers, on the whole are not in the best interest of children unless you want them growing up with detrimental social complexes.

(IMHO)
Moni

I hope I did not make this any more confusing for you LOL but you can see that there were advantages for me, but not for my son in being sent to daycare.

Hugs and Good Luck!

P.S. and don't go off thinking that I never gave these places I spoke badly of a chance or that I am anti-social...on the contrary, I give everyone an equal opportunity to present and prove themselves to be good and caring people.



[This message has been edited by Moni (edited 05-19-2001).]

[Jerome]

Originally posted by Wah: Okay, I'm doing revision right now (well, not right NOW - otherwise I would've posted this here) It's a psychology question that goes like this: (Probably one for the social helpers out there.....) Okay, "Bowlby's theory of attachement stated that children who are incapitated for institutionalised (deprived of a mother and/or separated for a long time) become changed in form of manner as well as lifestyle. They develop a manner of behaviour similar to their own personal living - including a lesser tendency to form social attachments and social participation." "In addition, they are less capable and likely of returning love to their own families later on in life: especially mothers, since they haven't been taught the ways of handling and returning love. Consulting experiments have shown that they tend to neglect their own children - leaving them to fend for themselves at a very early stage in life." "The introduction of Daycare Centres enabled mothers to allow their children to form social developements, as well as confidence in making further social participation later on in life." "However, this method's liability includes the deprivation of the child's parents as well as leaving them a great chance of being unsocial with their families later on in life." Practice Questions: A) Evaluate the qualities and limitations of "home-parenting" alongside "Daycare". By letting children go to Daycare Centres, is it depriving him/her of maternal/paternal relationships? Or is it beneficial? Should children be allowed to go to Daycare centres? It says that Daycare is a good thing since it allows social development and interaction in the child. But THEN contradicts this by saying that this "deprives" the child of parental relationships? This is scrambling my head. And there are another 3 more questions to go.

Its easy, just do what i'd do....Drink....heavily....



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My hopes lie dashed,
Crushed from high above,
My dreams lie shattered, my heart broken,
A casulty on a battlefield called love.

[Wah]

Lol Jerome, I knew I could count that one on you!

Yep, perhaps I'll just drown off the thoughts with a good pint or two.

Something tells me that the examiners are avid BG2 gamers - and I might get a tip off for a BG2 mentioning or two. (Drizzt was in a daycare once wasn't he?)

Moni: Thanks for helping me out.
Reading your history added pages of notes to my already sitting-on stack. I think that you're right in a way. Daycares are evil, they take away what you will never have and it is a lame excuse for any parent to not get a nanny or relative to care for them.

Having a child is commitment. And commitment means being there for them, not leaving them stranded until they bump into a stone wall: that's what parents are supposed to protect them from.

It it really true? You said that the kids in a Daycare got you so wrecked that you lost your job? No way! That is an amazing discovery for me today!

Thanks for sharing, you are not anti-social: just wise and being the good mother that you are.

Perhaps, perhaps this isn't such a bad homework after all.
I think I'll settle for something softer instead?

Do they do alcoholic candy bars around here?

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Greetings Mortals. My Name Is Wah, Arch Lich Wah.

[Moiraine]

Please forgive a French ignorance, but - what is it exactly that you mean as 'Daycare' ? 'Cause I can quite relate what you describe to things we have in France, but not totally, and I am always eager to learn !

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The world is my oyster !
And now I have the knives to open it ...

[bilqis]

Very thought provoking Wah. This is seldom debated here in the states because of the reality that so many families have 2 working parents and no option other than daycare. It strikes at the parent's guilt.

I stayed at home with my children for 14 years. My youngest was 5 and entering school when I began working part time. We struggled financially for many years to enable me to stay at home with our sons. It was difficult, rewarding, boring. They have never been in day care, nor have they been neglected. My oldest is almost 19, and my youngest is now 11. Time will tell if it was a good choice for our family. They are all good kids tho.. kind to others, not involved in gangs or crime, and loving.

I do believe it's better for children to be raised by a LOVING adult, with as few other children around as is feasible. The larger the day care, the larger the chance for neglect or for the child's needs to be missed. If a child is left with someone who truly loves them, then I believe they will be fine. I have several friends who run day care from their homes. Some are very good, some are not. It matters.

For abused children, day care can be a lifesaver... they get out of the abusive situation for awhile, and they learn how 'normal' people behave with one another.

However, I read a study recently that stated children who have been in day care settings daily for most of their young lives, are more agressive, and are more attached to their peers than to adults. I wish I could recall where I saw that... Sorry Wah. Not much help eh?

It's a difficult issue. The need for day care is there. And yet, do we really know what it's doing to our children? Deep questions.

I'm interested in seeing the other questions you've been asked Wah!

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Sometimes I think I
understand everything,
then I regain consciousness.

Happy Member of Fast Fourward.

Essentially, a Daycare centre has many kids and the staff are employees, not natural mothers. They cannot love the children as a mother can, because their first priority is a job
.
Children that are isolated do not grow up learning how to communicate with others, or how others respond to certain stimuli (whether physical or verbal).
.
Additionally, they only have so much exposure to the out-of-doors so a crowd can seem quite overwhelming to them, as can other towns/places. Their response to this is to withdraw, thus giving people the impression they are shy

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In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is pimp

Moni: Thanks for helping me out. Glad I could be of some help!

Reading your history added pages of notes to my already sitting-on stack. I think that you're right in a way. Daycares are evil, they take away what you will never have and it is a lame excuse for any parent to not get a nanny or relative to care for them.
Agreed, unless it is absolutely unavoidable,which it was in my case when my son attended Daycare. No truly loving parent should support Daycare Centers but if they MUST, anytime abuse is discovered, from lack of supervision to outright abuse, action should be taken to relieve the guilty party or parties of their 'childcare" duties.

Having a child is commitment. And commitment means being there for them, not leaving them stranded until they bump into a stone wall: that's what parents are supposed to protect them from. Amen Brotha!

It it really true? You said that the kids in a Daycare got you so wrecked that you lost your job? No way! That is an amazing discovery for me today!

I quit. I could not tolerate seeing so many children abused by so many people repeatedly on a daily basis. (I was in each room three times a day, as I also delivered breakfasts and snacks). Before I quit though, I did file a formal complaint against the school and its "teachers".
I love all children as if they were my own and knowing what damage abuse in any form can do, I abhor it enough for it to make my heart break if I have to witness it, not to mention that it makes me sick to my stomach. I was an emotional wreck by the end of the first week of the job and just couldn't handle it anymore.

Thanks for sharing, you are not anti-social: just wise and being the good mother that you are. Thank you very much!

Good Luck with your studies!


Moni


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[Wah]

Originally posted by Moiraine: Please forgive a French ignorance, but - what is it exactly that you mean as 'Daycare' ? 'Cause I can quite relate what you describe to things we have in France, but not totally, and I am always eager to learn !

No probs, a daycare is a place where children are placed with other children to learn and have fun........at least that's what it is supposed to be.

Some people (and on my study sheet) say that children should be raised by the family, which have put aside the time for the kids, instead of dumping them in a daycare and going off to work - for money.

They recieve less attention from their parents and end up being unable to love others in affectionate ways, since they have never recieved this kind of treatment from their mother themselves.

Sometimes it is a good thing, as for abused childs, who can them have a more formal and socialable life (if they CAN come to terms with it = it is not easy to coax an abused and afraid child). And also it is good because it develops the child's social skills to be confident.

But ultimately its a major decision. It's whether living off a poorer life and decent family, is actually better than the wealthy people who have disobedient and family-hating children. (or at least they tend to avoid any acts of love)

C'est bien Moiraine?

Wah


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Greetings Mortals. My Name Is Wah, Arch Lich Wah.

[Wah]

Originally posted by bilqis: Very thought provoking Wah. This is seldom debated here in the states because of the reality that so many families have 2 working parents and no option other than daycare. It strikes at the parent's guilt. It's a difficult issue. The need for day care is there. And yet, do we really know what it's doing to our children? Deep questions. I'm interested in seeing the other questions you've been asked Wah!

Right bilquis, (reads the sheet): NEXT QUESTION

Wah's Previously Boring, But Now Not Boring Anymore Worksheet:

B) Is there a link between this theory, and adolescent? in other words, is this a considerable factor in teenagers who don't listen to their parents? Is the fault within the teenager, or the parent - who may have suffered this treatment UNKNOWINGLY in the past? Also discuss things such as teenage pregnancies and drug-taking as being "cool" and "socialable".

NOTE: Is this behaviour because they child is "grown-up" and wishes to take on an identity that they are unable to? Is it that they are WILLING to share love with others but they can't give it back - therefore they turn to drugs and other things for this "attention" that they never got?

(there are 2 more question - I'll post those if necessary, let's get this one over with too)


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Greetings Mortals. My Name Is Wah, Arch Lich Wah.